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We still had time until we had to drive to the last stop on this tour.
I circled the whole mini center and lost Gerard in the process because Frankie distracted me with comic books he wanted me to buy him, I lost Frankie too, intentionally. It was hard for me to say no to him but I refused to spend my money on comic books.
After a while of wondering I finally heard Gerard's voice, he was arguing with Mikey.
I honestly didn't want to listen in but curiosity got the best of me.
"You can't do this to her", Mikey whispered angrily.
"I love her to death! I'm not doing anything to her!", Gerard hissed.
"So you can't wait a while, all of the sudden you have to marry her now!"
"What's the point of waiting?".
"The point", mikey sighed, "The point is I don't want you to use her to cheer yourself up after grandma died"
"I can't believe you just said that!".
"Gerard, don't do it. Think about it, Skyler is fragile, she doesn't deserve you using her".
"I'm not fucking using her, I know and she knows that we'll be together forever".
"So you love her?"
"More than words could say"
"So that's what people you love deserve? A drunken husband and being married just to distract you from Gran's death?".
Gerard didn't say anything, maybe because he fucking bumped into me.
My jaw was hanging open and tears formed in my eyes, "Is that why you are marrying me?".
"Skyler", he moaned, "Told you not to listen to him".
"But is it Gerard?", I hissed.
"Of course not!", he put his hands around my waist, "You know I love you. I want you to be my wife, to be with you forever and a day", he hugged me, whispering in my ear, "Remember? Forever and a day?"
I saw Mikey throw his hands in the air and storm off.
I frowned and mumbled, "Forever and a day".
"Forever and a day, baby", he cradled me in his arms, "Forever and a day".

His arm was around my shoulder when we returned to the van.
Gerard was driving and I sat in the passengers seat.
I cuddled up in the seat, covered with my jacket, I stared out of the window.
I was thinking over the whole thing, it's so unfair!
Why can't I never be just happy, isn't engagement supposed to be a happy event? So why no body's happy? Including me?
I was happy until I heard Mikey, did it made any sense?
Gerard was right, in the back of my mind I knew we would be together forever, I just knew it but I wanted to do it right, to make sure he's doing this because he wants too not because he's depressed.
I don't want to be his anti depressant pill, I don't want to wake up one day and find him bitter because he didn't want to be married.
I would love him to be my husband but it's gotta be right.
Suddenly an image of a white brick house came into my mind, like in these movies of happy family, husband, wife, two happy kids and a dog.
But did I actually want it? I smiled, maybe just Gerard and I and a dog, I love dogs. The kids are SO going to wait.
But did Gerard want it? Does he even like dogs?
I shook my head. I don't know if he likes dogs and I don't know what his political views and I don't know what's his perfect life picture.
I glanced over at him and saw him smile too but he didn't notice me. I didn't know so much about him, like what he was thinking right now, Why did he smile?

"Just for the record, I'm happy for you", Frankie's head appeared between the seats.
"Thanks sunshine", I smiled and kissed him on the cheek.
"Oh please", Bob grunted from the back.
"What's your fucking problem?", Frankie snapped at him.
"You all think marriage is a fucking game and it isn't. You of all people should know it Frank, your parents divorced, do you honestly want to see it happen to your best friends?", Bob's voice was angry but I didn't see his face, I slouched even deeper in my seat and tried to be invisible.
"My parents fell out of love", Frankie argued back.
"And you think that can't happen to them?", Bob said sarcastically.
"I honestly think they have something great here", Frankie raised his voice a little.
"Oh the perfect match, one is a drunken ass and the other is a 5 year old stuck in a 21 years old body with some serious issues", Bob yelled back.
I sneaked a peek at Gerard, he haven't said a thing but he clutched the wheel so hard, his knuckles turned white.
"So what, they love each other, what difference does it make if they're the perfect match or not", Frank exclaimed.
"You're acting like a dick", Bob screamed, "Instead of knocking sense into them you encourage this madness".
"You're the dick, you can't change any one's opinion so you might as well pretend to be happy for them", Frankie said through gritted teeth.
"It's not a fucking fairytale!", Bob sighed, "He's not a prince and she's not a fucking princess. They should figure out their own issues before dragging each other into it and ending up as a divorced couple".
"Are you jealous?", I could hear Frankie smirk.
"Yeah I'm so jealous of people that are about to ruin their fucking lives, yeah you got me there", Bob yelled.
Tears welled up in my eyes, that's not how I pictured my engagement, Gerard saw my miserable face expression and stopped the car, "Will you fucking stop the debate? It's our fucking life", he stormed out of the van and opened the door for me on my side, "Come", he grabbed my hand and pulled me out of the car.

We walked for a while and found a lake, it was more like a puddle but the sign said that it was lake Softsomeshit.
I grabbed a few stones and threw them one by one into the lake/puddle, "Do you even love dogs?".
He laughed, "You're getting cold feet already?".
"There's so much things we don't know about each other", I mumbled.
"I know that I love you and you make me feel sane and it's enough for me", he touched my back with the tips of his fingers.
He was right, I don't give a shit about his political views, "Baby, I want to know we're doing it for the right reasons".
"I want you to be my wife", he pulled me over.
"Listen to me!", I copped his face in my hands, brushing away some hair of his eyes, "I would be here forever, we have all the time in the world, but you gotta do this because it feels right not because you want to numb out some other feeling".
"We're not immortals", he sighed and rested his head on my head, "I don't want to miss out on anything, I want to live with you, I want to grab it all. I'm petrified of dying without you being there"
"But you know I'm here. By your side. Forever and a day. A ring won't make it go away and won't guaranty you anything", I shook him a bit.
"But my grandma died, she left me, without knowing how much I cared, I never got to tell her that. I was always busy with something else, too busy for her. She was never too busy for me but I was for her", his voice was hoarse.
"Gee, see it's all about your lose, it's not about our marriage. You won't lose me. I'm immortal. I'm a vampire actually", I punched him playfully.
"You're not", he pouted.
"I so am", I stood on my tiptoes and bit his neck, "See? Arr".
He smiled, "That's why I love you so much"
"I'm one hot vampire?", I batted my eyelashes.
"You're a dork", he hugged me tightly.
"Oh you're so romantic, you say exactly what every girl wants to hear", I smirked.
"Skyler, I can't tell you enough how I feel about you", he picked me up and spun me around.
"So what do we do now? Bob is right, isn't he?", I smiled. I really really wanted to marry him.
"Break off the engagement?", he bit his lip.
"Gerard, I'm engaged to you in my heart, we don't need a piece of paper to prove anything. You know it'll always be just you and I", I pinched his cheek.
He looked down on his feet, "Promise? Never go away?".
"Pinkie swear!", I stuck out my pinkie to him.
"I'm not doing that", he smiled.
"Fine! Than you have to take my word for it", I trailed my finger down his face.
He nodded, "Do you realize we're the only couple that maneged to get engaged and break it off in matter of a day? Now that's a world record".
"Other couples got nothing on us, babe", I kissed him.
"You right! We're more insane", he licked my lips.
"Totally dude", I hugged him tighter.
I took off the ring and my heart sank to the floor but I did my best not to show him what I felt cause I knew it's the right thing to do, "Here, save it for other time".
He took it from me and stared at it, "You'll get it back someday, my vampire".
"I know", I nodded, "And then it will be right. We better head back to break the news to the guys"
"Let Mikey and Bob sweat a bit, they put me through shit once I told them I was going to propose to you, Mikey through mentally one and Bob through a physically painful one", he frowned.
"Aw and I thought Bob hated me", I giggled.
"Yeah right, they would kill me if I ever hurt their sunshine", he put sunshine in quotation marks with his hands.
"Aw Fwankie poo", I cried.