After years of hiding the truth from each other, Gerard tells Sara how he feels about her.
"Mmm?" I mumbled.
"If this makes you feel uncomfortable, you don't have to answer. But have you ever been in love with someone before?"
I sat up and looked at his face. The only way to asnwer that question was with a lie. I opened my mouth, about to answer when the phone rang. I got up to get it, but Tim pulled me back on the couch. "No. Don't get it." He layed me down and leaned over me. "Sara, you're beautiful. Have you ever been told that?"
Had I? Sure, my parents told me all the time, and my friends, and even Gerard. I think they said it because they felt as if they were obligated to. But had someone said it and really meant it? Instead of answering him, I kissed him. The phone rang a few more time while we were still busy making out on the couch, and each time I ignored it.
A while later, Tim got up to use the washroom, and there was a knock at the door. I walked over and opened the door to see Gerard standing there looking somewhat angry. "Hey Gee, what's up?"
"I've been calling you for the past 20 minutes. What have you been doing?"
"Nothing. Listen Gee, can we make this quick. I'm kinda busy."
He walked into my house and shut the door behind him. He took both my hands in his and looked at me with his perfect rounded face. His hazel eyes seemed to be watery. "Sara, the other night. In your car, I said something. And I need you to know, that I-" but he stopped talking and was looking behind me. I turned around to see Tim had just re-entered the room. I took my hands out of Gerards, but Tim didn't seem to notice.
"Hey Gerard" Tim said, walking up beside me.
"Tim." Gerard didn't look too happy. "Sara, I have to go." He turned and walked out the door.
"Gee, I'm sorry" I called after him. But he continued walking. Walking away from me, my life.
It was finally the last day of school. It was the end of a small chapter of my life. The life I was going to have without my true love. Gerard had been avoiding me all week, and when I tried to talk to him on the weekend, he made up some excuse about having to take care of Mikey who was sick. I kept trying to think about what Gerard was going to say what. Was he going to tell me that he loves me? That he can't live without me. No, probably not, but its what I wanted. But I was really bugged. What had he wanted to tell me?
"Hey, Frank?" I handed him my year book for him to sign.
"Whats wrong with Gerard? He seemes to be mad at me or something. I didn't do anything."
Frank looked up from signing my book and I could tell he knew what was wrong. "I don't know."
"Frank, come on. I need to know. Gerard and I are supposed to be best friends."
"Then you should ask him. I can't tell you what he feels. Only he can." He handed me my yearbook back. "So we're going to meet at my house tonight. You still coming?"
"Umm. I'm not sure. I might be out with Tim."
"Sara, you have to. This might be the last time we're all together for a long time. And you're going to see Tim a lot anyway. Please, just come." he whined.
"Great, I'll see you later." He disappeared among the crowds of people who were also signing books. I sighed and went outside, thinking. I felt a tap on my shoulder and then someones arms wrap around me.
"Hey Tim." But I was let go, and turned around to see it wasn't. "Gerard."
"Hi Sara. I've missed you. And I'm sorry for being so stupid about this whole thing. You're allowed to date whomever you want. It's just that, it seems like I'm losing my best friend to Tim. God, I'm going miss you when you're gone. Why do you have to leave so soon?" Gerard had wrapped his strong arms around me, and I could smell his cigarette smoke. Man was I ever going to miss his smell.
"Im going to miss you too." He let go of me and snatched my year book. He wrote a message in it, and it took him at least 10 minutes. He gave it back and told me not to read it until I was home.
I was in Franks kitchen pouring myself some water when Mikey walked in. "Hey Mikey."
"Hey Sara." He took a seat at the table and told me to do the same thing. When I was seated, he started talking in a hushed tone. "Sara. You've known Gerard since forever pretty much. And because of that, you've known me for a long time too. So you need to tell me the truth. Are you in love with my brother?"
Oh how I wanted to tell him the truth. But I couldn't, because he would probably go and tell Gerard. "I love him Mikey, like a brother. He's been the best friend I've ever had. Of course I love him."
"I don't mean like that. I mean, are you in love with him."
"No Mikey, I'm not." He nodded, got up, and walked out. I picked up my glass and went back into the living room, where everyone was sitting around smoking and laughing.
It made me sad, looking at the guys, and knowing that in two days, I was leaving them. I suddenly didn't want to be there anymore. I felt terrible. I still hadn't told Gerard that Tim was coming with me to Toronto. And I wasn't going to. It was easier that way.
"Hey you guys. I should get going. I still have a crap load to do before I leave on Sunday, and I have to wake up early."
"Aww poo!" said Frank, who was obviously a little drunk.
"Bye!" said Ray. Gerard got up.
"Actually, I should get going too. Can I get a ride?"
"Of course." We walked silently out to my car.
"I can't believe it's over already. This year I mean." Gerard said as we drove off.
"I know. But no regrets right?"
There was a slight pause before his answer came. "Right." The rest of the way to Gerard's house was silent. I pulled up infront of his house and he slowly got out. "I'll see you Sunday then."
"Yeah. I guess so." He shut the door and I drove away. I was at my house a minute later, and immediately went to my room. The place was empty, and I found a note saying that my parents were out with Gerards. I flopped down on my bed, and 5 minutes later, there was a loud knock on the door. I went to answer, and was surprise to see Gerard standing there out of breath.
"Are you okay?" I asked him, letting him in.
"I'm fine." he panted. It took him a minute to breathe regularly, and when he spoke, his words felt like they were breaking my heart.
"Sara. You know I'm the only guy for you. I need you. I love you too much."
"Gerard, why couldn't you have told me this 3 years ago?"
Then we kissed. Not the kind of gentle kissess that Tim gave me, but the hard, meaningful ones. The whole time I was thinking, 'I love you Gerard Way.'