Just another 'Ranma falls into a different spring at Jusenkyo' story... with a twist.
A Ranma Â½ Spamfic
Disclaimer: The characters and situations used in this one-shot spamfic are not the property of Avis de Rapina. Bird of Prey is using said characters without the permission of Rumiko Takahashi; much as she is using AdR's account without his knowledge. Due to the nature of this story, reader discretion is advised.
A rainy day in Nerima.
The sound of running feet splashing through the puddles.
A one-sided argument..."I'm going back to China! Suck on that, old man!" ...terminated via Streetsign-no-jutsu.
A family discussion in the Tendo-ke... "I've never met him." ... interrupted by guests. "You're scaring 'em spitless!"
This is the beginning of many (almost too many) a Ranma Â½ divergence or AU story.
Well why not follow the established pattern and see where this goes? Cue Soun and Nabiki's discovery of Ranma's mammalian attributes; Akane's offer of friendship and a quick match in the dojo; a teary reunion of old friends; an interrupted bath; a classic introductory line, "Saotome Ranma desu... Sumimasen"; a demonstration of the curses; and finally, a narration of the fateful events of two weeks prior.
Psshhhh! "So. When doused with hot water you return to your human form."
"Well, it needn't quite be THAT hot."
"When doused with cold water, you become a girl; but hot..." Soun's voice trailed off. His intended plan to pour the nearly boiling hot water on the boy-turned-girl was interrupted by the disturbing gleam in the eyes of his intended target. Said eyes that wandered appraisingly over his own gi-clad frame. For a critical few seconds, he froze.
Genma was initially too busy wringing the too hot water out of his gi and the kerchief that covered his bald pate to pay attention to Ranma as Soun proceeded to return his cursed son back into his birth form. The ominous silence that followed Soun's preamble alerted him to the fact that Ranma was now in girl form in the presence of two males.
Kami, not again!
It had been a rough two weeks. After that initial scene in the Jusenkyo Guide's hut, he had taken pains to ensure that Ranma was changed back to his male form BEFORE he himself transformed. The primitive conditions of their trip back through the backwoods of China was aggravated by the frequent unseasonable monsoon storms. They had been chased out of most of the villages and towns that they had passed through. And not always by that Amazon Shampoo, who was seeking revenge for the tournament outcome and for what Ranma was discovered to have done to her boyfriend and father prior to their entry to the village. With a sick feeling he realized that Ranma's earlier anger over being thrown into the koi pond was the only thing that had kept him... HER... from noticing the presence of both Soun and himself prior to his two most recent exposures to cold water.
It had been a chore keeping the boy's girl form angry while in the presence of males. The need for constant vigilance was getting to him. He desperately needed to get the boy married in a hurry. Getting him laid was the only thing that he could think of to get rid of the boy's cursed form's unnatural inclinations. Kami, knows he's tried his best. But each time they hit a town large enough to have a red light district, either Ranma's female form appeared to cause havoc among the clientele, or else the Amazon anticipated their destination.
The Tendos were his last hope. They had everything he needed: A roof to keep out of the rain with. Hot water in copious abundance. Food and lodging to allow them to recuperate. And three unmarried daughters, a marriage pact, and no immediate male relations in residence. He rather doubted that Soun would allow Ranma to become intimate with any of his daughters before marriage; but he had no idea of where to find either the Kuonji or Daikoku girls. Yes, the Tendos would do very well. If... he can keep the other aspects of the boy's curse from becoming known.
Genma made to strike; unfortunately the preceding reminiscence had taken too long. Ranma-chan was in position and anticipating his actions. Boom!
The Tendos flinched as the petite redhead lifted their dining room table off of her father's near-comatose form.
"Whaaat? He had that coming!"
They blink-blinked as she then laid Genma out on the floor, divested him of his gi, and posed him with one hand behind his head and the other on his hip.
Whoosh! A red and black blur breezed through the room turning off the lights; lighting scented candles along the walls; scattering flower petals; and depositing a confused Soun Tendo, with an armful of massage oils, in the seiza position beside a now groaning Genma while music played in the background.
"You're his best friend, aren't you?"
A hesitant nod.
"You've trained together for years under the same master, shared good times and bad, and pledged your fortunes and honor to each other; haven't you?"
A less hesitant but rather interrogative nod.
"Can't you see that he's hurt and in need of assistance? ...of brotherhood? ...companionship?"
A gentle look came to the Tendo patriarch's face. "Saotome-ku..."
"Can't you see that he's missed you? Can't you see that he wants to be with you?"
Dawning horror came to faces of three of the Tendos as the Village People started singing 'YMCA'.
"Can't you tell that he needs you? For kami's sake, man. What kind of friend are you to deny him that love in this his hour of need as he lies wounded and vulnerable before you?!"
"Ranma-kun? Wha-- What kind of spring did you fall into at Jusenkyo?"
"The Spring of Drowned Yaoi Fan-Girl, Kasumi. Why?"
"Yes! Now I have somebody to spend my time with!"