Categories > Original > Humor3 Reviews
This is a one-shot about four people playing Uno. Staring: An orginal character by the name of Karmen, a touble making Rikki Simons, a confused Roman Dirge and a very pissed off Jhonen Vasquez. ...
"GO FISH!" Roman yelled pointing his finger at me.
"Dirge this is Uno and it's not your turn it's Rikki's" I said motioning towards Rikki who was sitting on the opposite side of me looking very confused I might add.
"GO FISH DAMN IT!" Roman yelled throwing his cards down on the table.
"Okay then..." Rikki said looking over his cards. He placed down a red reverse card making it my turn once again. Jhonen, who was on the other side of Rikki, groaned a very load groan wile putting his head in his hands. He had to endure 5 minutes of use skipping, reversing and making him draw just to keep him from playing. I smiled at his reaction finding joy in his misery (3 hours of Uno will do that to a person). My hand at the moment was: a blue 2, green 7, yellow reverse, blue draw 2, and a wild. I placed down the reverse and Jhonen brightened only to be crushed again with Rikki placed down a yellow skip. Jhonen glared and put his head back down.
"My turn!" Roman sang as he started to pick up cards from the deck. A few seconds and ten cards later he put down a wild draw 4. "GO FUCKING FISH BITCH!" He yelled at me. I rolled my eyes and picked up 4 cards out of the dreaded deck. "I choose green!" A green skip card stared back at me. I placed it down on top of the evil draw 4 only to be made def by Jhonen shrieking with joy. He leapt up and hugged me from across the small table. Something he would NOT do.
"Karmen you are my hero!" He yelled much like Roman has been through this whole game. He retracted and placed down the last wild draw 4 card. "BLUE!"
"Who are you and what have you done with Jhonen?" I asked him in mock seriousness.
"I am Yohan Vasqueez and I locked him in the basement and plan on feeding him to my evil flesh eating monkeys." He said matter-of-factly.
"But of they just eat the flesh what about the organs and whatnot?" Rikki asked.
"Well I'll feed them to Dirge." Jho-Yohan said.
"You'll feed what to Dirge?" Roman asked looking up from his cards obviously oblivious to the previous conversation.
"His cum." Rikki said as though it was a normal every day conversation.
"What?!?!?" Dirge asked looking at Jhonen whose head was in hs hands. Again. Just then I magically pulled out my copy of Noogies (a/n: for those of you who don't know that is the collection of Lenore issues 1-4. If you don't know who Lenore is stop reading. NOW!) and hit Rikki hard in the head with it.
"Don't listen to him Dirge. We were just talking about how Jhonen was locked in the basement and there was flesh eating bats and Yohan was going to feed you some organs and whatnot." I said probably making no cense. But that's okay! I rarely do anyway!
"Oh...Wait what?" Dirge asked even more confused than he was before.
"Never mind." I said shaking my head then looking at my Lenore book. "But wile I have this...Will you sign it?" I asked smiling and magically pulling out a sharpie. Dirge looked at me funny but signed it any way.
"You're one strange girl Karmen." Jhonen said. Rikki and Dirge nodded in agreement. All I could do was smile and pick up all the cards (even though we were far away from being done) and started shuffling.
"I know. I know..." I said dealing the cards as the guys looked at each other with a 'she-is-crazy' look. I just kept smiling.
UNLEASH THE EVIL FLESH EATING MONKEYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Please review or the Dirge will be mad. Do you want the Dirge to be mad? I think not!