IsshinRyuuken. Too many memories, or not enough?
There are rules, for this kind of thing, and he knows them by now. People don't watch as carefully now as they had back in residence, but now they have more to loose. And so they played by the rules, even though Ryuuken pained when he saw how they binded his erstwhile lover.
Although they have their irregular moments, when Ryuuken gives in to his playfulness and lets himself go, for the most part their love is a sorrowful one; there are too many memories to wipe the slate clean.
He can draw Ryuuken away from his book in the morning as they lay in bed with a large but delicate hand that cupped his cheek and drew him down for a lazy, morning-breath kiss. He always manages to get it up the morning after, and sometimes then Ryuuken feels young enough to smile and laugh in the sunlight during sex. He can see how those eyes light up when he does.
Even a weekend at an onsen together recalls painful memories of honeymoons, though it also comes closest to the relaxing times that they spent together before everything became so much more complicated. It had seemed complicated then, but at least as young men they had been able to hope for a future - together. Now their future is their children; their old love is in the past.
And yet - the feeling is still the same, when Ryuuken's toes are curling into the mattress at every slow, perfect thrust, and he doesn't have to worry about how loud he moans that terrible name, pressing their bodies together and almost crying with the immensity of it all. This amazing, horrible love.