Categories > TV > Angel0 Reviews
Written for a challenge of putting the Fang Gang in my hometown.
"Cordelia, please. We are trying to retain some element of surprise in this mission." Wesley chided her. "You are going to scare away this death cult with your shouting. Really now..." He stopped suddenly as he felt his foot press and squish into something soft, warm, and not all together pleasant smelling. His nose wrinkled up in disgust. He tried to wipe his shoe off on the half dead and chewed grass of the grazing field.
Cordelia kept her voice to a low hiss. "I don't know why these death cults can't just stick to L.A. or the Hellmouth. Why did they have to take up residence in bumheck, Arizona?! And why did The Powers have to send me a skull splitting vision of it? This town had a funky smell in the vision, it has a funky smell now."
Angel turned to look at both of them. He was working his jaw muscles and his brow was heavily creased. He was brooding over their childish back and forth. "Because, this town is about forty five minutes away from a very powerful convergence of mystical energies. That is why."
Cordelia merely rolled her eyes at the vampire, who was avoiding the piles of dung among the grass quite nicely. Damn his vampire powers! She wanted that one. The ability to avoid steaming piles. It would come in handy dating in L.A. "Then they should go to this magically convergenty thing and let the people up there take care of it. Oh wait, I remember now." Cordelia added as Angel shot her another look, "it was too expensive up there. Gotcha."
"If you guys don't mind, would like to find this cult, take care of them, and get back someplace where I am not the only brother within a hundred mile radius." Gunn added from his position in the rear. "And some place where the crackers don't carry handguns into the Taco Bell." He said under his breath.
"I don't know how people can live like this. There isn't a mall for two hours. And the nearest movie theater is two screens and thirty minutes away. These people are crazy." Cordelia said once more as they approached a grouping of trailers. "They don't even have paved roads in half the town!"
Angel shot Cordelia another look in the hopes it would quiet her. It seemed to have the opposite affect. Instead she just grinned at Angel.
"Hey, when this is all over, at least you can get some really fresh pig's blood! Like belly up, straight to the hog." Cordelia paused though as she spotted something glowing in the distance to the right of the trailers where the cult was holed up. She broke away from the group, heading towards it. It was calling to her, urging her forward.
"Where the hell is Barbie going now?" Gunn asked, looking to Wesley.
Wesley called out, trying to get her attention as well keep quiet. "Cordelia! CORDELIA!"
She turned around to face the trio of men. "What...I see a beacon of civilization! I didn't believe it but...they have a Starbucks!"