I wrote this back in October but never published it anywhere. I want to see the feedback I get if I do I will try to continue it. Please give advice to improve it is my first story :) Young Jil...
Everyday I try to put the past behind me.
Up till today I was forgetting more and more everyday.
But today is the day that it all comes back to me the day that the fear of October 31st 2005 all rushes toward me.
It had been the day before Halloween and it was a day just like this one.
My mom & I had just bought my Halloween costume I was going to be a bride because I just thought it would be a good way to look gorgeous for no reason.
My mom had told me to run into the house and put my costume away because we were going out to eat.
I hadn't noticed the message machine light blinking when I ran out the door.
The past few monthes I had been happier then I had been in a while.
You see there was this guy I liked he had a girlfriend and I was just in love with him.
We had liked each other on and off even if he had a current lover.
I didn't care as long as I got to be with him somehow.
I dreamed of the day that we would finally get to be together with out her around.
It wasn't going to happen I knew it, but I still dreamed.
Me and him had a weird relationship it had always been hard for me to hate him and stop liking him.
What I didn't know that he was a little strange, creepy strange.
He had slept with a ton of girls behind his girlfriend's back even her own cousins.
Disgusting. I didn't care for some reason though I don't know I still liked him and my friend's asked me why and I thought "the same reason she does".
Well I was constantly unhappy because of the twists and turns of our "relationship" I never believed I loved him but I surely fell for him, hard.
He would call me telling me he wanted to be with me but in the end he would still find a way to be with her.
This happened over the past few monthes and then stopped never hearing from him after September when I abruptly tried to push him away when he liked me again.
I didn't want to face the pain of another heartbreak.
By the way my name's Jill Straightwood and this is what happened to me last Halloween 2005 and why I'm so glad to finally be home.
I'll tell you the story and it won't seem bad at all I mean I will finally get what I want and more but it was nothing like I dreamed.
I was 14 years old, and after returning home with my mother from the nearest diner in our small town, my mom had told me someone left me a message.
Now my mother knew nothing about my past "fling" with the boy that had turned my life inside out.
By the way his name was, Daniel or Dan Courseman.
My mom handed me the phone and it was his name flashing on the caller ID before my very eyes.
I was scared to listen to the message and I was scared to fall for him again I was just moving on how could he do this to me now?
I felt my face burning red, my heart was pounding. What is wrong with me?
Why do I feel this way whenever I'm come in contact with him?
Why is contacting me now?
So many questions ran through my mind.
So much pain came tumbling to the front of my heart.
Maybe he knew when I moved on he had to rush back to save me from standing straight.
"Do I dare?" I Said to myself, and I pushed the message retrieve button. I dare.
I listened to the message intensely blocking out any outside sounds.
"Hey Jill, it's Dan. I was wondering if you want to go to a Halloween party with me tomorrow night. Get back to me bye"
'No! No! I don't want to go to a party with you Dan! No I can't" I screamed inside my mind.
Deep down inside I had that burning desire to go anyway because I had only moved on, on the surface.
I asked my mom, she said it was okay for me to go. Big help she was.
I hadn't had any prior plans just to go trick-or-treating with a bunch of friends but I could cancel they wouldn't care.
Well I'd go I'd be fine no reason not to go, I thought.
So I Called him back.
"Oh hey Dan it's Jill.
"Is that offer still open for the party?" I asked.
"Well of course it is Jill, you know I love seeing you"
What a crack, I knew he loved seeing my mouth against his. Ick.
"The party is at 7 I'll pick you up then. Bye, Jill" He hung up.
Oh god, what did I get myself in to!? I thought to myself while hanging up the phone.
"I'm soo screwed!"
I screamed into my hands. Not as screwed as I thought.
Next day----October 31st 2005, Halloween.
It was a Saturday and I couldn't even sleep in.
My stomach was killing me and I kept tossing and turning.
I kept going over exactly how the night would go in my head.
My mind traveled through scenarios that were so predictable.
"Hey Dan!" I'd say as he picked me up in my lovely bride's costume.
We'd get to the party a little late because as usual he would be late leaving me to think he ditched me.
We get there, and end up making out in some dark corner at the party.
As usual Dan will have had a couple of drinks, I could tell, his breath would smell of alcohol.
Then he would ask me to go "outside" because it's always more fun out there.
"In the freezing cold?" I'd ask, playing dumb to his plan.
Eventually I'd get roped into what his idea of "fun" is, and there I will be half dressed outside some strangers house.
Of course, with my "date" or fling you should call him, because two days from then he would be back with his love.
This always happened like last time I went on a date with Dan.
You see, we had dated before and just kissed without me getting roped into his games.
Then he lost all respect for me on our fourth date.
Me being the naive girl I am lost all self respect and "went outside" with Dan.
What a fool I am. I'm too easy. damn. Ever since then he asks me to go outside.
Sounds Great. I thought escaping my scenario. "I can't wait.", I said while shoving my face back into my pillow, nervous and disappointed in my weakness for Dan Coursemen.
Well I eventually slept the day away and before I knew it I had slept past 12.
It was 12:06PM.
I had 5 hours and 54 min before the party.
After I dragged myself out of bed I took a shower and ate some lunch.
Then I called my friend, Amy. She always helped me with my problems, well guy problems.
After I told her my dilemma;she told me:
"Well I don't even know why you're going out with him again I thought we had a deal? I wouldn't date Mark again if you didn't date Dan?" She interrogated.
"Well I was weak. You know me, But I really just need some advice."
"Okay...well all I have to tell you is don't, do not, go 'outside' with him. He already thinks you're easy, no need to make it worse."
She told me.
"I know I know. I promise I won't." I said knowing that was something I never could keep.
"That's all I can tell you. You shouldn't even be going to a party with him in the first place. I have to go though bye! have fun!" She said.
"hah. bye." and I hung up.
ding dong the door bell rang. It was Dan.
He was here, late as usual leaving me in a humiliating panic.
This was going exactly as I thought.
I ran to answer the door, there he was in his suit, I guess he remembered me telling him that I was being a bride and he wanted to make it cute and be a groom.
"Oh hooray" I had thought.
So we left and got to the party with everyone's sad compliments of "aw you guys look like real husband and wife", "that's so cute."
"Thanks" I would smile fakely.
Yea, cute and disgusting. I thought to myself bitterly.
In my head I was so bitter to the world and Dan.
In person I had been completely different; Smiling a lot and laughing and going along with holding his hand.
Then it happened. He made the offer.
"This is getting boring, do you wanna get out of here?"
There it was only an hour and a half into the party and he already 'popped the question'.
I said 'alright',I was in no position to make up an excuse.
Well maybe I should have made up some lame excuse, maybe I should have, just maybe.
Now call me crazy but I thought get out of here meant go outside, but no it was further then that much further.
We stood by some stranger's car waiting for him to open it.
I didn't know him, he was scary, real sketchy and creepy.
I stood close to Dan thinking he was my only protection.
He wasn't, he was everything, everything I should have been afraid of.
Everything I feared was lying in him, hidden and disguised.
Although,on the other hand...
Everything I wanted was lying in him, hidden and disguised.