the secret slowly leaks, our leads feel the pressure
And in the night we'll wish this never ends
Wish the never ends
Kayli sighed as she watched Pete's cab disappear, these past few months had been so hard on them and completely tested their every will, she was honestly surprised when Pete told her last night that he still wanted to get married, she wasn't even sure they were working out anymore, but she knew she loved Pete intensely, and that was enough for her.
She turned her back on her new husband, walking alone to the other bus that she was living in along with Patrick and Andy and a few of the mellow crew members. She was a little mad that it had to be this way, their ceremony went too fast and all she wanted was to spend the first night of the rest of her life by her husband's side. Suddenly feeling more abandoned then she would've liked, Kayli sought refuge in another place.
Sighing heavily, she took the silver band off of her finger and also placed it delicately around her neck. Clinging to it, she gently pulled back the curtains on Patrick's bunk. He put his hand to his eyes and rubbed them, slowly opening them to see Kayli's troubled eyes looking back.
"Hey," he said groggily, "what's going on?" Kayli gestured if she could come in, to which Patrick nodded. Gratefully, Kayli hopped up into the bunk, getting herself comfortable on his chest. She sighed heavily once again, causing Patrick to squeeze her shoulder.
"What to talk about it?" Patrick asked, causing Kayli to shrug, unsure if she should share her secret with him. It wasn't that she didn't trust Patrick, because out of everyone on the whole tour, she knew that she could trust him the most.
"What I'm about to tell you, no one knows except my mother and one other person and you have to make me believe that you won't tell a soul, and I mean it," she said, sitting up on her elbows on her stomach, looking at Patrick. He turned his head to her and nodded slowly, wondering what the big secret was. Kayli reached into her t-shirt and pulled out the chain around her neck and the silver band glinted softly in the dim light.
"Pete and I...we just got married," she said, her tone soft. Patrick felt his eyes widen unexpectedly.
"You just...what...?...I didn't even know you guys talked to each other," he said finally. Kayli blushed and nodded her head.
"I know, we are good at the secret, huh?"
"How has this been working? I've never even seen you guys talk, let alone expect that you've married each other."
"We've actually been dating since January, crazy I know."
"Wow...is eight months really enough time to know whether or not you want to spend your life with someone?"
"Patrick, you of all people should know that when you find that person, you just know," she said, referring to his only girlfriend that he refused to let go of, in hopes that everything would turn out the way he had always planned and dreamed. He nodded slowly, before staring at the ring hanging from Kayli's neck.
"You know, it doesn't seem very Pete-like to just get married. I've never really known him to be that good at permanent commitment."
"Yeah, I was surprised too, but he asked me to marry him and I said yes, despite all of my reservations about marrying some rock star whom I kind of work for. But now...I mean, we JUST got married about an hour ago, why am I alone?" she asked rhetorically. Patrick reached up and rubbed her arm, thinking hard to himself. Now he really felt like the only person in the world who didn't have anyone. He truly was alone for the rest of his life, it seemed. He was more tortured by the fact that he and Kayli had become really close within the past few weeks and he was hoping it would go further, but once again, Pete had the upper hand. It almost felt as though he was beginning to do it all on purpose.
"I have to admit, this news is a little disappointing. I mean, you were one of the few girls on our crew and totally available and now it's almost like I wont even be able to talk to you without Pete glaring over my shoulder at all of my actions toward you."
"Don't even tell me you were starting to crush on me! Patrick..." Kayli replied, groaning. She watched his face turn a light shade of pink at her revelation.
"I'm sorry. It's just...you've been one of the few girls I've been talking to, it was just one of those random things you sort of hope may happen sometime, eventually, possibly...forget it," he replied, pulling the sheets up over his head. Kayli felt bad for a moment, but even knowing that other guys in her life found her appealing, she was married now, and she wouldn't change that for the world. "I'm sorry, but I do understand what you mean. It seems pretty unfair of him to keep you shadowed like this...so that whole Ashlee Simpson thing?"
"Totally fraud. Smoke and mirrors, Pete's favorite."
"Wow...so what now? Are you going to move in together? How do you guys plan continuing to live like this?" Kayli merely shrugged in response. Honestly, she wasn't sure how it was possible that they could continue to hide their relationship from the world, it seemed likely to her that someone was bound to find out that Pete had filed for a marriage license and that questions were going to come up. Suddenly, she had to talk to Pete. Leaning over and giving Patrick a kiss on the cheek, she stood to leave.
"Thanks so much for letting me get this off my mind, it's a huge relief to finally tell someone. You're the best." Patrick nodded and then rolled his eyes, annoyed that he was always the brother type to everyone.
Kayli sat jiggling her leg nervously as the phone rang, feeling the bus gliding down the highway beneath her, heading to their next location.
"Hi," the voice answered softly.
"Pete...I miss you." She heard him sigh sadly on the other end.
"I miss you too," he replied, Kayli noting the slight slur in his words. She was almost dead tired of him abusing his medications, causing him to numb his pain, instead of facing it like he ought to, especially when it came to dealing with her. "I wish I was with you right now, I'm so alone," he continued, his voice sounding like he was about to fall asleep, "I don't know what to do, why am I doing this to myself? I just got married and now I'm fucking alone. Baby, I need you here right now, I can't do this anymore."
"Pete, please, it's okay, I'll see you in morning and in a few weeks we can start our life together."
"It's not soon enough, I can't stop thinking about you and what I'm putting you through, it isn't fair to either of us. I want to quit right now, I just want to be with you."
"No, come on, you'll feel much better in the morning, I promise. Just go to sleep and dream of me, okay? I love you so much." Pete sighed loudly.
"Okay, love you." Kayli quickly hung up the phone. It was almost annoying to her that she was dealing with Pete acting like a child, she wanted the man she fell in love with, not this pod person that took over when he felt down and alone...
Bright and early the next day, Kayli was working hard on getting all of the electrical equipment hooked up and running, going about her day as normal. Patrick arrived early in the afternoon and watched as Kayli and one of her coworkers finalized their work for the day. He couldn't sleep last night, Kayli's confession was weighing on him heavily. How had he not known? It was almost completely obvious now that he knew, Pete and Kayli were both terrible liars. He noticed almost immediately the looks they gave each other and the matching rings around both of their necks was basically a dead giveaway that something was going on, but no one else seemed to notice, or if they did, they hadn't said anything.
Pete sat in his dressing room staring at the wall ahead of him, Kayli had yet to even give him the time of day, their first day as a married couple and they hadn't even so much as locked eyes. He wanted to cry and scream to anyone how he was tearing up inside, how he could feel so alone with his wife so close by and all of his friends within arms reach? He wanted to just run to a microphone and tell everyone to stop what they were doing and yell at the top of his lungs that he was married and in love! ...but he couldn't do that to Kayli, what the fans would say, she didn't deserve that. So, instead, he choose to sit and pine, think and write, it was the only way he knew how to cope, even though deep down he knew there was a better option.
While the opening acts played their set, Kayli searched around for any kind of opening, and kind of hiding place for her Pete to be alone without eyes watching. She had noticed Patrick looking at her all day and now she regretting her decision to confide in him, he was making her feel as though he wasn't all she had thought he was, she always considered him a better make and model of the male species, but it was looking more like he was the same as all of the others. After searching for over an hour, she was able to find a somewhat hidden location, and once she found Pete, he looked more than relieved to see her.
She drug him backwards, away from any eyes and all people into the tiny space that they could call theirs for the next few minutes. He wrapped his arms around her and held her as tight as possible, pressing her back up against the wall and his lips firmly against hers. It felt good and right to be with each other once again, after nearly a whole day of not seeing one another. Pete felt strong and safe for the first time all day, he wanted to stay with her, but he knew their time was precious. With that in mind, Pete wasting no time, placing his kisses on her readily exposed skin, sighing gratefully as Kayli roughly tugged his belt open and pulled his pants down as Pete did the same for her, then Kayli carefully hiked herself up slightly on the table behind her. Reaching down and tossing his shirt off, before pulling hers away, Kayli was able to get that deep skin on skin contact that she had been longing for since the previous evening. Just as quickly as she had gotten their clothes off, Pete entered her with enough force that the table she was sitting on jumped backward slightly, causing Kayli to yell out softly before resting her head on his shoulder, letting him pull her closer both of them feeling all of their tensions course through and out of their bodies in a powerful orgasm.
"Pete! We need you for the meet and greet...where are you?!" Charlie's voice came muffled underneath the door. Sighing sadly, Pete reached down pulling his pants up, and then kissed Kayli gently from her neck to her lips, watching with a smile as she slowly got dressed. Pete leaned forward and rested his forehead on hers
"Duty calls," he said softly, kissing her lips once more.
"I know. Can we see each other later?" she asked, hoping to be able to sleep soundly in his arms, she just wanted one night to be able to sleep comfortably in her husband's embrace.
"I hope so..."
"PETE! Where are you? We have to hurry!" Charlie's voice once again called. Kayli hopped down off the table, taking Pete's hand in hers before pulling his face to hers once more.
"I love you, Peter."
"I have to go..." he replied sadly, holding onto her hand until he couldn't anymore, looking at her one last time before walking out into reality...
This sick strange darkness
Comes creeping on so haunting every time
AN: you know the drill, constructive reviews please and thank you.