Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Don't Waste your Time on Me (Next to last chapter!)8 Reviews
The final chapter...
Shifting ever so slightly on the crowded leather couch in the living room of Mikey's small apartment, I felt my pocket to make sure it was still there. Not like it would have evaporated or something, I just got comfort and solace knowing that I could use it when I wanted. Kris was sitting beside me, rubbing my leg soothingly, but her eyes were distant, dazed. She told me she loved me, and had this been a fairytale I would have grabbed her waist as soon as she uttered those three heartfelt words and pulled her into a kiss. But life isn't perfect and my almost-fiancÃ© was now six feet under, her pale body cold and lifeless.
I picked up her hand and set it on her lap out of fear that she might notice it in my pocket. She looked over at me with eyes full of hurt, like someone had stabbed her in the stomach repeatedly but only her eyes showed it. A burning tear made a clear trace down her cheek as she nodded. "It's for the best, then. I guess you're right, it is too soon." She sighed, barely loud enough to be qualified as a whisper. I moved my head forward slightly in a nod and she stood quietly and made her way through the band that was sitting on the floor and couch and whoever that chick was that was hanging all over Mikey, over to the door.
"Well now that that's all over, can we get back to our lives?" Mikey said, sounding rather annoyed. It was obvious that he was referring to the funeral and Ana's death. Those harsh words cut deep. It's not just over all of a sudden, mourning. It's a long, drawn out grieving process. A week is not long enough to get over death.
"It's not that easy." I mumbled, causing looks of shock from everyone on the floor. This was the first time I had spoken since I came back to New Jersey. I wasn't very fond of the immediate attention brought to me so I turned my focus back at the black cast adorning my leg, contrasting with my pale skin.
"What's not that easy, Gee?" Mikey started, his temper rising. "She's dead, okay? Gone, forget about her. Erase her from your memory! End of discussion!" he yelled in my direction.
I cowered, sinking back into the cold, uninviting couch. He got up and came closer to me, stepping around both Bob and Frankie. I could tell there was terror plastered across my face, mixed with the pain and depression that had been dragging down the corners of my lips. I haven't smiled in I don't know how long and I had a feeling deep down in the pit of my stomach that I wouldn't in the rest of my natural born life.
"And just so you know, Gerard, she didn't love you as much as you thought she did!" he yelled, glaring at me. I must have looked confused because he continued. "What? You thought you were the only guy in her life? Sorry to tell you but she told me the same thing. She went through all the same maneuvers with me. Yeah, she told me she loved me too. So get over her and grow up!" he screamed, his eyes burning in rage, and I could actually see him crying.
I shook my head in disbelief and tears blurred my vision as he walked closer to me. It couldn't be true, Ana wouldn't do that to me. I started shaking violently, tears flowing down my face freely as I sobbed in agony. She was the best thing that ever happened to me and I just couldn't believe that, I wouldn't. Just as I started to reach into my pocket, Ray stood up.
"Mikey! Don't you think your brother has been through hell and back already? Then you go and tell him this? What kind of brother are you?" he yelled. This has to be the first time I have ever heard Ray yell. It was surprising, nonetheless. Mikey just stood there, mouth agape. Grabbing the arm of the couch for support, I stumbled over to where Ray and Mikey were now standing inches away from each other's faces.
"Just...stop. Both of you." I sighed and they both turned to look at me. I knew what I had to do next but I was a little hesitant. I doubt anyone expected it and I knew it was the only way to relieve the pain. My trembling hands made their way down to my pocket for the second time.
Ray and Mikey had long since turned their attention away from me, and that gave me the perfect opportunity to pull the Revolver out of my pocket. One bullet, better not waste it. Frankie, who had been watching me suspiciously the whole time, gasped in shock.
"Gerard!?" he said suddenly, getting extremely flustered at the sight of the gun. That, in turn, caused everyone to focus their attention toward me again. My face got flushed and I backed up against the cool gray wall, slowly raising the gun up to my head.
"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Mikey had turned and was now facing me, his eyes boring holes into my mind.
'What does it look like?" I giggle, laughing at his oblivious mind. The giggle turned into a malicious laugh eventually evolving into a sob, muffled by my cold sweaty hand. I really didn't want to do this, but I felt like it was my only way out. I was trapped in a small corner of a dark room and I couldn't get out, couldn't scream.
"Just put the gun down, Gerard. you don't want to do this." Frankie said slowly, looking at me with hopeful eyes, praying that he would persuade me. But what he didn't understand, nobody understood except me, that I couldn't put it down now, as much as I wanted to drop it then and there and curl up in Kristen's arms, letting her rock me to sleep, I was too deeply involved. I traced the trigger with my index finger, feeling the cold, hard metal call me, lure me in.
"I-I've got n-nothing to live for. She's g-gone and she didn't e-even love me. I was going to pr-propose to her." I stuttered. They all looked shocked. Looking back, it seems like so long ago that I gave Kristen the ring, when in reality it had been less than two weeks.
"You have us. Just put it down, Gerard," Frankie repeated, looking terrified.
"Y-you don't know how b-bad I want to..." I stuttered, looking at all of their fearful eyes.
"Then just set it down," Ray said, moving forward a little.
"Yeah, haha, just put it down." I said and began to lower the gun. I could do it, just give that up and find a new way out with all my friends to help me. I guess Mikey thought that what he was doing was for the best when he lunged forward and made a move for the gun before I had a chance to change my mind. But his hand hit the trigger and I heard a shocked scream and the crack of the gun before everything went black. No pain, no second chances. Sometimes, if you wish for it hard enough, death is inevitable in the end...
The End...but the worst has yet to begin...
It's done, so please review and tell me what you think. And by the way, I am wondering if anybody might like a sequel? Let me know when you review. I had so much fun writing this story and reading your reviews! A special thanks to:
Panda (Cynara), clutzy_93, deaths-destruction, Autumn, Ihearttwojacks, laughlikeyoumeanit, Kaitlin, xLOSERSX, cutegirl12345, ijonasbros, rocker4lifeSAM,katie, darkviolet, and lovelikewinter:) for reviewing.