"Lets go!" Mikey grabbed Alicia's hand and they walked ahead. Me and Gerard silently lagged behind. I kept my hands behind my back in case as we walked our hands might brush. I didn't want to touch him of all people. We all reached a parked cab in front of the venue. After a ten minute ride we arrived at a cute little Japanese restaurant. It was packed. Almost every table was taken. The young waitress showed us to a table that only sat two.
"I'm sorry but we only have two booths. They both seat two and are on completely different sides of the restaurant." Alicia and Mikey looked at us with sad faces. I didn't want to ruin their night.
"Its alright, hun. These two will sit here. We'll take the other one." I smiled at them and they smiled greatfully back. The girl led me and Gerard to the last booth. It was in the corner, the kind of spot I liked it. We thanked her and I stared at my menu. The waitress came back. Gerard ordered his shit and I ordered my sushi and saki. I sat with a blank expression. Kind of just staring behind Gerard. At all the happy couples, including Mikey and Alicia. I wonder if Mikey recognized me. Probably not because of my hair and my piercings and tattoos. All the make-up and the crazy wardrobe. I kind of wish he would have recognized me.
"Alicia, whats Porcelain's real name?"
"Oh I don't know. She doesn't tell ANYONE. Its not even on the internet!" she continued to sip her soda.
"Why is that? Whos she hiding from?" I laughed a little, so did she.
"I don't know but shes doing a great job at it. I checked the internet. Not one site anywhere has her real name."
"Shes looks so familiar. Its weird."
"Hmm. Maybe she'll tell you one day. I know all of The Used know it. So does her band."
"Interesting...." She looked like someone I knew. I just couldn't put my finger on who.
I leaned back in my seat. I could tell Gerard was uncomfortable with the silence. So I said nothing, I liked watching him squirm like the little worm he was. I smirked and he nervously smiled. I returned a fake on like usual and waited for him to say anything.
"So Porcelain. Where are you from?"
"Born and raised?"
"No. lets just say I moved around a lot. How about you?"
"Oh I like it there." More than you think...
"Its my favourite place to be."
"My favourite place to be is a bar." I smiled and he laughed.
"I can see you're quite the drinker."
"That, my love, is very true. I picked up my saki and sipped it quickly.
"So can I ask you a personal question?"
"Depends on how personal."
"What's your real name?"
"Like I said before, I cannot tell you."
"Can you at least tell me why you cant tell me?"
"Fine." I took a long sip of my drink ready to tell my tale. "I grew up in a fucked up home with a fucked up family and a fucked up life. A lot of bad things happened to me so I left my life and everyone in it behind. I made a new name for myself. A new look. A new identity. Just to escape my problems. Some call me a coward, others a genius. But either way I'm a fucked up little girl and I like my life now."
"You seem really intelligent. I understand what you're saying but I cant say that I can relate. Although I've become fucked up over the years."
"I can tell."
"You seem dead inside. Always drunk? On medication? Am I right?"
"Y-yeah. You are."
"I'm the same. But worse. Its okay to be fucked up because everyone is at least a little bit." He smiled brightly at me. It was the first time we made an actual connection in three long years. And the only problem with the picture was we were complete strangers to each other.