To him, sex is only a game of lies. Kurogane/Fay
So the first kiss is a fake kiss, inevitably.
There is an immediate aura of uncertainty, and Fay wants to draw back until he is no longer in Kurogane's reach, because there are too many confusing things tied to his expression and he'd rather not risk any more pain, no matter how fleeting. But there is no way out, not when he has already given in long ago, and so he puts on a fake expression and hides behind a fake look of desire.
They are gentle kisses when he kisses back, in spite of Kurogane's impatience. He allows himself to be pushed against the cold floor and inwardly searches the other man for any signs of real affection. He sees something like it, close to it, but not quite what he wanted. Then again, perhaps it is, and Fay just does not understand it yet. Perhaps it seems so blurry because it is fake as well.
Kurogane pulls his shirt over his head and his pants soon follow. Then snag on something - it is dark, and he can't make out what - and soon they hear a loud, tearing sound as the material rips. He cannot say that he cares. And even if he did, his words would not get far, as they would soon be silenced by another fake kiss.
Neither of them never dreamed of ever getting caught up in their own spider web of doubts. For the matter, neither of them ever dreamed of following fake smiles or stealing fake kisses or even drowning themselves in fake passion. Kurogane used to view sex as something sacred, something he never really messed with, because he was too busy and there were too many things to protect and too many memories to wash away. Fay was always indifferent, exposed to it far too early and far too unkindly, never a stranger to touches and gropes and the bitter sensation of biting down on his own tongue to stop his feeble protests.
Maybe they should have found something in each other - something pure, something that would wash away the painful pieces. But instead, their meeting developed a backlash that only resulted in something even more unclean. Kurogane can sense, as he always does, that there is something rippling beneath the surface that is horribly wrong. Fay can feel, in perhaps the same manner, the slow erosion that was eating away at his honestly until there was nothing left but some vague feeling that he had been murdered in his sleep and was never to wake again.
Trapped inside a nightmare.
When it is all at it's peak, Kurogane grasping unto him tightly as the mage's fingernails begin to make bloody crescents into his back, and Fay cries out a name that is not a name, not anybody's name, even as a thousand different hateful faces all flash by in his mind. Kurogane wants to hate him, or hit him, or kiss him, but instead he whispers Fay's own name, an unwilling fake as well: perhaps, in the end, he should have said 'Yuui'
They are spent, Kurogane still holding Fay to him in the stretch of time that followed, as Fay makes small, pained noises in the back of his throat. He questions them, not knowing if he does so out of genuine worry or concern that is fake as well, but Fay just smiles the same fake smile and says that it does not matter.