Categories > Anime/Manga > Saiyuki > Calling Sister Midnight

Omake

by ninhursag 1 Reviews

In which the author is almost killed by her own characters. You know you like omake :)

Category: Saiyuki - Rating: R - Genres: Humor, Parody - Characters: Cho Hakkai, Genjyo Sanzo, Sha Gojyo, Son Goku - Warnings: [?] [X] - Published: 2005/12/02 - Updated: 2005/12/03 - 722 words

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OMAKE

(Or, what happened to the porn? Why is there no porn?)

Tokitoh and Kubota, shower scene:

"Hey, can you see anything?" Shelly asks as she leans forward, squinting into the bathroom. She pops a kernel of popcorn into her mouth and chews.

"No, too much steam," Goku says and tilts his popcorn bag back so it funnels directly into his mouth. "Buthmushmearmum."

"Idiot." Shelly smacks him over the head with her mostly full bag without taking her eyes off the steamfilled shower door.

"I mean, I think I hear something."

"Hear this voyeur scum!" A dark head peers over the shower door holding up a single, clawed middle finger. "You perverts better find something else to do, or the mighty, and also amazingly gorgeous, Tokitoh will-"

A hand closes on his shoulder and pulls him back into the shower.

"You know," Kubota's mild voice is pitched to be just heard over the shower. "I'm not sure about perverts, but they should known that my gun is waterproof."

Shelly just shrugs and doesn't blink when Goku grabs the remains of her popcorn. "Yeah, yeah. This is the worst sex show ever. I'm going to buy cigarettes."

After he's finished the popcorn Goku frowns and leans back toward the shower. "Hey, is it really? Which gun is that?"

The End

Shelly and Tokitoh, (don't ask about the set-up. Just say no to questions about the set up):

Shelly pulled her shirt off and Tokitoh's jaw hit the floor. It was like... like hentai. Bouncier than hentai.

"What the fuck are you staring at?"

"How did they get so... so big? Did you have to install mouths to feed them or something?"
he asked, in utter, eyepopping fascination.

"What? What?"

"I'm serious! Are you the girl they get to do all the porn? You look just like this girl in this magazine that-" Tokitoh never even saw the fist before it connected with his jaw.

The End

Goku and Kubota:

K: "Hmmm... well this is interesting."

G: "No, it isn't."

T: "Hey! Hey! What are you two doing in there?"

G: "Hey, is that Tokitoh?"

K: "Well, it might just be a really, really angry cat, but do you want to take your chances?"

G: "Um. No?"

K: "Always nice to see you, Goku." pause "Hmm... he forgot his pants."

The End

Shelly and Kubota:

S: "This is great and all, but there are IVs in most of my veins."

K: "Hmmm... good point. Maybe we should have tried this earlier?"

T: "Hey, hey! I hear you two in there!!"

S: "You brought a cat to the hospital? Not very sanitary, Kubota-san."

K: "I suppose not."

T: "I can still hear every. damn. word."

K: "Hmm... I suppose I should go."

T: "I'm coming in, in about two seconds! And you'd better not be doing anything perverted."

S: "Yeah, sure, leave a lady hanging. I'm disappointed."

K: "Well, that makes two of us."

T: "It had better not!"

The End

Goku and Tokitoh:

Take One

Tokitoh knocked on Goku's door, with sharp, vicious pounding sounds. When Goku opened it he blinked at the sight of a completely soaked Tokitoh, hair plastered to his skull and skimpy tee shirt almost translucent.

"Hello," Goku murmured, adjusting his faux velvet pajamas. "What can I do for you?" Somewhere in the background the crooning tones of Teddy Pendergrass floated in.

Tokitoh caught his breath, just staring at Goku. He opened his mouth. Shut it. Opened it again. Turned and glared off to the side somewhere.

"Oi! Line?"

Take Two

Tokitoh knocked on Goku's door, with sharp, vicious pounding sounds. When Goku opened it he blinked at the sight of a completely soaked Tokitoh, hair plastered to his skull and skimpy tee shirt almost translucent.

"Hello," Goku murmured, adjusting his faux velvet pajamas. He stared down at his script and frowned, reading the words off syllable by syllable. "Um. What can I do for a pretty kitty like you?" Somewhere in the background the crooning tones of Teddy Pendergrass floated in.

Tokitoh blinked, stared at his script and then at Goku. It took him almost an entire second to slam his fist in Goku's nose and throw the script after him, before slamming the door between them shut.

"OOOOIII! Line!?"

The End in the interest of the writer's survival
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