Categories > TV > House1 Reviews
400 odd words inspired by the many House doesn't make noise during sex fics. Consider this a rebuttal. Slash.
Summary: 400 odd words inspired something that's been bugging me. I read three of those "House doesn't make noise during sex" fics last night. No way, not my House. So, I wrote this. Let's call it a PG-13.
"Oh, oh, Jesus fucking Christ yes, yes, yes!"
Wilson's head popped up from his previous engagement. "Shut up," he whispered fiercely.
"Don't stop." House gasped.
"Then shut the hell up," Wilson said.
"Just shut up."
"Yeah, fine, whatever," House said, twisting his fingers into Wilson's hair and tugging it back towards his lap. "Just don't stop."
House breathed deep, bit his lip, mumbled and let out a little "Oh." Then a louder "Oh." Then a "Oh, oh, oh shit god, yes, yes, oh."
Wilson's head popped up again and he slapped a hand over House's mouth. "Shut. Up."
"Mmm!" House said.
"You need to shut up."
"Mmm!" House repeated.
"If you don't shut up," Wilson said, narrowing his eyes, "I'm going to gag you." It was, obvious to anyone else, a joke.
Wilson removed his hand.
House grinned. "I'd like to see you try."
So Wilson did. He pulled his tie from around his neck, inserted the thickest section of silk between House's lips and secured it behind his head with a knot. He then proceeded to kiss the covered lips and bite the proffered neck and lower himself back down between House's legs to resume his ministrations.
The problem was that cloth gags don't actually muffle noise.
Yes, the words lose all semblance of meaning, the plosives fade and the resulting sound is mostly vowels. But it is a sound.
A rather loud sound.
"Uh! Uh, uh, uh, uh uuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhh!" House's head pressed hard against the back of the chair. "Oh, ug, hit, oh hod hit, hodamit."
Wilson's face flushed.
"Hodamit. Oh, oly hit, oh od. Eesus kist. Eesus, ont sop. Ont sop."
House's fingers tightened and as he came, more then one head turned to the strange guttural noise erupting from behind the locked office door.
A few were still looking when the door swung open. House looked sweaty and triumphant. Wilson, adjusting his tie, looked at the floor.
"Never at work again," Wilson said.
They were approached by a clip-clop of high heels. "Dr. House! Dr. Wilson!"
Their heads moved in unison to look at Cuddy. House leered. Wilson smiled nervously.
"I think we need to have another discussion about professional behavior." She said, her hands on her hips. "My office, now."
She turned and stomped down the hallway.
"Why can't you ever learn to keep your mouth shut?"