Kayli makes a huge decision
He sees everything in black and white
Never let nobody see him cry
I don't let nobody see me wishing he was mine
Kayli looked back at Pete as she slipped her pants on, her heart beating a mile a minute. His eyes were closed with a satisfied smile, now was the perfect chance. She quickly scooped her other belongings off the floor then ran out the door, shutting it softly behind her. She got to the small bathroom and sat down behind the closed door putting her head in her lap. How did she just let that happen? She thought back to the sex and it sent shivers up her spine. She just had mind blowing sex with a total stranger, and was now running the risk of losing her job if he told anyone. Her only option was to pretend that it never happened or else she might completely snap. She put the rest of her clothes on and looked around carefully for Pete, but saw no one and escaped to her bunk, shutting the curtain, only to stare at the space above her.
The next day, Pete felt anxious, an anxious he hadn't felt in a long time. Everytime he caught a glimpse of Kayli, he felt his pulse race and his face flush. He felt like a five year old with his first crush. Kayli, however, was giving him the cold shoulder; she hasn't even glanced at him all day. Pete was sitting in a chair backstage, his Sidekick on silent. He didn't feel like being distracted, his mind was too busy and he wasn't focused on anything but the sensations he had felt the previous night.
"What's up?!" Dirty said from behind Pete. He jumped then turned to offer a smile, before turning his attention back to watching Kayli struggle with some wires. Dirty followed Pete's eyes to see what he was looking at. "Ah, the new girl. Dude, she's pretty hot, I'd tap it." Pete rolled his eyes.
"I'm still amazed sometimes that you are in a committed relationship, dude," he said. Dirty laughed.
"Chill, bro. It's all in good fun...but seriously, I'd still tap it," he said, walking away. Pete smiled to himself, sort of wishing he could tell someone, anyone about what happened between him and Kayli.
Pete watched another week slip by, and still, Kayli hadn't said barely a word to him and he wondered why it was so hard to speak to her. She just made him a giant ball of nerves, every time he felt like he could just open up and say something to her, the words just dissolved on his tongue and he could think of nothing to say. All the words were cheesy and disappointing.
Kayli deliberately avoided Pete's gaze for an entire week, not for any other reason except that she knew if she let their eyes meet, she would fall completely back into his arms, and that was exactly what she didn't want to happen ever again. She couldn't afford to blow this tour. She began noticing that Pete would stare at her for a while when he thought she couldn't tell or when no one else was looking, which forced her not to want the situation to progress even more.
A few days later, Pete had finally given up hope that Kayli was going to come around without a fight. He decided to let it go. To stop staring at her longingly and to give her the cold shoulder back. It was his way of seeing if she was really ignoring him because she really did hate him, or if she was just playing a game.
To Kayli, the night she slept with Pete began to feel like a dream, or rather, she was hoping it was a dream. The tour continued and as Pete began to stare at her less and began to ignore her more, she found herself wishing he would go back to pining over her. She could deny to everyone but herself how she really felt about Pete and she wanted him in the worst way, but she also liked her pride.
Pete was sitting up again one night, this time getting nostalgic on himself and wondering what happened to the old him. He just didn't feel right anymore, it was making him sad whne he realized he had lost touch with Peter Wentz and was just now the man in the band who everyone had an opinion about.
Kayli found herself missing home, she wanted to sleep in her own bed again, she forgot how lonely she got on the road, even thought she was constantly surrounded by people. Suddenly overcome by anxiety, she stood and walked to the front of the bus, flinging the door open in search of air, she suddenly felt overwhelmingly claustrophobic and needed more space then the bus was providing her.
Pete sat up straight, startled out of his uncomfortable sleep by the sound of a door opening. He watched with knitted eyebrows as Kayli came in, taking deep breaths and pacing. She kept pacing and Pete found himself getting worried, so he stood up and walked to her, placing his hands on her shoulders. She jumped and whirled around to face him.
"Don't touch me!" she yelled at him, pushing his hands away from her. Pete stepped back, surprised by her tone.
"Kayli, what's wrong?" he said. He had been hysterical before and could see her on the very verge of breaking point.
"I need air. I can't stay on this bus anymore, Pete. I just can't. I want to go home, I'm not having fun anymore," she said, continuing her pacing. Pete didn't know what to say, he had been ignoring her for the past two weeks, he hadn't been paying any attention to whether or not she was still enjoying the tour.
"Kayli, you need to sit and breathe, you're only freaking yourself out by pacing like this. Just sit, okay?" He said, gently taking her by the hand and sitting her down on the couch. She turned to look at him, the sincerity in his eyes was substantial and she took a few deep breathes as she kept their eyes locked. She couldn't tear away. Something in her brain was warning her to look away, but she couldn't, she didn't want to either. She had never noticed how his eyes got dewy when he was concerned, he looked like a worried puppy and she wanted to fall back into him completely. She didn't want to fight it anymore.
"Pete..." she said, watching his eyes soften as she said his name. Then she lurched forward and placed her lips strongly on his. Pete relaxed himself and pulled her closer, he knew she was done with her game. "I'm sorry," she said, quickly pulling her body away from his and walking away. Pete ran his fingers through his hair,
"Kayli?" he said, standing and following close behind her. She turned to face him again, his eyes covered in confusion which caused Kayli to sigh deeply, looking down at her feet.
"I won't lie to you or to myself anymore, I want to be with you, Pete, I really do. I just don't think I have what it takes. Being with you scares me. I've seen what people have said about the other girls you've been with, I just don't think I have the skin for it." Pete couldn't help but smile a little after her confession, but he needed to concentrate on shaking her fear...then it occurred to him.
"Then let's not tell anyone. No one. The only people that will know are you and me. I really think you could be my missing pieces, I can't explain it but I felt it the other night. I want us to stay pure and untouched by any judgment from anyone." Kayli peered at him, completely bewildered.
"How is that going to work? Someone is bound to find out when we are together so much."
"Not if we don't change. If we keep things just the way they are now. No one will know, and I want to try us. Please. Let's just try." Kayli felt her eyes search Pete's hard. He was really serious about this, but would he, of all people, plan on keeping anything like this a secret.
"Pete, if I'm with you, I want to be with you. I don't want to have to sneak around and pretend like I don't even know you like I do now. I want to be proud of us, and not telling anyone is just going to make me crazy." Pete shook his head.
"Kayli, I want to be with you too, but people talk too much about me. I don't want you getting hurt and I don't want people trying to interfere with our relationship. I'm dedicated to making this thing work. Please." Kayli sighed, but looked back at Pete's gaze. She placed her hand on the side of his neck and pulled his face to hers, softly kissing him. They stayed locked in a soft kiss for a few minutes, Pete placed his hands on her hips and rubbed gently at her waist, carefully pulling them together. Kayli felt her heart flutter at his gentle touch and she carefully broke the embrace.
"If you think it will work, I'll try anything if it means we can share more moments like these." Pete smiled and kissed her again, pulling her into a hug and nuzzling his face into her neck, inhaling deeply.
"I only want there to be moments like these," he whispered. Kayli tightened her grip around his shoulders, breathing in his cologne and smiling to herself. They both needed to forget about everything they left at home, and carry on with each other. Kayli could feel something real deep in her body, something she had been trying to ignore so hard for weeks, but here and now, she couldn't imagine how she had repressed it for so long.
"Come on," Pete said quickly, breaking their hug and grabbing her hand, pulling her into the back room with him. Once inside Pete quickly pulled Kayli to his lap and kissed along her neck and she wasted no time, dragging his shirt away and yanking his pants open. He easily lifted her tank top over her head and tossed her bra away, showering her chest and stomach with kissed as she stood, allowing him to wriggle out of his jeans. Pete laid her down on the couch, running his hand over the inside of her thighs before removing her shorts. Kayli spread her legs quickly, helping to guide Pete to her, tossing her head back as he penetrated her. She lazily draped her arms over his shoulders as he started thrusting in and out, moaning her name quietly, lavishing anything he could touch with kisses.
Kayli felt her body heat rise and let her heart tell her this time that it was real. She let her soul melt into Pete's and they both snapped their eyes open, staring at each other as their orgasms crashed down on each sensation they felt coursing through their systems. Pete relaxed himself, letting his body cover hers, wrapping his arm around her back and cuddling into her, his heart beating in time with hers. They knew better then to fall asleep with her, but their bodies were urging them to do nothing more...
My god, if I could only say,
"I'm holding every breath for you"