Ranma-chan meets Rumiko and Kenta! And it doesn't get off to a roaring start. What's an aquatransexual to do when you meet strange new people? Why, you greet them and say... "Tendo Ranko da. Su...
(A Ranma Â½ - Sexy Losers Crossover)
by avis de rapina
Disclaimer: Umm. Better check back later. I still haven't come up with a gimmick for these disclaimer thingies. But just in case you're seriously thinking of suing me... I don't even own the car I'm driving. It's my wife's-- my mother-in-law's.
Summary: Ranma-chan meets Rumiko and Kenta! And it doesn't get off to a roaring start. What's an aquatransexual to do when you meet strange new people? Why, you greet them and say...
/"Tendo Ranko da. Sumimasen..."/
Kenta stopped performing CPR as soon as he heard the pig-tailed redhead cough. At least he thought he was performing CPR. He stared in surprise at his hands which, instead of being placed one-over-the-other on the lower half of the girl's breastbone, were spread open side-by-side encompassing her full, firm, female attributes. His fingers twitched as his horrified gaze met her confused eyes, unwittingly squeezing her breasts and suddenly focusing her eyes on his.
Oh crap! Now she thinks I'm a pervert! He thought. Kami, she's hot; and from what I felt, she's all natural... And she must think I'm a pervert! Crap! And I've heard so much about 'survivor-sex' too. /This is so unfair!/ He wailed. I save some hot girl's life and now she won't have hot 'survivor-sex' with me because she thinks I'm a pervert!
He cringed as he heard her clear her throat. He was sure that the first thing out of her mouth would be an expletive directed at him.
Rumiko was startled by the redheaded, pig-tailed girl's question. She only had one son; she would definitely have remembered being pregnant, much less giving birth a second time. There was no way this girl could be her daughter.
Perhaps she's just confused as a result of her accident? Rumiko thought. /That has to be it. The poor girl must be suffering from a concussion. It is our... my responsibility to nurse her until she recovers or until her family comes to claim her/. Oddly enough, the thought of sending the girl to a hospital or of calling out for a doctor never entered her mind.
The first thing to do, she planned, is to get her inside then dry her off. Yes, those wet clothes will definitely have to go. I wonder, should I have her wear the Catwoman or the Poison Ivy costume? It's been too long since Wonder Woman got to lasso a villainess.
She smiled as she made up her mind. Yes, I definitely have to get the poor girl inside. My bed has to be a more comfortable place to nurse an invalid than this wet floor...
"Don't worry, deary," she cooed. "Mommy's going to take good care of you."
Kenta was worried by that smile. The last time he saw it was just before Rumiko fucked his last girlfriend Natsuki's brains out, literally.
No! I won't let her seduce another hot chick... Not before I do! I must do something fast. Once she gets her claws on her, she'll end up just like Natsuki. I must save the hot redhead... THEN we can have survivor-sex!
Searching for any way to stop his perve-- to ensure the girl's recovery, his eyes finally took in her face. She looked somewhat familiar...
"Mom? Doesn't she kinda look like you and Aunt Nodoka did in those pictures from when you were teenagers?"
"...you and Aunt Nodoka did in those pictures from when you were teenagers?"
Ranma-chan reeled when she heard the pervert say that.
'Mom'... 'Aunt Nodoka'... Crap! Does Momma have a sister? Did Momma's sister just kiss me? Did she just kiss me and stick her tongue in my mouth... and did I just like it? Crap! Is that pervert my cousin?
Ranma was in a quandary. He had always led a lonely life; what few friends he made were quickly left behind as he and Genma made their way through the training trip. What with only his father for a constant companion and the open road for an address, he had always envied his peers who had stable homes and a loving family environment. The Tendo-ke had been his first real home in years, and the Tendos the closest thing to a family that he could remember.
Discovering that his mother not only still lived but was searching for him had kindled a spark of hope that maybe, just maybe he too could enjoy some little bit of normalcy in his life. Of course, that spark had been smothered by the revelation of the seppuku contract. It had been extinguished when his mother explained why she always carried a katana. Discovering new relatives - who were far more perverted than Akane had ever accused him of being - buried that smothered, extinguished spark under a metric ton of asbestos.
Kami, don't I have any NORMAL people in my family?
Rumiko placed her plans for a Bat Girl - Poison Ivy cosplay scene on pause. She examined the girl before her.
Could it be? She DOES look a little like No-chan did when she was fifteen. A little bigger in the bust than she did then; bigger even than I did then. But she's shorter than either of us was at fifteen, and she looks closer to sixteen.
She couldn't be Nodoka's daughter. I may not have spoken with her in eleven years, not since she let that no-good husband of hers take little Ranma on that 'trip', but there's no way she could have a daughter that looks this old in that time. Unless... Could it be that Genma left Nodoka because she was having an affair? There was that year we lived in Canada when Ranma was three years old. Genma had taken him on his first training trip then. Nodoka never really explained why she couldn't come over to spend Golden Week with us.
"Who are you, dear? Do you by chance know a Nodoka Saotome? Are you related to her somehow? She might be using her maiden name, Shibata. She's my sister. My name is Rumiko Shibata and this is my son Kentaro."
Oh crap! They ARE my relatives. The kami must really hate me.
"Ah, my name is Ran-- ko! I am Ranko Tendo. Sorry about this. I'm not related to any Nodoka Saotome."
Ranma-chan quickly got to her feet. She brushed-off their insistence that she stay and rest until she fully recovered. After quickly getting her bearings, she leapt to the top of the property wall, the roof of the neighboring house, then out of sight.
Rumiko and Kenta blink-blinked in wonder at the redhea-- at Ranko's awesome display of strength, of grace, of youthful vigor... of her fantastic ass. Wet silk clearly revealed that either she had forgotten to wear underclothing that morning, or that she preferred thongs.
Concerns about her possible parentage were erased by one thought shared by mother and son: She WILL be mine!
A/N: Well, it looks like I'm going to continue this for a bit. I need a break from those long chapters in tDiMT, and drabbles like these are easier. This takes place before vol 37 of the manga which is when Nodoka learns of Ranko's identity. A cookie goes to the first SL fan to spot the (deliberate) mistake above re the Shibata family.