- Very interesting story with a lot of original ideas (never thought that Epoch or the Time Egg could be made of dreamstone before!). There's a lot of great characterization done here, with both the regular cast, and the extras.
There's a bit of clashing between the original humour of the story (which I giggled insanely over! ^_^) and that later serious feel, but it doesn't take away from your story too much.
The only real problem I have is that the story seems to go too fast. You're introducing a lot of new ideas, and it seems very squished together. Sometimes there are leaps of logic made that I find hard to follow, even after a few re-reads of the section. If you took the time to flesh it out a bit, it would make the story ten times better than it already is.
I loved how you tied things up in the last chapter. Very cute! :)
You really do have a good story here, don't be afraid to take your time in telling it. Thank you for the read!
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