"What about me? Where am I sleeping?"
"Hmm. You'll just have to bunk with Gee!" he walked away leaving me stunned. Well at least there was two beds in every room. We reached the room. When he opened the door I flung my bag inside. It hit a small table which fell over from the impact of the bag. Gerard laughed. I was about to jump on one of the beds when I noticed there was ONLY ONE BED.
"What the fuck!? One bed!?"
"I'll take the fold up couch."
"NO. I wont let you. I guess we can just share the bed. Its big enough...I think..." I rummaged through my bag and pulled out some clothes than raced to bathroom. I needed a shower, bad. I sat in the shower just letting the warm water hit my back for almost an hour and decided to come out and get some rest. I put on my pj's and dried my hair. I took off all my make-up but afterwards applied a small layer of eyeliner so I didn't look like a monster. I emerged from the bathroom and fell face down on the bed groaning. Gerard laughed and continued flipping through the channels that displayed boring re-runs of Scrubs.
"Nothing on." He groaned and let the remote fall onto the pillow next to him. I jumped up and grabbed it. After flicking through the channels I found a movie.
"Night of the living dead?"
"Yes please!" I clicked on the channel. The movie was just about to start. We both jumped up and ran around the room shutting doors and lights and curtains to keep out all light but the tv. I plugged in a small night light in the bathroom and creaked the door open a bit for a small beam to shine through. He grabbed us snacks and we both pulled the blanket I brought on top of us. I felt like I did when we were kids. Not that 19 is much older than 16. It felt like old times but I knew he didn't feel the same. He didn't know the real me. He looked down at my pajama pants and smiled. I was wearing his. I smiled back and we focused on the movie. Half way through it was getting intense.
"Holy shit...." I grabbed his wrist and he put his other hand on top of mine. i could tell he was scared as much as I was.
"AGHHHHHH!!!" We both shot up in the air and gripped onto each other tightly. I hadn't been that close to him in three years. It felt nice. I leaned my head on his chest as we both breathed heavily scared from the scene we just saw. He still smelt the same... another scary scene popped up and I hid my eyes in his shirt. He laughed at me so I looked up.
"Are you laughing at me?"
"Because you're so scared over such a dumb movie."
"You're scared too."
"No I'm not."
"You're latching on to me with a death grip. You're scared shit."
"Maybe I just want to be close to you."
"That's fine too." What was I doing? I was falling in love all over again? No! bad Alaina, bad! He smiled at me. That sweet adorable i-care-about-you smile. It was so cheesy but I couldn't get enough of it. I had to return it. My body wouldn't let me hold it back. He glanced at my lips and back to my eyes. Then leaned down.
'No, shit, no. Don't let him kiss you. You have to leave him soon. Don't!' He pressed his lips to mine and kissed me. I felt like I was about to explode. I kissed back. It wasn't because that's my first instinct. I really wanted this. At the same time I didn't. He layed me on my back and his hands moved up my shirt. My hands made the same movements. Suddenly I realized what I was doing. I pushed him off me and started to cry. I grabbed my shoes and a jacket and tried to quickly put them on but my hands were shakey.
"I-I'm sorry Porcelain. I-"
"You didn't do anything wrong."
"Why are you crying then?" He put his hands on my shoulders.
"I just-I-I don't-" I couldn't tell him the real reasons. I walked out of the room and ran down the hall. He tried following and called my name loudly but I didn't care I kept going. I walked around the hotel aimlessly until I decided I needed a smoke. I reached inside my jacket pocket to get my pack and lighter when I felt something else. After I lit the cigarette I put it between my lips and took the object I had felt before. When I pulled it out it glistened in the moonlight. It was the necklace. I remembered when Gerard gave it to me. All those years ago.
"Porcelain?" My cigarette dropped from my mouth and I turned around to see Mikey.
"Are you okay?"
"Mhm." I could barely push out that simple yes. My tears had flood my vision and ruined my eyeliner. He looked at my sadly and then down at my hands. When he gaze stopped there his eyes widened.