Categories > Original > Humor7 Reviews
1st-person PoV of one of the most annoying, weird people I have ever met.
My name is Chad Ryan Orehowsky. I'm 14, in the 8th grade, and very unpopular. But I don't care about that. I don't care what anyone says about my hair, or my face, or my smell, or the large pimple that I've had on the side of my nose since the 1st grade.
Chadman. No, that's too clichÃ©. I'm sorry; I think that that deserves an explanation. I've been trying to come up with a cool nickname for myself, but I'm having some trouble. I'm sure I'll think up a cool one eventually. Some of the kids at school call me Chadwick, but I don't like that one very much.
Anyway, it's 7:00; time to get ready for school. I wake up at six, and I watch my special tapes of Sailor Moon until seven. I don't tell anyone about those, but when my friend Harris used to sleep over we would watch them together in the mornings.
Let's see; what day is it? Tuesday. Okay. That's important, because I need to know what day it is so I know if I have to take a shower. I only take showers on Fridays. After breakfast, I'm going to have to brush my teeth though.
I made a face. I hate brushing my teeth. I only do it every three days, in the mornings.
I had oatmeal for breakfast, packed up my backpack, and then got on the school bus.
The Silver Chad. No, takes too long to say.
I saw Christina, getting her stuff out of the locker next to mine. She's very pretty, and she's one of the only people who's nice to me.
But if I got anywhere near her, tried to talk to her too much or something, her boyfriend Sean would kick my pudgy little butt. He's one of the people who calls me Chadwick. He hates me; I hate him.
Anyway, I ignored that fact for the moment. I was going to 1st period, which is one of my favorite times of the day. I get to sit next to Alex, my special friend.
Alex is almost three hundred pounds, and is several inches over 6 feet tall. I sometimes teasingly call him my bouncy little cushion, but only when nobody can hear us.
In 1st period, our teacher's name is Mr. Lucchetti. He's got some of the sexiest hair I have ever seen. And his breath is sweet from the cigarettes he spends long hours dragging on. He's a bit of a novice when it comes at girls' boobs, though; they always know when he's doing it. That is an art that I have almost perfected; I am very rarely caught.
Anyway, after 1st Period World History was over, I went to 2nd Period Algebra. I spent most of the class annoying Mr. Bengier, harassing Danielle, and amusing myself with games on my Game Boy Color. Also, I was having an argument with some people who I knew were right about what they were yelling at me about. You see, I came to school wearing a shirt with a hole in the back of the left shoulder on it. People noticed, and I pretended not to know about it. That really wound up some people, especially Ashleigh. I love it when she gets angry. It's so . . . hot! Alex doesn't have this class with me.
Next came 3rd Period Spanish. I answered several questions wrongly in front of the class, much to their delight. Then I took my calculator and my pencil and fighting them, just like on Power Rangers. I made cool crashing noises with my mouth when they hit each other.
After that fun was over, I went to 4th Period English. We had a pop quiz, and luckily my teacher didn't catch me cheating. Ashleigh did, though; I really love making her mad.
Then we went to lunch. I sat at my usual table, with a lot of my friends who I can really relate to. After I was done eating, I sat there, next to Alex, talking to him about nothing while I put my hand in between his thighs. He's so warm, and soft, and comfortable with all of that flesh of his. And he's got such a nice, hairy chest. . .
Emperor Chad. No, I don't want to make it sound like I think I'm the leader of my friends, (even though I am) because that would make them mad.
Anyway, I then went to Orchestra, where I played beautiful music on my violin. Sean and the other cellist Kevin were yelling at me a lot, but I didn't really understand what they were saying. They were using a lot of words that I don't understand, and a lot of people were laughing. The teacher kept giving them looks, but she laughed once or twice too.
The Renowned Artist Formally Known As Chadworth. No, there's still the problem of taking too long to say. Gosh, I liked that one.
Next came P.E. I saw Ben (one of the other guys) changing in the locker room, and I totally got a boner. I think he saw it, too; I hoped he liked it. I also got to see Alex changing, with those breasts of his swinging. So hot.
We played softball. I must have looked so cool when I came up to bat. I sauntered up, very showily, ignoring the people yelling at me to hurry up. I swung the bat at the ball, and even though all three swings were strikes, I at least looked like a Major-Leaguer doing it, right?
HercuChad. No, too macho.
Next came Science, the last period of the day. I had fun sitting around playing with my calculator and waiting for Jackson (a smart kid) and Choi (also a smart kid) to finish the worksheet so I could copy off of them. We've got the smartest table in the whole class, and I'm their leader. I amaze myself with my awesomeness.
Optimus Chad. No.
I went home, and then I did my homework without really paying attention to what I was writing.
You know, I'm so smart, why do I have such bad grades? And why do teachers hate me so much? Oh well.
Professor Chad. No, that makes me sound like a nerd.
After homework, I played with my Star Trek action figures for a while. I made Captain Kirk and Spock fall in love. That is some hot stuff. I wish action figures were like Barbie Dolls, so that I could undress them. Oh well.
After my playtime, I had some cheese for dinner.
Then I called Alex Blair, and we talked for like, 3 hours. We connect so well. That's why I love him so much. But, you know, I sometimes miss the way Harris would cuddle with Alex and me at our sleepovers. He was so warm. . .
Anyway, it's time for bedtime now. It's 8:00 now. Maybe I'll touch myself and think about Harris for a while, but . . . No, I'm too tired.
Well, now you've experienced a day in my life. I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did. Have a nice day.
Chadzilla. Oh yeah.
Hope you liked it, everybody. R&R.