Categories > Celebrities > Panic! At The Disco > If it looks like I'm laughing, I'm just asking to leave.3 Reviews
I moved across the room and sat down on the couch. My face resting in my hands. How can she hate me?
"I'm really sorry, Ryan." Emily said as Brendon put his hand on my back comfortingly.
"Why does she hate me?" I inquired.
"You want the truth?" Emily asked.
"I want the blatent truth, don't worry about hurting me." I said looking her straight in the eye.
"The truth is that you broke her heart. You're not the first, but you were the worst. While Brendon and I stayed in touch, with calls and visits. "She turned and smiled at Brendon. "You blew her off. You stopped calling, didn't visit or anything. That was terrible and there really is no excuse for that."
I sat there staring at the ground. God I fucked this up so bad.
"I know there's no excuse. I don't even know how I let it happen. I love her so much and I always wanted to call her and visit her, but I really did lose her number. " Brendon suppressed a chuckle. Emily looked at him questioningly. he made a hand motion telling her later. "and when i went to visit her months ago, she was gone." Then something dawned on me. "Why are you guys in Boston anyways?"
She laughed and hit Brendon. "Do you no tell poor Ryan anything?!" She accused, then turned to me. "We all go to college here. When did you try and visit her in Philly?"
Emily nodded. "Yup. We were long gone."
I sighed and sank back into the cushions of the couch, resting my head on the back and looking up at the ceiling.
"Look, I gotta get going." Emily said getting up from the arm rest of the couch where she was seated.
"Ok. I'll see you later?" Brendon asked walking her to the door.
"Yup." They kissed good -bye and Emily left after waving bye to Spence and I.
"Man it sounds like you royally screwed this one." Spence commented.
"Thanks for the support."
I got up and went to my room and laid down on my bed and eventually fell asleep after wallowing in my self pity for a while.
I laid on my bed crying for who knows how long until Meg and Lane came in and sat down on either side of me.
"Babe what happend?" Meg asked soothingly.
"Yeah. We saw Sean march out of here looking pretyt po-ed earlier." Lane added.
I sighed and sat up.
"We saw Ryan at the mall."
"Ryan? You mean the scraggly kid that dated all three of us an-" Meg began.
"No. The other one."
They sat there thinking for a second then their eyes widened at the same moment. "No!" Lane exclaimed, astonished.
I nodded silently, the tears pooling. "Aw Nixy." Meg said pulling me in for a hug. Over the year my name had gone from Rain to Nixy, shortened from Nixybixy.
"What happend?!" Lane asked.
"Well. He tried to blame his fame for not keeping in touch with me then he- he-" My breath caught on the last part and the tears spilled.
"He what? Nick, we need to know!" Lane said.
I pulled me knees to my chest and said quietly into my knees "He said he still loved me."
They sat there in a stunned silence. "He didnt." Lane said.
"Oh man when I get my hands his skinny neck I'll-"
"Meg please. Don't. Not worth it." I said smiling slightly. I loved these girls. They were my life support, but one was missing.
"Hello??!" We heard Emily call from the front door.
"In here!" Meg yelled back.
Emily rushed in. "Wheres Nick-" then she saw me sitting there.
"Nick, I just saw Ryan."
"Yeah me too."
"Oh man. He really messed you up didnt he?"
I nodded into my knees. "He saw me with Sean."
"Oh yeah you never told us what happend with Sean." Meg realized.
"Well, I never told him about dating Ryan."
"Nicole Claire! Are you fucking serious?!" They all seemed to be screaming at me. They all used my full name. Huh..They really are alot alike.
"It never came up...."
"When does something like that come up?! "So Nicky have you dated any famous lyricist/ guitarists?"" Emily mocked.
"Okay okay. I get it. I know I should've told him, but I didnt want him to believe that he was a rebound guy."
"Nixy. Technically he was, no matter what."
"Is that why he was so pissed?"
"Basically. And he accused me of having sex with Ryan after a week. So i told him to get out."
They stayed silent. "Well. Did you?" Lane asked the question on all of their minds.
"Jesus! Why not?!" They all excalimed in various versions.
"I've told you. I'm waiting."
"Wait is that why Sean was so upset? Because he though you had sex with Ryan after a week but still havent had sex with him after 9 months?" Meg guessed.
"I think so."
"You still havent had sex with Sean?" Emily asked.
"Nope. Have you had sex with Brendon?"
"Um....yes..." Emily blushed.
We gawked at her. "Wait a sec." The tears were clearing as I was coming to this realization. "Am I the only virgin in this room?"
They all exchanged glances. "Yup." All three of them nodded simultaneously.
"Fuck." I muttered.
"So are you and Sean over?" Lane asked.
"Um. I'm not sure."
"Then can I ask you something?" Emily asked.
"Would you take Ryan back? He still loves you and wants you more than anything." She looked me seriously in the eyes.
Things just got more complicated. Why is it so hard to be me?
Guys please. I said I wouldnt write while I was away and here I am writing. So I would really appreciate reviews they are seriously lacking. Like seriously. And I know these arent the best chapters but I swear they will get ready.