...Is the amount of power you're willing to sacrifice.
"You fuck her yet?"
A groan and a plea.
"No, you're not going to answer me, or no, you haven't fucked her yet?"
"God, Brendon, shut up!"
Suddenly, his hands halted. Ryan opened his eyes and practically panted, his head still resting against a wall, his lower region still straining to reconnect with Brendon's hands.
"What the fuck are you doing?"
"You know, Ryan, I'm doing this for you. I would at least like a straight answer."
Ryan snapped. He was a slave for contact and he needed it badly.
Brendon smirked and recommenced his actions. He loved the fact that he had this power over Ryan, something no one else could ever have. He closed his lips over Ryan's as the other boy moaned Brendon's name, finally reaching his peak. The moan vibrated in Brendon's throat and caused him to groan back, pushing his and Ryan's bodies against the wall where they clung to each other, glowing and smelling of sex and desire in their stage clothes. Ryan readjusted his outfit and smiled as Brendon grabbed his hand and pulled him from behind the curtain.
"Let the show begin."
Melody didn't know.
Their quick backstage rendezvous, the reasons they always went to the vending machines, the bathroom, and the fucking sound booth together.
She didn't understand.
Ryan told her that he hadn't touched Brendon since that day in the corridor.
That day was stupid and foolish.
He had no one, no girls for sure.
He had just needed some physical contact, skin on skin.
And she believed every word.
After all, Melody Porter was hot, the desire of every man and woman.
Or so she thought.
Yeah, Ryan had slept with her.
But it was all part of the game, all part of something much larger.
That's how much Ryan had been out with her in the past two weeks.
That's how many times Ryan whispered, Brendon groaned, the two of them connected, getting more and more disheveled by the second.
And when Ryan would mutter "Fuck you" to one of Brendon's ridiculous comments, it wasn't just a statement.
It was a promise.
"You've gotta stop having sex with Brendon."
Ryan choked on his water and turned to his best friend. The two of them were sitting in the dressing room after the show, waiting for Brendon and Jon to finish showering so they could have their turn. Melody was outside smoking a cigarette and giggling on the phone.
"What are you talking about, Spencer?"
"Do you really think you guys are that secretive? Do you think we can't hear when you're standing right behind the fucking curtain getting blown? The fans are loud, Ryan, but I'm not deaf. And neither is Melody."
"Are you saying you care about Melody?"
"No, that's not what I'm saying. What I'm saying is, if she finds out you're cheating on her, we're done. You can wave goodbye to the fans, the shows, and everybody who just sees you as Ryan Ross, the phenomenal guitarist from Panic! At The Disco. When she finds out about this, the world will find out. Do you get what I'm saying now?"
"You think I'm phenomenal?"
Ryan tried to make Spencer smile by cracking this small joke. However, Spencer was not pleased in the slightest. Ryan sighed.
"All right, I'll be more careful."
"I'm not asking you to be more careful, Ryan, I'm asking you to stop. Stop fucking with Melody or stop fucking Brendon. I don't care what you do, just stop."
Just then, the door to the one bathroom opened and Brendon stepped out in a towel, motioning for Spencer that it was his turn. At the same time, the door to the dressing room opened and Melody bounced in, turning to check her hair in the mirror.
Ryan had a choice to make.
Stop fucking with Melody or stop fucking Brendon.
Ryan walked up to Melody, grabbing her hand and instantly parting her lips with his tongue. The two stood, wrapped in each other's arms for a few seconds before they broke apart, and Ryan turned back to Brendon, who was standing across the room, staring angrily.
"I'm gonna take a shower back at the hotel room. See you later, Bren."
Ryan smiled and decided that he was going to start fucking Melody and start fucking with Brendon.
Brendon wasn't the only one who loved the thrill of control.
Though he was the only person made sexier by desperation.
But Ryan hadn't yet had his chance to be desperate.