Bob tries to kill Frankie with a poisoned chicken and gravy potpie. But he forgot one little detail about Frankie's diet...
The lights of the tour bus dimmed and the silhouette of a figure could be seen standing there with a pie in his hands. It was not Gerard Way. It wasn't even Frankie Iero, nor was it Ronnie Radke or MAx Green. It was...
The cool lighting effect ended when everyone realized it was only Bob. Then they all went back to sewing the llama back together.
Bob glared out the window in my general direction before standing up with the potpie carefully. I think he already stood up last chapter but it's been so damn long and... I CAN DREAM, CAN'T I?
Bob continued walking to the back of the bus, where Frankie was sitting by himself (AWWWWWW HOW SAD) restringing his guitar while reading crappy Escape the Fate fanfiction on Quizzilla thanks to Gerard's laptop while simultaneously eating the head off of a Hello Kitty marshmallow pop.
"Hey Frank," Bob said to him, and Frankie quickly shoved the Hello Kitty marshmallow pop down his shoe to pretend like it had never been there. He didn't want to look like a GIRL who ate HELLO KITTY MARSHMALLOW POPS. No matter how deliciously fattening they are!
"Hi," Frankie replied, clicking out of the Escape the Fate fanfiction because there was a lemony part in that chapter involving MAx Green fucking Ronnie in the ass that Frankie didn't want anyone to know he was reading.
"My mom just sent me a potpie," Bob gestured to the potpie enthusiastically. "But I already ate a bucket of sushi, so I'm full. Want it?"
Frankie considered the potpie for a second, looking it over from his seat on the floor before asking slowly, "What's in it?"
POISON! Bob's evil brain screamed, but Bob kept his tongue.
"...Chicken and gravy," Bob responded coolly. THAT WAS A SPELLING WORD LAST WEEK. AND I'M IN THE 8TH FUCKING GRADE.
"Oh, no thanks then. I appreciate the offer though," Frankie smiled quickly before returning his gaze to the crappy fanfiction that was making his eyes bleed.
"...Why not?" Bob asked, his anger returning. "My mom made it. There's no poison in it or anything."
LIE! Bob's evil brain screamed at him.
"Yeah, tell her 'thanks' for that. But I can't have it. I'm sorry."
"...Yes you CAN, ANYONE can eat a POTPIE!" Bob almost lost his temper there. ALMOST.
"But I'm a vegetarian!" Frankie replied. Bob looked like an evil madman with three heads right about then, so Frankie felt himself shrinking into the corner.
"EAT IT!" Evil Bob Man yelled. He was about to shove it down poor Fwankie's throat before Frankie squealed "GEE!" and Gerard came running into the room.
"Whoa... Bill, what are you doing?"
Bob flared his nose at Gerard's lack of caring for his name, then turned on his heel to face Gerard in a more manly manner. While Bob was turned away...
IF YOU COULD GET ME A DRINK OF WATAHH
CUZ MY LIPS ARE CHAPPED AND FADED!
Sorry. I couldn't resist.
...Frankie returned to reading the crappy Escape the Fate fanfiction while slipping his iPod headphones into his ears to secretly jam out to 'THERE'S NO SYMPATHY FOR THE DEAD' and stare at Ronnie's hot ass. Sometimes he wished he had joined that band instead. Just so he could stare at Ronnie's hot ass. Don't we all wish that sometimes? Yeah. Well, Frankie had to settle for staring at Gerard's hot ass, since Frankie's in MCR, remember? HEHEHEH!
"Bill, what are you doing?" Gerard resumed the conversation.
"We already went over this."
"I'm offended because Frankie won't eat my mom's potpie!" Bob lied. LIAR LIAR PLANTS FOR HIRE. HIM AND SPONGEBOB DO HAVE STUFF IN COMMON!
"What kind is it?" Gerard asked with a slight interest. Oh yeah, he has his voice back now. Forgot to mention that since I haven't written this in TWO MONTHS.
"Chicken and gravy," Bob responded. "I think there's some potato in there too..."
"Well there's your problem!" Gee exclaimed, giving a haute couture little gasp.
"What's a problem?" Bob asked, putting one of his hands on his hips because the other one was still holding the pie. And it was getting sweaty!
"Frankie's a vegetarian, silly! Maybe if you ask your mom for a different flavor he'll eat it," Gerard tilted his head to the side and smiled, satisfied that he had solved the world's biggest problem that day.
Bob instead flared his nose. Some smoke came out of his ears but it was mostly nose action that was going on. "..." was all he said. Which means he didn't say anything, for those of you who are less than smart!
"Bye bye now," Gerard smiled again, skipping away to go ask Mikey if they could go look for fake MySpaces of themselves again.
As Gerard left, Bob turned back to Frankie. "Well if you're not gonna eat it, then who..."
Bob couldn't finish because after he said the word 'who', Frankie's guitar accidentally smacked the pie out of Bob's hands! It landed on Bob's face.
"AAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHMMMMMMMMMMAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!" Bob cried, his cry running off of the FicWad boundary lines and fucking up your computer!
The pie hurt his face real bad!! It hurt so bad he started yelling and kicking and screaming and hating life and being more emo than usual. He had to go to the bathroom also, but there wasn't one, so he crawled back into his bed and curled up into a little ball. All he had left to attempt to kill was Mikey. And he couldn't try to kill the same person twice in one story like some clichÃ©d Escape the Fate fanfiction! So that meant Mikey would have to die or the whole world would know Bob was a pussy. Actually, they wouldn't know because nobody knows who Bob Bryar is anyway.
End of chapter eight.