Draco rants about his displeasure with the kinds of fan fiction written about him. Rated for Draco's mouth.
I don't get it. Why does no one understand that you can be Dark without being evil?
Am I arrogant, prideful, snobbish? Yes. Do I think that I'm better than everyone? I like to believe so. Can I bit a bit sadistic? Sometimes. Can I be a downright cold little bastard? When I feel like it.
But am I evil? No.
Voldermort is one sick, twisted little man, and from me, that's saying something. Torturing your followers, trying to find immortality, giving yourself a freaking snake face - even to me, that's creepy. Voldemort is insane and evil.
I am merely dark.
Which is why it pisses me off when all these fic writers make me into some secretly suffering little pansy who just needs love and friendship and all that crap. I don't have a deep dark secret from my childhood. My dad wasn't the greatest, but he didn't beat me. I am perfectly secure in my place above the rest of the world. I'm not about to start going around hugging Mudbloods and Muggle lovers.
And for goodness' sake, don't put me with Potty and the Weasel. I like girls, thank you very much, and even if I didn't I wouldn't go and shag my two greatest rivals of the past few years. Harry is a halfblood, which automatically puts him beneath me, and then he's a Gryffindor, and he's the oh-so-wonderful savior of the friggin planet. Weasel boy may be pureblood, but his family's got less gold than Longbottom has brains, and he's a Muggle loving blood traitor.
Even worse than what I've already mentioned, if that's possible, fic writers seem to love making me become a Death Eater and then regret it, or get killed, or something like that. Now, let's go over it again. I AM NOT EVIL. Evil and good are basically the same, you know. You're working for a greater cause, you're looking out for people other than yourself, you're serving under someone. I am only trying to protect one person in the world - me. If I went and joined Voldemort, that would severely lower my chances of dying a natural death. Either he'd kill me or the 'good guys' would.
So, am I understood here? I am dark. I am not evil. I am not a little Death Eater in the making. I've been taking out money from my account in small, insignificant amounts over the past two years. By the time my father decides to try and force me to join, I'll have enough money to take it all and run. I'm good enough with a wand to Transfigure my face, and cunning enough to create a whole new life, and lie low until Potty boy defeats Voldemort - which will happen. I don't like him, but Slytherins don't lie to themselves, and I can see that he's got power and talent.
Anyway, where was I? Oh, yes. To all you fic writers out there - DON'T SCREW WITH ME. I am not insecure, I do not secretly have a crush on that red-headed Muggle loving twerp, or even worse, on that Granger Mudblood. I'll probably end up with Pansy, she's the only decent-looking pureblood my age, and I need heirs, because hell if my fortune is going to some distant relation I don't even know. I am a sadistic, cruel, Dark bastard who only looks out for himself, and I am most certainly not a Death Eater. Get it through your thick little Mudblood-loving minds, and BUGGER. OFF.
A/N: One last thing - no offense meant to anyone who has written/plans to write/is writing a Draco-turns-Light fic, a Draco/Harry fic, or any of the other fics mentioned in the above, er, fic. I wasn't criticizing them (I myself have a Light!Draco/Hermione fic in the works) I just wanted to write something about how I imagine Draco, as JKR portrays him, would react to the different kinds of fics out there about him.