Don't waste your time trying to fix what I want to erase, what I need to forget. Don't waste your time on me my friend, friend, what does that even mean? I don't want your hand, you'll only pull me...
It was December 31st, 2005. Emma's 25th birthday. She sighed that morning as she woke up. She stared at the clock. It was noon. She had slowly become a night owl, staying up until 4 am, if not later. She had started writing a lot, just her emotions and feelings. She had also continued painting and her walls were adorned with her paintings. She also spent a lot of time nervously rearranging all the furniture in her apartment. She had so much freetime, she didn't know how to occupy herself. She was afraid to turn the TV, in fear of seeing him. And she was afraid to turn the radio on, in fear of hearing him.
She often found herself out walking late at night. She knew it wasn't safe, but she had learned a long time ago how to take care of herself. She never set out walking anywhere in particular, but her feet always carried her to the same street. The street she grew up on. The street her parents still lived on. The street Pete's parents lived on. She spent many nights standing on the corner, looking down at this house, wondering if he was there. Then, she would realize how late it was and would then sneak into her parent's house and stay the night, waking up earlier enough to slip back out.
That very morning she had found herself out walking again. She had stopped outside of Pete's house and stared up at it. She stared at the window that she knew was the 3rd floor. She knew his room was just inside. She stared at it for so long, she lost track of time. She came crashing back to reality when she heard dogs barking and looked at the house to see the front door opening and someone stepping outside. She panicked and tried to run but was stuck in place. She gulped as she realized it was Pete. She stared at him, walking towards her in the cool, crisp early morning air. She let out a deep breath and tried to smile at him. She suddenly became aware of how cold she was. He stopped a few feet from her, staring at her. She stared back at him, not knowing what to say. Uh, hey I stare at your house just about every night wondering if you ever really did love me? she thought to herself. He finally broke the silence by saying, "Its 3 am and freezing cold. Why are you out walking around by yourself?" he said, crossing his arms across his chest in an attempt to keep warm. She wrapped her arms around herself and stared at him before lamely saying "I couldn't sleep..." He laughed and said, "So you walked all the way to your old neighborhood to stand outside my house and stare at it for like 30 minutes?" She gawked at him. "Was it really that long?" She blurt out. He laughed again. "It was pretty damn close..." he said.
She began to shiver and he stepped closer to her. "Why don't you come inside and warm up, then I'll drive you home?" he said, quietly, taking hold of her arm above her elbow. She began to pull away but then gave in and allowed herself to be led inside his house. They quietly stepped inside and he led her upstairs to his bedroom. She rolled her eyes but followed him anyway. They quietly tiptoed up the stairs. Emma laughed as she thought of how funny the situation was. Here they were, 24 & 26 years old, sneaking around in Pete's parents house. Pete held the door open for her and shut it behind her. She shivered and stood in his room, feeling extremely awkward. He sat down on one of the twin beds and gestured for her to sit down. She shook her head and continued standing. He grabbed a book that it looked like he had been reading before it had been thrown down, and continued reading it. She stood there, staring at him for a second, trying to understand why he was acting like she wasn't even there. She finally got tired of standing and sunk down on the floor. She sat with her legs crossed, Indian style. She continued staring at him.
He finally looked over at her and smiled. She didn't smile back. "I'm warm now," was all she said. He nodded and got up. He slipped a coat on and walked out the door. Her mouth dropped open and she hurriedly got up and followed him. He was acting weird, and he was kinda freaking her out. He was acting as if they never happened. He was acting like they had never been best friends either. She finally caught up to him at the front door where he was waiting for her. She hissed at him "What's your deal?" He shrugged and threw the door open, ushering her out into the cold again. She gasped as she felt the cold nipping at her cheeks, but she ducked her head and followed Pete to his car. She slid in the passengers seat and waited for him to start driving.
They didn't say an entire word the entire way to Emma's apartment. Pete stopped the car and parked. Emma started to get out, thinking he was just going to drop her off and leave. She opened the door and got out and so did he. She stared at him confused. "It's late...I'm not gonna let you walk off into the dark on your own..." he said, walking around to her side. She glared at him. "I do it every night, what makes tonight so much different?" she snapped at him, taking off towards her apartment. She reluctantly listened for his footsteps following her and sure enough, as she hit the steps, she heard him trailing behind her. She stoppped outside her door and waited for him to catch up. He stopped a few feet away and watched her as she unlocked the door. She threw it open and turned to look at it. "Well, goodnight," she said, turning to go inside. "Wait..." he said. She turned back to look at him from inside the doorway. She raised an eyebrow at him. He stared at her for a second and she could tell he was fighting with himself. "Happy birthday..." was all he said before turning and heading down the stairs. She smiled and turned to shut the door. She slowly walked to her room and heard her phone ringing, signaling that she had a text message. She took it out of her pocket and read the text message.
"Sorry about tonight. I'll see you later. I hope you have a great birthday..."
It was from Pete. She stared at it and grew more confused with each passing second.