(#) WynonaKing90 2007-04-18okay...when authors are kinda having a 'block' it can be really obvious. i have made a list of ideas (you don't have to use them. You may if you wish, though):
1. have gerard get another girl. (competition is always exciting)
2. make frank and gerard have a little fling cause of a drunken night (the rest of what happens speaks for it'sself).
3. even gets pregnant.
okay...there is my sucky list. you may be able to get stuff out of that to make the story a little more exciting.
the story idea is REALLY good, i just think you need some drama. also, STOP MAKING GERARD SO FUCKING NICE! it makes the story less interesting. honestly, i was expecting gerard to be a little stubborn after the way even treated him.
anyways...im not trying to dictate your story, if that what you got out of this.
just some sugestions.
LOVE YOUR STORY TO DEATH, AND IF YOU STOP WRITTING I WILL BE VERY MAD.
(#) jerseygirlxx 2007-04-19I'm still reading-actually Ive been waiting on the update! You have a good story so far. The ideas good, very orginal. Yeah the last two chaps were kinda-well I wouldnt say bad- but not they werent as good. I think the most important thing you can do now is decide how you want it to end. (Wait that didnt come off right!) I mean decide where you want your characters to be when the story ends. G &E togehter and F alone? F kills E? G kills F? E runs away? I dunno-its your story. Deciding how you want it to end now will give you a direction to write in otherwise youre just gonna have E&F going around in circles with G watching with no resolution. So my advice is decide on the end first. (Hey even the black parade starts at 'the end'.) (lol-that was lame I know!) Also try this site. Its about abuse cycles. (http://www.drirene.com/cyclesof.htm)
It may give you some ideas about how she can get out or how things like this happen.
keep writing the story though-dont give up!-xoxo
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