LAST CHAPTER OMG! Gasping, she drops her comb as her eyes fall on a very skinny sight on her bed. "Ryan," she breathes.
"You okay?" Spencer asks Ryan as they stand just a few yards away from the party, continuously poking his friend in the side with his beloved plastic sword.
"I... I need to go for a walk."
Brendon steps into the restroom as soon as Ryan steps outside, eyes studying Saffron as she openly weeps, glancing up at him briefly as she wipes at her face in frustration.
"I think I fucked up something," she chokes out, sniffing loudly and pushing her hair out of her face. She is too caught up in her own jumbled thoughts to even recall Brendon admitting his feelings for her, feelings she was previously unaware of and could not reciprocate.
"I did, and he did. You didn't," he says simply, "You care about the band more than you think, Blondie," Tentatively he slides an arm around her shaking shoulders, looking surprised as she leans in.
"It means so much to him! And to you, all of course. I don't- I don't want to hold him back, you know?" she whispers, burying her face into his shirt for a moment, arms around his torso, quietly crying.
Brendon gently strokes her head. An embrace is the worst thing she can do to him at the moment, but he knows she does not realize her actions. She looks up at him with a tearstained face, unable to articulate herself for once. Wiping the water from her cheeks, he wants to kiss her, but in his arms she is frail and vulnerable. She could accept it, he realizes, but she will never look at him the same way she looks at Ryan.
The thought is an upsetting one, but he surprisingly realizes... he's fine with it. Brendon, instead, plants a kiss on her forehead. "He's making a big mistake, letting you go," he mutters.
"Thank you, Brendon. I hope I can fix this," she says with renewed confidence. "I have to go." She pulls away slowly.
Saffron feels an odd pang in her head and suddenly pulls Brendon into a bear hug, "I'm sorry," she whispers, meaning each syllable, "I am so very sorry." With a quick smile, she kisses his cheek and reenters the party.
Watching her go, he knows for a fact that he will be alright.
Utterly dejected and defeated, Saffron takes a taxi back to her apartment, not prepared to deal with her college roommates tonight.
Saffron nods politely to the doorman, tugging off her pirate bandana, which leaves a harsh indentation in her unruly hair. She watches a glimpse of herself in the shiny door of the elevator, grimacing at the smeared, fading eyeliner. Shuffling into the foyer of her family as the doors slide shut, she says nothing to her parents, who are preparing to leave for Prague on a business trip. Her mother swoops down on her, slender arms embracing the girl while her father quickly ends a phone call to pop instant cookies into the oven. Still, she only puts on a watery smile and thanks them, retreating into her room with the cookies and a glass of milk.
After watching a few late night specials on Cartoon Network and finishing off her pity party snack, Saffron pads into her bathroom for a lengthy shower. During all this, she remains listless, her facial expression as blank as her television screen. She leaves the pirate garb on the floor and remerges in just a striped tanktop and lacy underwear, covered by a terry cloth bathrobe, prepared to search for a clean pair of pajamas. Gasping, she drops her comb as her eyes fall on a very skinny sight on her bed.
"Ryan," she breathes, ready to pull herself into her shell, away from all this. She is not sure if she can face him so soon.
He suddenly cannot take his eyes off her, wanting oh-so-much to kiss her and pull her to him. As silence falls, she slowly makes her way towards Ryan, clutching t he robe tightly around her small frame. "I'm sorry," Ryan says finally, absentmindedly rubbing his makeup away. "I shouldn't have made assumptions."
"I shouldn't have suggested we break up. I didn't want you to be angry because of-"
"Fuck that, Saffron. You would never ruin anything, only inspire," he chuckles almost happily, "Shit, I sound like a stupid eighties movie But you- you're charming and sarcastic and intelligent, and fucking sexy and by far, different than any other girl I've met." He is close to getting the 'And I love you' out, but she's slowly pushing him onto her bed, her knees on each side of him. Ryan feverishly crushes his lips to hers, one hand anchored in her wet curls, the other gently running up her side, his long fingers eventually curling around one side, right on her waist.
Saffron fumbles to unlace his pirate shirt with one hand, the other resting on the curve of his neck. The shirt come off with easy and she trails her fingers up his thin chest, eliciting a moan from the back of his throat. Ryan pushes the robe off her slender shoulders and backs further onto her unmade bed. Standing before him in her mismatched lingerie, she playfully runs a fingernail down his chest ("Fuck, Saffron," he groans) and undoes his trousers, quickly tugging them off before crawling on top of him.
Ryan decides that her lips have been unkissed for too long and snakes and arm around her waist, kissing her long and heatedly, tugging off her tanktop, nimble fingers undoing her bra clasp. He flips her so that he is on top. "Are you- do you-?" he manages to mumble into her graceful neck. There is no fucking way Ryan can stop, but this is Saffron and he'll respect her decision either way. "I brought- I have-"
She replies with a "yes," smiling as he pulls out a little package from the pocket of his discarded pants, setting it on her nightstand. Ryan traces circles down her torso as Saffron arches into him. Looking at her with renewed admiration, he hooks his thumbs over the edge of her underwear, leaning into whisper, "You are so beautiful- Jesus, I can't help but recite clichÃ©s around you, but you're my- my beautiful-"
Saffron smiles and kisses him softly, letting those be the last words spoken for a while.
Later, he wraps his arms around her, sneaking his hands under her thin tanktop. He kisses her shoulder before she turns and nestles her body into his chest. After silence, he chuckles and asks, "I guess you're taking me back after our five hour breakup."
"I- no," she mumbles sleepily, her arm breath tickling his neck. "Why would I do such a thing?"
Ryan laughs tiredly, rubbing her shoulders, kissing the top of her head. "I love you."
Saffron flees that peculiar tug at her heartstrings and smiles though he can't see. "I love you too, so damn much." She shimmies her way up so that they are eye to eye, running her hand through his adorably messy hair, resting her hand on the back of his neck. "I've - well, I can tell you that I've never, I don't know, 'fallen' for anyone so quickly, or at all, for that matter," she admits, almost bashfully.
"When I'm with someone, I leap in quickly and try to scramble my way out when I get in too deep, but you-" Ryan adds quickly, "I know- there's just- Fuck, I can't explain it, but there is something different when I'm with you." He is pissed that he cannot sound quiet so poetic, feeling the need to impress her with words. However, she beams at him before nestling herself right under his chin, her skin warm against his. It's a perfect fit.
Panic! at the Disco Blog
Hello, lasses and lads. Sorry for the major lack of updates.
Thanks to all the fans who came out to support us at the Halloween concert... er, two months ago. I'd say it was a swash-buckling good time and I can tell you for sure that Ryan certainly had a good time because he didn't get back to the hotel until 10 am.
What? I didn't say anything.
To give you a heads up, we should be heading out to California for a party hosted by our second favorite music magazine.
I hope you know what this means, winkwink.
Note Well, that means that my other story can be counted as a sequel now.
Oh, goodness, I'm terribly sad that this is over. Was the ending alright? I'll be honest- I have never ended a fic EVER. Anyway, I'll let all of that... sink in, lol. Love you all and, again, many thanks!
Edit: Oct. 1, 2007- wow, this ending was so abrupt. I'm sorry. :( I might just fix it one of these days.