As I stepped off the tour bus I breathed in the stark, moist spring air of New Jersey. Everyone was escorted to a hotel where we got suites for the night because we were on the bus for almost 5 days. Me and Holly were to share a suite, Derek and Adam shared one then Jake and Tim paired up together to share a suite also.
" Finally some fuckin space!" Holly cried out and she jumped onto the king size bed. I followed not long after her.
" Did you ever listen to My Chemical Romance before? The name keeps popping up in my head for some reason," I said ignoring her earlier remark.
" Yeah they're awesome you'll love em Jay," Holly replied.
" It's too hard for me to live like this Holly. I can't go through living knowing that i'll never be able to love or feel for anyone again. Not after..." I trailed off slowly.
She pushed herself to sit upright on the bed. " Jane, you'll find love again, trust me, and it will never be like him. Believe me that... when I say this, I say this with all my heart, " she paused then continued, " you are worth so much more than what you think you do. You will learn to love again and me and the guys will help you along the way. He was nothing Jane. If he loved you he wouldn't have done what he did."
I got off the bed and walked towards the door then looked over my shoulder and answered, " He was my everything. I'm not worth anything to anyone. I'll never be," without any emotion, I made my way out of the suite, then went to the lobby and outside for some fresh air. Tears were swelling up in my eyes. I'll never love anyone, i'm worth nothing.
" What?" a mysterious voice answered. Shit I said that out loud? " Yes, and you said that out loud too."
"Oh sorry it's nothing," I replied wiping my eyes with my hands.
" Well if you ever need to talk to someone i'm always here. Name's Mikey. Mikey Way," he said putting out his hand for me to shake.
" Jane. Jane Bauler," I answered shaking his hand.
" Oh you're the lead singer from Dead Girl's Diary! I'm bassist for MCR."
" My Chemical Romance? I thought we were going to meet you guys after the show," I said dumbfounded.
He laughed, " Yeah we are i'm just meeting my girlfriend here she's staying here for tonight then comming with us on tour. Her name's Alicia just to let you know." He chuckled.
" Oh okay cool. Well I better get going. Say hi to her and tell her i'm looking forward to meeting her." I replied before walking over to the elevators.
" Sure thingand remember what I told you i'm here if you need to talk! Kick some ass tonight! " I laughed at that then entered an elevator.
He seems nice. But still, what if he finds out. What if they all find out... I started having a panic attack as I entered the hallway.
" Jane! It's okay you're just having another attack. Calm down and it'll stop," Adam said. After about a minute it stopped. I noticed everyone around me once again and some other people who must have heard all the commotion. Derek and Tim told the people that it was alright then they all went back into their rooms.
" You should go ly down for a while before the show and rest," Tim said.
" Okay, I need some rest anyways." I answered. Holly and Jake helped me back into the room and set me on the bed. They fetched me one of the couple bottles of blood I collected on the way through to Jersey. I drank it up then fell asleep.
I woke up to someone shaking me gently. " Janey time to wake up and get ready for the show, " Holly said. I got up, got a shower, put on my white and black striped jamaica shorts, black tank with a red one with thick straps on top of it. I fetched my purple and blue chucks then headed out the door with the others.
Shortly after getting in the rented van we reached the concert site. " Alright you guys have to go for sound check now then to make-up. No one will be opening for you guys tonight because it's the starting show of the tour. Then for about an hour you'll sign autographs and talk to some fans. MCR will meet you guys a bit after that." Tim answered then went off somewhere. We made our way over to sound check. After that was done, we went backstage and got our make-up done. Everyone got basically the same thing. Plain white make-up covering the face, black eyeliner and mascara. I got some black and red eye shadow too.
" I still can't believe we made it this far. But we deserve every bit of it. We put too much of our hearts and souls into this album and this band to let it go to waste. So let's kick this fuckin thing off!" Adam shouted. Everyone cheered. Then we all had a small group hug.
" You guys are on stage in 2, " some tech guy said. We all walked onto the stage.The audience was cheering and whooping. The lights were dimmed so you couldn't see us just yet.
The guitars started up. I breathed in deeply. This is it... The drums kicked in loudly then, fire shot out and the lights went on. The crowed roared loudly.
" Hey all you mother fuckers out there. We are, yours truly, Dead Girl's Diary!" I screamed. The audience went into hysterics. This is what we worked for, this is what we achieved... The intensity on stage was almost dramatic. Then, we started up the first song, Died To Live.
Taking away all fears
Fighting away all my tears
As I climb onto the edge
The beginning nears
This is it, i'm on the ledge now go.. GO... GOOO!
Falling for you
Dying for you
I sing to forgive
I died to live....
As I was singing I saw a pair of hazel eyes glaring at me from the audience. I locked mine with theirs and sang as if I was singing only to them, for them. What are you doing! You're not worth it! Stop fuckin staring at him and continue singing! I gazed out over the rest of the audience. The show was incredible. The band was strong all the way through and never tired. It was like a drug, our drug. Nearing the end, one name was in my head. It came out of nowhere and it wouldn't go away.
*A/N: Hope all of you enjoyed it and comment please! --ChristiexoxÂ¢Â¾
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