Categories > Anime/Manga > Pokemon

Who Wants To Be...a Mewlonaire?!

by Deja_Vu 2 Reviews

"Who Wants To Be a Millionaire," Pokémon-style.

Category: Pokemon - Rating: G - Genres: Humor - Characters: Mewtwo, Other - Published: 2005/10/23 - Updated: 2005/10/24 - 2117 words - Complete

Who Wants To Be...a Mewlonaire!
Disclaimer: I don't own Pokémon, but this story is mine.




[Go fish,] Pikachu sighed.

[Don't tempt me,] Squirtle joined his minute murine companion in sighing.

[Pikachu,] Bulbasaur said warningly. [For the last time, this is "/Hearts/," not "Go Fish."]

[Achoo!] Charizard sneezed, catching the cards on fire. He gave a sheepish yawn, [Oops.]

Pikachu shrugged, [I was getting tired of Poker anyway.]

[/Go fish/!] Bulbasaur shouted, a little confused.

[No thanks, I'm not hungry,] Pikachu replied.

[/Urgh/! You're /impossible/!] Bulbasaur stomped off.

[What's his problem?] Pikachu asked.

Squirtle shrugged, [Got me.]

[Wanna play tag?] Pikachu asked hopefully.

[No,] Squirtle replied sullenly. [You always win.]

[How about we go to the Kanto Derby and bet on a couple of Rapidash?] Charizard suggested.

[Too hot,] Pikachu shook his head.

[Playing solitaire till dawn, with a deck of fifty-one,] Squirtle started singing. He hummed a few phrases he couldn't remember the words to and then started singing again, [...Captain Kangaroo....Now don't tell me...there's nothin' ta do....]

[I know, I know!] Pikachu exclaimed. [How about we do a Pokéversion of "Who Wants to be a Millionaire"!?]

[But who would be the host?] Charizard asked doubtfully.

There was a sudden poof of air behind them, and a voice spoke in their minds. Mew answered, ignoring the first question. With a bright flash of light, Mew had Teleported them to the gym.

The gym was decorated in blues, whites, and pinks, which were, of course, the colors that Mew himself bore. Surprisingly enough, Mew now had on blue pants and a blue jacket, both of which matched his eyes (his tail stuck out in a hole at the back), a white dress shirt underneath, and a very long pink tie that trailed down to the floor from his seat in the air.

There was a surprisingly large crowd, full of humans and various Pokemon. They were all yelling nonsense loudly and happily.

Mew's airseat was right next to a small table with a solid chair across from him, and he had a microphone on the table next to him. "Mew mew mew mew, mew mew mew mew!" his tiny high-pitched voice came over the speakers.

All of the humans and several of the Pokemon merely looked at him uncomprehendingly. Mew put on a quizzical look and tapped the microphone.

One of the members of the sound crew immediately fixed the problem, pushing the TRANSLATE button with a sheepish grin.

Mew cleared his throat, and a loud, low, booming voice came over the speakers. "Hello, I'm Mew, and welcome to...'Who Wants to Be...A Mewlonaire!'"

The fans immediately started cheering, stomping, applauding, and generally flailing about, even louder than before. Mew put on a fake patient smile, waiting for it to subside.

It didn't.

His impatience finally got the better of him, and he shouted into the speaker, "/Quiet/!"

Evidently the crickets didn't hear him, so he shouted again. The bugs quickly realized the error of their ways, and scrammed from the building. Psychic Pokemon may be weak against Bug Pokemon, but regular bugs didn't stand a chance.

"Ahem," Mew smiled innocently. "Here's our first quick-paws decider:

Rank these Pokemon in Number Order:
A.) Aipom
B.) Stantler
C.) Jumpluff
D.) Chinchou."

Various clips from "Pokemon: The First Movie" played, and then the results came in.

Mew looked down at his screen. "The order of is...D. Chinchou, C. Jumpluff, A. Aipom, and B. Stantler. Our fastest quick-pawsee was..." Mew muttered, "-surprise surprise," then loudly stated, "-Mewtwo!"

This name produced a wide variety of reactions from the spectators, as well as the wanna-be-participants. Pikachu and his fellows booed and hissed (several audience members joined in) because Mewtwo was Psychic, and answers were easy for him to come by.

Mewtwo strutted up triumphantly and attempted to sit down. Alas, his tail got in the way, so he settled with an air seat.

"Erm....Welcome, Mewtwo," Mew nodded at him. "So...do you have any family members here with you?"

Mewtwo nodded, and projected his answer into everyone's minds,

An incredibly strange-looking Mew waved back. She had dark red lipstick on, bright pink cheeks, long black eyelashes, bright blue eyeshadow, gold hoops on her ears, a tight blue dress, a pink bow on her tail, and, to complete the ensemble, huge pink heels (to match her huge feet). She had to continuously pluck her two squirming kids (a very strange-looking cross between Mew and Mewtwo) back down in their seats.

Mew widened his eyes at Mewtwo's choice of wife and murmured, "The TV guys aren't gonna like the 'speak-in-mind' thing that Mewtwo has going on...." Loudly, he said, "Our first question is:

Which of these Pokemon is weak against fire?
A.) Shuckle
B.) Forretress
C.) Ekans
D.) Haunter."

Evenly, Mewtwo replied,
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