Apparently the kind that would bury us alive...
She sat on her couch, next to Patrick. She was still wearing the hoodie Pete left her. She had it zipped up and the hood pulled up over her head. The TV was on, but Emma wasn't paying attention. She didn't know if Patrick was, but he sure was making a good act of it. She started at the floor, not thinking, not listening, and not really feeling at all. She sighed and she saw a movement out of the corner of her eye and she knew that she had accidentally drawn Patrick's attention to her. She squeezed her eyes shut, not wanting to talk about anything.
He reached over and grabbed her hand, causing her eyes to fly open. She turned her head to look at him and for the first time noticed how tired he looked. She stared at him, worried. She had been so consumed with herself and her problems that she hadn't even bothered to notice that Patrick was running himself ragged. He stared back at her, both waiting for the other to say something. Emma finally spoke and said, "Patrick, what's wrong? Why do you look so exhausted?" He sighed and rubbed his eyes. Emma began to worry, thinking she had completely ignored her best friend and now he was in pain too. He looked at the ceiling and finally spoke. "I'm just running myself to death. Trying to fix everything for everyone. Trying to be there for everyone...It's hard. I have to listen to Pete pour his heart out about you..then I come here and watch you completely shut down and not even talk about it...I'm beginning to wonder if I can handle this..." he quietly said. Emma stared at him, taking his words in. "I'm sorry," she mumbled. He shook his head and said, "No, don't be..." She cut him off, "No, I am sorry. You shouldn't be in this position. You shouldn't have to deal with me and Pete both. Don't worry about me, Patrick. I'll make it out ok. I worry about him though. I don't think he will ever be ok...just take care of him for me, please?" She got up off the couch and slipped the hoodie off. She clung to it and gave it one last hug before she felt her eyes welling up. She dropped the hoodie into Patrick's lap and he stared at her, confused.
She slowly backed away from the couch until her back was against the wall. She felt tears started to come out of her eyes, but she wiped them away as Patrick got up and walked towards her. "Wait, Emma..what are you saying?" he said quietly, holding the hoodie out to her and staring at her. She shook her head and pushed his hands back towards him. "Please...just...I don't need you anymore. I'll be ok. Just take care of him for me. Please. Just...always promise me you'll make sure he is ok..." she murmured. Patrick shook his head. "No, Emma...you're being crazy...I'm not going to forget about you.." he said, reaching out for her. She ducked out of his way and held a hand out to stop him. "No. You're killing yourself here trying to keep us alive. I'm fine. Please...just go. Believe me..." He shook his head and Emma began to get angry. "Just get out. Jesus...I don't fucking need you anymore!" she shouted, storming off to her room and slamming the door. She flung herself down on her bed. She waited for Patrick to follow her, but he never did.
She lay there for an hour, thinking about what had just happened. She had no clue that across town a teary eyed Patrick was showing up to Pete's parent's house, still clutching the hoodie Emma had shoved at him. She didn't know how that little gesture could tear Pete down completely. As she lay in her bed, thinking about everything, she felt strangely relieved.
She knew she could now move on.