New feelings. Or maybe not so new?
We would spend hours sitting on the floor between the comic books shelves in Mikey's store, drinking coffee and laughing quietly.
We would often return to the doomed park and try to swing on the broken swings or just go for long walks around the city.
During the breaks he would sit closer to where Mikey and I sat and sometimes teach me how to draw or tell me stories from the comic books he forced Mikey into buying him.
And when we did homework together, every touch, every look felt special.
When he reached out to turn a page and brushed against me it sent tingles through all my body,
or when he took the pencil from my grip to write down something I said , my hand would shiver and twitch.
The looks became more significant, it was as though we knew a secret no one else knew.
And in the mornings when we walked to school he would walk on my side now instead on Mikey's.
I don't know if it was intentionall or not but he would often brush my hand while walking, just for split moment at a time but I would feel his warm fingertips from time to time as if an illusion, the contact was so brief it was sometimes hard to decide whether it really happened or I just thought I felt his hand touch mine, it made me smile.
When I smiled I turned my face from Mikey so he wouldn't see my smile, and when I did it, I could see from the corner of my eye Gerard smile as well, just a little smile. Half a smile but a smile, and it would make everything look brighter.
But all those old-new feeling didn't make being around him uncomfortable or awkward, it made things exciting and wonderful.
When I wasn't with Gerard or around him, which happened rarely nowadays, I would think of him. In a boring class I found myself day dreaming about him, about the things he said the day before or how many times he touched my hand on the way to school.
At night before I fell asleep I would see his image on the dark ceiling and remember everything he said or done during that day.
When I had a bad day at school or at home he would just say one word or whisper my name in the special tone which was reserved for me, and look at me with eyes full of...something I didn't quite know how to name but it made me feel better, alive.
Better than alive, it made me happy.
Without anyone noticing he turned from just Mikey's brother to someone special.
But the change didn't go unnoticed.
I felt Mikey study my face, "Sky do you like, like like my brother or like, like really like?".
I blushed while we giggled about his unique phrasing.
I felt confused, I didn't know how to answer this. Do I like him or just thankful for being there for me?.
Of course I liked Gerard as a friend but all these years I never took the time to explore my blushing patterns around him or the stomach flips I was feeling often.
Was it really liking him?.
He's Mikey's brother and a dear friend and that's it.
I don't know.
When I was younger I thought of him as my secret crush, something that would never happen, someone untouchable. Like the crushes on movie stars or rock gods, so it lasted for a month or two and then I started hanging out with them and became really comfortable with him so I thought I was over my crush but now it no longer felt like a crush. It felt unique, it felt fantastic, it felt real.
I gave Mikey the pile of Cd's he had to organize on a stand and shrugged.
I didn't know what to answer him, I didn't even know what to answer myself.
I avoided his look and instead busied myself organizing the next pile.
I saw him smirk, he can smirk all he want. All I knew right then that Gerard made me feel like no one before, we can leave the labelling of this feeling for later.
I tried to keep the cheesiness level down to a minimum. Hope you like it, reviews would be much appreciated as always.
Oh and look out for the next chapters, I'm really excited about them!!