Every time I turned around, Gerard was asking me what was wrong.
Mikey wasn't talking to me.
Amanda was trying to get me to talk to Mikey.
J.B. was trying to make me feel better.
Like any of that could possibly help, I thought angrily. The only thing that could honestly make me feel better would be to sort out how I felt about all of this or for Mikey to start talking to me again.
It was a Friday night. I could tell, cause every Friday in my house is the same. I could hear the TV playing some sort of old black and white cowboy movie that my dad was watching, and my mom was out with her girlfriends, laughing it up at some family-owned restaurant like every other Friday.
I stared out the window at the darkness outside, seeing a watery reflection of a pale face framed by blond hair in the glass.
I sighed. I did really have to do something. Sitting here and letting the whole thing get worse by not talking was definitely not going to help. I pulled on my shoes and a little bit too big hoodie, and headed outside, telling my dad that I was going to the Way's house. I had sort of made my decision on Monday, and now I was going to complete it.
Amanda and J.B.'s IM Discussion
J.B.: we need to help leila
Amanda: yeah how
J.B.: i dont know do you think she likes mikey?
Amanda: i dont know i always thought she kinda liked gerard
J.B.: yeah i always kind of thought that too...
( 2 minutes of no typing)
J.B.: i have a plan but youre going to have to help
At The Way House
I shivered a little, and then pressed the little white button beside the Ways front door. From outside, I could faintly hear the doorbell sound, and a few moments, later, Mrs. Way was peering outside. She gave me a nervous smile.
"Hi, Mrs. Way," I said, very quietly. "Do you think I could talk to Mikey?"
"Yes," she whispered, giving a quick nod. "I don't know what's happened between you two, but Mikey's just moping around the house and sighing. I hope you can fix it."
I gave Mrs. Way a warm smile and stepped inside as she closed the door behind me. Softly, I climbed up the stairs, knowing that the blaring of the TV (which I guessed Gerard was the one watching it) drowned out the sound of my Chuck Taylors.
Mikey's door was closed, and I paused outside of it. Whatever I was going to do in there was going to be important, I thought seriously. With this in mind, I took a deep breath, and gave the door an affirmative knock.
"Come in," came Mikey's voice, muffled by the closed door. Slowly, I took the doorknob and turned it, stepping inside.
Mikey, bent over his desk while working on something, looked over his shoulder and saw me.
"Why are you here?" he said coldly, watching me from his chair. I jammed my hands into my hoodie pockets.
"I've come to apologize," I said quietly.
"Okay..." Mikey said slowly.
"I'm sorry for making you feel bad on Saturday and then blowing you off to go and help Gerard," I said, a little hurriedly. I was never too good at apologies.
Mikey turned away from me, sighed, and then stood up to face me.
"That was all kind of my fault too, I guess," he said softly, looking at some obscure pile of clothing in the corner of the room. "And I guess I'm sorry for not talking to you the whole week. I...I wasn't sure if you wanted to talk to me after...." He trailed off lamely, and I gave him a gentle smile.
"I understand completely," I said cheerfully. It felt nice to apologize.
"Um..." Mikey started uncertainly, shifting his weight from one leg to the other. "Do you wanna..."
He was blushing furiously. My stomach was all knotted up as I thought quickly. Did I want to what? Kiss him? Go out with him? Ignore this all and just be friends again?
"Do I want to what?" I breathed.
"....kiss," Mikey said softly.
I paused. "Yeah," I said slowly, taking a small step towards him. Gently, he pulled me in, pausing a few inches out. I could hear him inhale, and I closed my eyes right before Mikey Way kissed me.
"Hey, Mikey, Mom says to go downstairs cause it's din-" Gerard started, trotting by the door and then stopping dead. Quickly I pulled away, and so did Mikey. Both of us were red enough to make a tomato jealous.
"Did you come here to make out with him or something?" Gerard asked, his voice emotionless as he stared at me. I shook my head quickly, not trusting myself to speak.
"My mom says you can eat here if your parents let you," Gerard said slowly.
"No," I said quickly. "That's alright. I'll just go home." With that, I hurried out of Mikey's room, down the stairs, and escaped from the Ways house.
I inhaled a deep breath of cold air, which immediately made me think more clearly.
I had kissed Mikey, yes, but I knew I didn't really like him that way. And I didn't think I ever could. But we had kissed, which I had definitely not planned. And then, I had actually agreed to. What had I been thinking there?
I sighed, looking at the golden lights streaming onto half-dead lawns from the houses I was walking past. I got the distinct feeling that I had really just screwed things up more.
But I knew one thing.
I didn't have a crush on Gerard any more.
I don't know how, but the crush I had maintained steadily since fifth grade had simply gone off and died over the past week. Somehow, I felt a little freed by it. Maybe it was a sign I was growing up by realizing that Gerard could never possibly have a crush on me in return. It made me a little sad, but I felt a little happy too.
And you never know, I thought ruefully as I stepped inside my house, I might like Mikey afterall.
Gerard Way has a girlfriend.
I don't think there wasn't a person in school who wasn't shocked at this sudden development. Gerard Way, the boy who most girls thought had a fear of commitment or something, actually had a girlfriend.
And you know what?
I hate her.
Her name is Amy. She has her dark brown hair exhuberantly highlighted with blond. She wears trendy clothes.
I think Gerard's on drugs or something for picking her.
And the way she laughs is really, really annoying.
I had plunked down at a lunch table outside today with Amanda and J.B.
"Gerard's got a girlfriend," I said quietly, as he was seated a few tables away with /her/.
"Who?" Amanda asked, confused. I motioned with my head to Amy.
J.B. rose an eyebrow, her signature characteristic. "Really? That does not seem like the kind of girl he'd like."
I shrugged./ The only reason I feel so irritated is because, as a friend, I think he has made a bad decision and he's going to get hurt,/ I told myself firmly. You don't have a crush on him any more, remember?
I couldn't help it. I didn't pay attention the rest of the day.
I was curled up into a tiny ball on my bed.
I don't like Gerard. I have no reason to be angry, I thought.
You know you do, whispered that little voice in the back of my brain that I completely hated by this point.
No I don't.
Tell yourself that all you want, but you know your lying.
I sighed, sitting up and rubbing my eyes. This was so much more stress than I needed.
The phone rang, making me jump, for it seemed uncannily loud in my quiet room.
I picked it up, clicked the little button in the middle, and held it to my ear.
"Hello?" I said.
"Hey, Leila. It's Mikey."
"Oh, hi Mikey!" I said cheerfully, trying to cover the residue of the feelings I had just been analyzing.
"Um, I just kind of felt like calling you..." Mikey's voice sounded small over the phone, I realized.
"That's nice of you," I said absent-mindedly.
"What's bothering you?" Mikey asked quietly.
"I..." I paused, and then pressed on. "I don't really think I want to go out with you, Mikey. That's all." I was lying a little, for the Amy thing was distressing me too, but this was something weighing heavily on my mind.
There was a moment of silence, and then Mikey laughed.
"I was just calling to tell you that," he said happily. "Thank God you did it for me."
I smiled, and then felt like an idiot, cause Mikey couldn't see me smile through the receiver.
"I just felt it would be weird and stuff, after being friends for so long," he said. "And I didn't want to ruin our friendship cause, like, you're my best friend."
"Thanks, Mikey," I said quietly. "That's really nice of you."
"Alright, well, I've got homework to do, so...bye!"
"Bye," I said in return before clicking the hang up button.
Well, I thought mildly. That was one problem solved.
*An:Thanks for the reviews and ratings you guys! I really appreicate them!