Best night ever.
Mainly because I was worried about Mikey.
How could I tell him about Linda without hurting his feeling?
Should I even tell him?
Should I give Linda the benefit of a doubt? People did change..But would I want to test this theory on Mikey's account?
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't tell him what I know?
What if he doesn't believe me?
What if he does and Linda really changed and he would break up with her and wouldn't find anyone he loved ever again?
What if he blame me for losing the love of his life?
What if she's the love of his life and I was being idiot?
And can I even trust Billy after everything Gerard said about him?
Maybe Gerard was right?
But what if he wasn't and Billy was telling the truth?
Why would he lie about it?
To get back at Mikey?
Oh I couldn't sleep, I sat up in the bed and watched Gerard sleep, he had a disturbed look on his face but his breath was steady and a few hairs were in his eyes.
He groaned suddenly and opened his eyes, "What's wrong?".
"I can't sleep", I whined.
I was really tired but the thoughts of Mikey and his Linda kept depriving me of sleep.
"Come here", he stretched his arms.
I placed my head on his chest, "Sing to me".
"Sing to you?", he sounded really sleepy, "OK. Any requests?".
"No", I closed my eyes, I could hear his heart beat and it calmed me down.
"I'll improvise then", he cleared his throat and was silent for a few seconds.
"late dawns and early sunsets, just like my favorite scenes. Umm then holding hands and life was perfect, just like...Umm up on the screen. Lala and the whole time while always giving...Counting your face...hmmm among the living".
He paused to see if I was still awake, I kicked him just to let him know I was, he chuckled.
It was a sweet song, his voice was really sleepy and soft and it felt like a real lullaby.
he stroke my hair gently, "up and down escalators, pennies and colder fountains... Elevator and half price sales, trapped in by all these mountains...Running away and hiding with you, I never thought they'd get me here (he yawned)not knowing you'd change from just one bite...I fought them off just to hold you close and tight".
I was getting really drowsy, what a soothing voice he had.
"But does anyone notice..(Notice what?)But does anybody care(Hmm?)...And if I had the guts to put this to your head (to my head?)...But would anything matter if you're already dead (Wait.. What??)and well should I be shocked now by the last thing you said (What the hell?) before I pull this trigger (Nooo) your eyes vacant and stained (I guess it WAS not really a lullaby)
"Fuck I gotta write this down", I heard Gerard's murmur from far away.
He slide beneath me, put my head back on the pillow and stumbled out of the room.
I drifted away to sleep, dreaming about malls with half price sales and Linda putting a gun to Mikey's head.
Someone screamed and I woke up, Gerard was sitting up in the bed, breathing heavily.
His whole body shivered and his head was buried in his hands.
"Dreams again?", I put my arm around him.
He hugged me really tight, he was sweating.
"What did you dream about?", I whispered, rubbing his back.
He just shook his head and held me closer.
"Ohh Gee. They're just dreams", I whispered.
he didn't say a thing but his breathing began to stabilize.
"Would you like some tea to calm you down", I asked.
He nodded and I got up quickly to get him tea.
Ray was in the kitchen, raiding the fridge in the dark.
I glanced at the clock on the microwave, "Hungry much?".
Ray jumped up, dropping everything he held on the floor.
I switched the light on, Ray was on the floor gathering the stuff he dropped.
I helped him and then put the kettle to boil.
"Why are you up?", he was making a sandwiches for 156 people by the look of it.
"Gerard had nightmares again", I watched him stuff his face.
"You think I should be worried? He keeps having them but won't talk about it", I frowned when Ray dropped one of the sandwiches and then picked it off the floor and shoved it in his mouth.
"Ray, what if you had this best friend and you knew something about the person they were dating. Something bad, but it came from a source you don't really trust. Would you tell your best friend?", I rested my head on my palms, watching his reaction.
He mumbled something with his mouth full of food, I shook my head and frowned.
It took a while for Ray to swallow but he finally did, "Of course I would".
I nodded, "But what if they changed?".
Ray watched me carefully, "Who cares. They have a past and it's my duty to watch my friends back".
We both giggled at the word 'duty'.
"But if I wasn't sure I would snoop around a little and tell them anyway. There's no smoke without fire", he stuffed another sandwich down his throat.
The water boiled and I made Gerard his tea.
"But Gerard isn't cheating on you", Ray raided Mikey's secret-but-not-so-secret cookie place.
"Gerard?", I was puzzled.
"Yeah, that's where you were going with the whole theoretical best friend talk, isn't it?", he pulled out mikey's favorite cookies with a smile on his face.
"I..I..Um...I", I mummbled.
"Well, he isn't. He loves you more than Mikey loves these cookies", Ray stuffed his mouth with cookies.
I smiled and wished him goodnight.
Gerard sat on the edge of the bed with his head still in his hands.
I gave him the tea and sat next to him, rubbing his sweaty back while he drank the tea.
"Talk to me Gee", I whispered gently.
he refused to look at me.
"You would feel better after telling me", I rested my head on his shoulder.
He drank some more tea and sat in silence, I didn't push him to talk.
We sat in silence for a while.
"Everything was smoky, I didn't see anything but it felt so real my eyes burnt and I had a hard time breathing. It chocked me", his voice was husky, "The only thing I saw were flames and it felt as though I'm not going to wake up".
I squeezed his arm to let him know I was there.
"And then I walked through the flames, they were everywhere, burning my face and throat. I could taste them", he drank some more tea, "And then I saw people that I love dying and the flames hid them from me".
"Who was dying?", I whispered.
"You", he avoided my stare.
I smiled, "Honey, it was just a dream. I'm here to stay".
He nodded, gulping the last of the tea and placed the cup on the floor under his feet.
He smiled at me and kissed me.
Then we crawled back to bed.
ok so i'm not really sure about this chapter..tell me what're you think.