Categories > Anime/Manga > Samurai Champloo > Samurai Chanpon

Samurai Chanpon

by Rekaina 0 Reviews

Mugen has been on his own for a year, and hoping to just fight until he dies, but he is once again dragged into an adventure with two new comrades...except this time they're both males! One is usel...

Category: Samurai Champloo - Rating: PG-13 - Genres: Action/Adventure, Parody - Characters: Mugen - Warnings: [!!] - Published: 2007/06/24 - Updated: 2007/06/24 - 1980 words

SAMURAI...CHANPON!

(Yes, I know its "Champloo" however...it's a NEW SEASON...on my terms)
It had been a year since the last "adventure"...who am I kidding, that was fucking torture not an adventure!

(Fuu: Of course it was an adventure, full of excitement, surprise-!
Mugen: Shut up...
Jin: hmm
Fuu: You jerks...
?: I haven't been introduced yet 'cause I'm that awesome!
Mugen: ...what the hell...? Who are you?
?: I just said I haven't been introduced!
Author: On with the story before someone dies)

Legend

Thinking

"Dialogue"

(Note)

Narrative.

(Jin: hmm)

--- DIVISION LINE BITCH! ---

Mugen lay on to his back and sighed.
He had been traveling around all day, committing a few mercy kills, rudely intruding in on other people's meals, the usual. He yawned and sprawled himself out on the grass outside of the town he had just left awhile ago, he didn't bother making money that day resulting in no money to pay for a place to stay.
Just as Mugen began falling into sleep ...
"State your name." a bland voice asked
"Ah?" He pulled himself upwards glaring in the direction of the voice, "What do ya want?"
"State your name." He repeated
"Don't tell me what to do..." Mugen stood up into a slouch, "I might have to cut that boring little voice box of yours in half if you order me around anymore."
The man gulped but stood his ground. "I'm asking you once more. State. Your. Name."
"Brave little sucker aren't ya?" Mugen smirked; amused, "But, I suppose I'll tell you my name...before I kill you."
The man stared at him, his hand shaking as it rested on his sword hilt which was at his waist.
"Mugen." He muttered as he sliced the man in half.
The body, no split in half, dropped to the ground. Mugen wiped his blade off on the ground.
"I just cleaned it too..." He blinked a couple of times, staring at the body, then walked along the fields edge until he reached the forest. There, amidst the trees, he found a small hollow in a nearby tree to sleep in.
He yawned, stretched, and then slumped down to the ground.

--- DIVISION LINE BITCH! ---

Mugen awoke with a jolt the next morning; apparently the nearby animals were just a bit pissed off at him...
"Damn animals..." Mugen muttered as he walked down a nearby path in the general direction of the next village or town along the road.
He chatted up a few girls as he went but they all ended up going a different way than him. This time, Mugen actually had a place he was heading for rather than his usual aimless wandering.
Truth be told, he had heard about a city state that had imported machines from across the sea, and they were a great way to pass the time and earn money. Money that would be used for women and food considering he is Mugen.
"Excuse me! Everyone, come around and take witness to the skills of the magician of Edo! I have traveled many a mile to show my skill to awe and amaze all of Japan!" A Boy was calling to gather a crowd, and gather he did.
Mugen wandered over on the will of his boredom to the sitting boy.
"If you are amazed or bemused by what you see please put money in the bag!" The boy smiled.
"Just do your trick, boy." Mugen spoke above the crowds talking.
"Of course, sir!" The boy took out a sheet of writing parchment and a single piece of money. "I have never met a single one of you before, correct?"
No one gave response.
"Okay, sir, feel over this parchment; is it special, has any compartments. Anything?" He handed the parchment to a nearby man; he shook his head and handed it back after inspecting it.
"And this piece of money? Anything special?" He passed it to a nearby girl who pulled on the ends; she shyly shook her head and dropped it back into his hand.
"Watch carefully..." The boy placed the coin into the center of the parchment and began folding the paper until it was in the shape of an octagon a little bigger in size than the coin inside, "Pay careful attention..."
He held the piece of folded parchment between his thumbs and forefingers, and tore straight through the sheet, "the coin is gone! And where could it have gone, but..."
He pointed to a woman in the crowd, "In her hair...please undo your hair and run your hands through it"
She did so, and, to her surprise, the same coin dropped to the ground from her brown strands.
Many people clapped and placed a few coins into the bag while the boy bowed; gracious towards the people. Soon, they all dispersed and the boy sat on a nearby bench counting the money.
Mugen approached him.
"Oy, kid...why don't you give me that money...?" He said simply.
"No." He continued to count it practically ignoring the dominant figure standing above him.
Mugen's eye twitched slightly; he then grabbed the hilt of his sword.
"Want to meet my blade?" He smirked.
The boy glared up at him, "Want to meet mine?"
This kid doesn't have a blade...what a baka...anata baka!
"Just 'cause you're a kid doesn't mean a thing to me." He pulled the sword out.
"I'm 19..."
"...ARE YOU KIDDING ME! YOU'RE SO SHORT! HOW DO YOU LIVE WITH YOURSELF?" Mugen burst into laughter.
The boy stood.
"I'm only a few inches shorter than you..." The boy said apathetically.
"..." Mugen immediately shut up, "Didn't look like it when you were sitting..."
"Ah..." The boy mumbled, "Bye-bye!"
"Baka! Where the hell are you going, coward!" Mugen yelled after the boy as he ran with the money and large package.
The boy turned and stuck out his tongue in mockery. Mugen twitched.
"RAAGH!" Mugen immediately broke off into a sprint after the boy.
"Are you goddamn kidding me?" The boys' eyes went wide as saucers.
Mugen pounced up into the air then dropped onto the boy, thus squishing the last bit of dignity he had out.
"Am I dead?"
"No."
"Damn, then that means there really is a smelly old samurai on my back that wants my money for women and gambling." He sunk his head into the ground in defeat.
"Is that what you were going to use the money for?" Mugen noted since those were in fact his intentions when he got the money.
"Of course not! I am not a baka pervert like you..."
"Homo."
"You thieving, idiotic, and un-hygienic bastard." He muttered back at Mugen.
Mugen promptly punch him in the face, grabbed the money and left him sprawled out on the road side.

--- DIVISION LINE BITCH! ---
"This equals...1 ryou! Shit that kid can make money..." Mugen muttered to himself as he finished counting the money in the sac, "He must have saved most of this up..."
He was now in the gambling city in a food shop sitting in a bar seat.
"Sir, what would you like?" The bar attendant asked as she busily made food for other customers.
"Ah, oh...tempura and ramen..." He muttered.
"Right away, sir" The rather plump woman answered.
This place would be much better with a sexy bar tender... Mugen thought to himself as he drummed his fingers on the counter.
--- DIVISION LINE BITCH! ---
Mugen had finished eating and headed to the red light district. (The sneaky bastard)
And...we shant venture further into the lust for pleasure the man was feeling that night...I'll just say...it concluded with him being as broke as he was before he met the boy...oy.

--- DIVISION LINE BITCH! ---

"That bastard..." The boy muttered.
This boy actually has almost no point in the story however, I know a bit of information about his family.
Actually, he is a descendant of Hasekura Tsunenaga, Japan's first official ambassador to the Americas and Europe.
Hasekura's father, Hasekura Tsunenari was indicted for corruption, and he was put to death. His fief was confiscated, and his son should normally have been executed as well.
Date however gave him the opportunity to redeem his honor by placing him in charge of the Embassy to Europe, and soon gave him back his territories as well.
He led a diplomatic mission to New Spain (Mexico) and then Europe.
Although Hasekura's embassy created a favorable impression in Europe, it happened at a time when Japan was moving toward the suppression of Christianity. European monarchs such as the King of Spain thus refused the trade agreements Hasekura had been seeking.
Hasekura returned to Japan and died of illness a year later, his embassy seemingly ending with few results in an increasingly isolationist Japan.
By the way, I am late in introducing myself, but my name is "The Saw" Manzou. An undercover detective recently transferred to Sendai.
Anyways, the boy went off in search of the said "bastard" hoping to slap him across the face a couple hundred times, but nothing much happens so let's skip ahead!

--- DIVISION LINE BITCH! ---

Mugen had moved on, leaving the inn early paying no morning fee that had been mentioned the night before. That is, he left after some "persuasion".
A scream pierced the early morning air, but Mugen waved it off.
Where am I going to-?
Another scream.
I was TRYING to think here...
Another scream.
"Now I'm just going to have to do something about that scream...won't I?"
He arrived at a disturbing scene, or at least it would have been disturbing if it had not been Mugen (dirty bastard)...an unsightly young man was making advances toward a half-naked woman. In response to such advances she was screaming and running as far as she could, and it almost seemed as if his very touch would burn her with the repulsed expression on her face.
"Come on...if you just accept-" He was abruptly smacked in the face with the hilt of a sword.
"What the hell do you think your-" The blade attached to the hilt was at his neck.
"I concur, what the hell do you think you're doing!" He uttered keeping his composure and calm.
"Hold up! I'm the Daimyos son!"
"The Daimyo here has no son."
"Uh...I meant...I'm his nephew!"
"Lies."
"Uh...please don't" the man began to plead.
"Seeing such an ugly man beg is disgusting", he put his sword away, "You may live...never return or do any such acts again or I will hunt you down and kill you, personally."
"Thank you!" The man bowed then ran off whining.
"Heh."
"Thank you so much...may I ask your name?" The woman who had been harassed had gathered herself and calmed down enough to approach the strange young man in front of her.
"No need to-"
"Please?" She gave him a baby-face look
Momentarily, a look of nostalgia came across his face at her expression, but it quickly faded.
A gentile smile danced across his mouth, and the woman caught her breathe as she seemed to be caught in a frozen moment.
Kawaii...he's so...kawaii...
"Ren" He whispered softly, his voice caressed her, "Maybe I'll see your pretty face another time?"
"+Ano...++hai...hai"

--- DIVISION LINE BITCH! ---

About ½ the info from wikipedia
Chanpon: is a Japanese word meaning a mixture of disparate things.
Anata: big/large. In this case "huge idiot"
Sendai: is the capital city of Miyagi Prefecture, Japan, and the largest city in the Tôhoku (northeast) region. The city has a population of one million and is one of Japan's fourteen designated cities. The city was founded in 1600 by the daimyo Date Masamune, and is well known by its nickname, the "City of Trees"
Hai: Equivalent to "yes" or "yes, sir"
Ren: "Lotus" or "Romance/Love"

(Bye, bye now)
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