New Years Eve in the States with Schuldig and Farf.
He found him wandering down the hallway in search of someone to tie his tie.
"How does Crawford wear these things on a daily basis?" Farf asked as Schuldig finished the knot for him. "Feels like someone is trying to hang me."
"They have to catch you first. And given the option, I'd go for the firing squad instead," Schuldig said. "Messier. But at least you know you'll die faster."
Farf laughed and they made their way downstairs.
"Where are you two going dressed like that?" Nagi asked as they came into the foyer.
"Out," Schuldig said. "It is New Years Eve, you know."
"Just don't do anything that requires my bailing you out of jail. We head back to Japan in the morning, so I'd appreciate neither of you being hung over as well," Crawford said from behind Modern Theoretical Physics.
"Oh, come on, Brad! This is our last night in America; we have to make it count!" Schuldig said.
"No arrests. No way to trace the bodies back to us. Understand?"
"Ja, ja, ja. Fun Nazi," Schuldig mumbled under his breath.
"I heard that."
"And?" Schuldig said before bounding out the door with Farfarello in tow.
"Crawford-san?" Nagi said, looking at the now closed door worriedly.
"Think they'll raise the body count again this year?"
Schuldig parked the rental car a few blocks away from their ultimate destination a few minutes until midnight. He dug into the back seat for the things he and Farfarello needed.
They paused outside of the huge double doors, listening. As the last peals of bells faded away, Farfarello kicked the doors open and smiled at the startled expressions of the congregation.
Schuldig stepped in behind him, closing the doors. He flipped open his clipboard and beamed at the room in general.
"Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. So happy you could make the sojourn into Hell. I'm Neil and this is Bob. We will be the demons in charge of your torture."
He smirked at the collective gasp that ran through the room.
"Now, there's no need to rush things. Plenty of suffering to go around," he said smiling.
Schuldig and Farfarello staggered through the door of the penthouse suite not long before sunrise. They were still laughing while looking at something on Schuldig's cell phone. They found Crawford waiting up for them in the kitchen.
"Was it really necessary to write phrases such as "canting hypocrite" on their foreheads in permanent marker?"
"Hey, a little trauma goes a long way. I'm only warning anyone they might run into ahead of time," Schuldig said, taking a huge drink from the milk carton.
Crawford sighed. "At least there wasn't a body count."
"Oh, there'll be a body count alright," Farfarello said, snickering.
"Do I want to know?" Crawford sighed.
"About the wild orgy that went on at the very respectable church last night? Or the fact that it's all over the internet?"
"I doubt the call for abstinence will be on the pastor's agenda this Sunday."
Okay, just in case anyone took offense, in no way was this intended to be, condone or orchestrate bashing of any particular religion in any way. This is Farf and Schuldig, remember?