Ben took the crumpled paper that was clutched in his hand. He sat on the kitchen table, pushing the grocery bags to one side. He set the paper on the table and passed his passed his big hand on top of it, flattening the wrinkles in it.
He stared at Alice's almost illegibly tight handwriting in pink ink that covered the black heart-coated piece of notebook paper. As he read he could hear Alice's voice in his head, the way she would pronounce every word, the short pauses and the longer ones she'd make. The way she would emphasize one word, and the slower fashion in which she had gotten to articulate certain words...
"You know, I never thought it'd be so difficult giving her up.
As soon as I was in labour I was thinking something like 'I don't give a shit, they can even kill her, I really don't care'.
I'm not sure that's what I really felt...
Hell, who am I kidding?
I was pretty damn sure that was exactly how I /wasn't/ feeling. I was kidding myself.
...Just as I tried to fool myself a moment before.
But after I saw her face I was in love.
I mean, she was beautiful.
I never thought something covered in several and equally disgusting types of body fluids could be so flawless.
But she was.
And after I saw her I knew how I was going to name her.
Elizabeth just floated instantly into my disturbed mind.
But I can't turn back now; I already signed all of those shitty papers. Changing my mind is worth a lot of money, money I don't have access to right now...
'Cause I'm not stupid.
I know that no one will give a recovering drug addict access to such eye-widening amounts of money. They would all think it would be for drugs...and if I said it is to have my daughter back they'd say 'no' anyway, tell me that I'm not fit to care for a daughter.
They'd give me the same brainwashing talk they gave me that time, the one that influenced in my decision to give her up.
Good Lord, why did I give her up?
Bert sat in the couch, uncomfortably looking at his feet.
"So..." He said, shifting his feet from their position.
"I really liked the new cd, by the way" Kamz said, smiling at Bert. He raised his eyes to meet hers and returned the smile.
"You know what my favourite part is in the whole cd? At the end of 'Smother me'! 'Quesa....dilla. Quesadilla' I loved that. So goddamn hilarious." She commented, Bert laughing alongside her.
"yeah, I love that too" Bert said. They're laugh stopped as they heard the doorbell ring. Kamz sat straight instantly and lifted herself from her seat, "I'll open it..." She uttered, almost dramatically. Bert raised an eyebrow quizzically as she went to the door and greeted Gerard. As soon as Bert heard Gerard's swift Jersey accent his head flipped to where the door was placed. He stared hard their way and his jaw almost dropped as Gerard entered the living room.
They both shrugged when their eyes met, brows furrowing and teeth clenching instantly. The brutal exchange of words was about to start but in that moment Ben entered the room.
"Hey guys... "He said rather awkwardly. "Please sit down..." He said, as he followed his own request. "I'm fine" They said in unison, giving each other nasty glares.
"I do think it's better if you sit down..."Kamz said reassuringly. They reluctantly accepted and sat as far apart from each other on the couch. Ben's mouth was about to open when the doorbell rang once more.
"Oh shit, I didn't think they'd make it..." Pete said, going to the door.
"/More people?/" Bert mumbled under his breath. Gerard grunted: he hated when Bert voiced his own thoughts out loud.
Daniel and Allison walked in. They didn't seem too surprised of staring at Bert and Gerard sitting on the couch at opposing ends. Daniel groaned and sat by Pete's side on one of the cushioned wooden kitchen chairs, dragging one for Allison as well.
"What the hell son?" Bert snapped incredulously.
"If you didn't insist on keeping shit away from me I wouldn't need to skip school..." He replied curtly, arranging the cushion on top of the chair before sitting.
"You /skipped/?!" Bert hollered back.
"I really don't think that's what you should be worrying about, Bert" Kamz said, leaning forward and placing a hand on top of Bert's trying her best to sound comprehensive.
"Oh really, what's more important than having my son lie to me, skip school and somehow drag his girlfriend's butt (without her mother's consent, I'm sure) and his own from Utah to /Vegas/? Oh God, Daniel, please tell me you didn't take Jepha's joke seriously and you two prostituted your way over here!" Bert cried in preoccupation turning to Daniel very seriously indeed. The other tried to muffle out laughs with their hands.
"Of course not..." Daniel denied the statement with a lopsided grin on his face.
"I'm sure I can top that..." Ben declare slowly, taking a huge gulp before saying "Honey, you can come in now"