Categories > TV > Doctor Who > Immortal2 Reviews
"He was strong. He would bounce back. At least, that's what Rose kept telling herself. Any minute now he would break into a huge grin, tell her it was all a joke and pull her into a big hug." My re...
Author's Note: This is an angsty regeneration fic, so tissues at the ready please. This is brought to you by Evanescence being played on repeat on my mp3 player.
Prologue: "People die, but real love lasts forever"
"There must be something I can do?" she'd asked him, biting back the tears as she looked upon him. He looked so vulnerable, so pale and in so much pain. She couldn't bear seeing him like that. It wasn't how she wanted to remember him. He was strong. He would bounce back. At least, that's what Rose kept telling herself. Any minute now he would break into a huge grin, tell her it was all a joke and pull her into a big hug.
"No," he said, his voice raspy. "Nothing."
A tear dripped down Rose's nose and onto the Doctor's hand. The Doctor, with the little strength he had, squeezed her hand three times. It was a special gesture that he and Rose shared. It represented what he couldn't find the strength to say out loud.
"You can't die on me," pleaded Rose. "You died once. You can't do it again."
"Oh yes I can. In fact this'll be about the ninth time that this as happened," the Doctor said. He'd never told Rose about how he could regenerate. He'd always planned to, but now on his deathbed he had to tell her about it before it happened, and the subsequent consequences afterwards.
"Don't joke," said Rose, not believing that he really had died more than once.
The Doctor gripped Rose's hand, using it to keep his current incarnation anchored to life for a few minutes longer.
"I'm going to die, Rose,"
"Don't say that ..." interrupted Rose.
"Listen to me very carefully," the Doctor said. "I'm going to die, Rose, but I'm going to come back. One of the pros about being a Time Lord is that we have the ability to regenerate." Rose's eyes lit up with hope. The Doctor continued before she got any false conceptions, "I won't be in this body though. I'll come back in another form. Do you understand?" Rose stared at him dumbly, not sure what to make of this. "Do you understand me, Rose?"
Rose nodded silently, gripping his hand, not wanting to let go. He was going to change physically. It took a moment for that to sink in. "I understand," she said. Rose mulled over this briefly. He'd die and come back in another form, but he'd still be himself, wouldn't he?
"I might be a bit confused for a bit. Sometimes I get a bit of amnesia following a regeneration," he continued, bursting the bubble.
"You'll remember me, won't you? You'll remember what we are to each other?" She dared to ask, not sure if she wanted to know the answer to this question. What if he didn't remember her, or what they meant to each other? It would break her heart to know that he was still alive in some form, but would have no memory of her or of them.
"I can't promise you anything, Rose," the Doctor answered sadly. "I'm sorry, but I can't. I can't predict what I'm going to be like. I can't guarantee that I'll feel the same way."
Rose burst into tears. "So am I losing you then? Only this will be worse than death. You'll be there in front of me, hidden inside another body with no memory of how much I love you."
"Rose, when I die, I want you to leave the room," the Doctor said, changing the subject.
"Why?" she asked through her tears. "Why won't you answer my questions?"
"Just promise me!" said the Doctor. As much as ignoring her pleas hurt him emotionally, it was important to him that she didn't see him regenerate. It would be too much for her to handle.
Rose nodded. As upset as she was at him for his negligence of her questions, she would obey his wishes. "I promise."
The Doctor gave her a weak smile. He knew that she would keep her promises, his honest Rose. He couldn't answer her questions in return though. He wanted nothing more than to promise her that they could go on with their lives as they had before, but he wouldn't make a promise to her that he couldn't keep.
The Doctor lifted Rose's hand to his lips and kissed it softly. "One more kiss ..." he said softly. Rose could see the sparkle that was so radiant in his blue eyes was fading. She leant over him, drinking in as much of him as she could, committing it to her memory forever. She lowered her lips to his and shared with him their last kiss. They parted and Rose looked down at him, stroking his cheek. She could feel him growing colder and colder. Her breathing began more and more erratic as she put her hand on his chest and felt the beat of his hearts slow. She took one more glance of his face, just in time to see him mouth the words that he had had never been able to voice, "Love you."
His eyes closed. His body was dead.
Rose wept profusely. She gently kissed the Doctor's lips and forehead, gazing at her lover one last time. Reluctantly, she stood and left the room as she had been instructed to.
A few minutes later, after wandering through the corridors of the TARDIS in somewhat of a stupor, Rose found herself curled up in a little ball on the floor in the main control room. Her arms were draped across her knees and her forehead rested against them as she sobbed her heart out. The tears wouldn't stop, seeping out of her eyes like blood from a wound. It was a wound that would never heal, she was certain of it.
The Doctor, her Doctor, was dead.