FicWad: fresh-picked original and fan fiction

Categories > Original > Poetry

Doom

The title is misleading. It makes more sense if you're not very athletic.

Category: Poetry - Rating: G - Genres: Drama - Characters:  - Published: 2007/02/23 - Updated: 2007/02/24 - 108 words - Complete

Reviews

• Doom

  (#) MarkPoa 2007-02-26 12:14:16 AM

  That was entirely unexpected that I experienced being first disappointed at the ending, then chuckling to myself.
  
  A better "sound" word may make the poem better... "thunk" doesn't seem to gel properly with the other words you've used.

  Author's response

  Yes, I do think I need a better sound word. Does "thump" sound any better? I'm not sure....well, if any one has any suggestions to replace "thunk," please tell me! ~alloreli

• Doom

  (#) MarkPoa 2007-02-26 05:38:03 PM

  Hmmm... thump does sound a bit better. It also seems to better mimic the sound better.

  Author's response

  You're right. I'm gonna go fix it right now.

• Doom

  (#) Bricougalle_Bug 2007-03-27 12:54:17 AM

  Great poem, made me laugh:)

  Author's response

  I'm glad that at least some people out there have a sense of humor!

Filter