Secrets, junk food, Mikey and I'm not OK...
"I do", Gerard was standing behind me, his hands around my waist, "Now I feel immortal".
I guess we looked strange, I still wore the vail and Gerard wore the suit blazer priest Daniel gave us as a wedding gift.
So there we were on the roof of some building, wearing out wedding clothes and eating junk food we bought at the nearest MacDonald's joint.
The city light were amazing, it wasn't your traditional wedding or wedding night but it felt right.
The city lights winked at me with a promise for a better life, Gerard by my side forever, I'm invincible now.
"So what do we do next?", I lent onto Gerard, he was holding me for dear life, he feared I might fall off, it made me smile.
"What so you mean?", he kissed my ear.
"I mean how we deal with the world, we pissed off so many people", I sighed.
"We don't", he laughed at me for dropping my chip down.
"Say what?", I turned around sharply to look at him, he almost pissed himself, "Fuck", he yelped, "Are you insane?! You come down this second".
"Chill, I'm not going to fall off", I rolled my eyes.
"Skyler, please", he pleaded, pulling me.
"Fine. Party pooper", I mumbled, annoyed. I really liked dangling my legs of there.
Gerard helped me off, he was handling me gently, "So what did you mean earlier, about not handling the world?".
"Let's keep it a secret", he hugged me tight from behind.
"What about the rings?", I frowned.
He didn't say anything for a while, "We'll just say these are promise rings, I'm sure Bob and Mikey have nothing against it".
"But the engagement ring?", I wrapped myself in his open coat, the cold wind blew the shit out of me.
"You can wear it on the dog tag chain when you see Mikey", he shrugged.
"What do you mean when I see Mikey? I kinda live with him", I laughed. Gerard and his ideas.
"Are you serious?", Gerard chuckled in my neck, "You're going to move in with me".
I fell silent, it never accrued to me that I would have to not live with Mikey, it was so natural.
"Skyler, don't tell me you seriously thought you're going to keep living with the guys now that we're married", his chuckle turned into a loud laugh.
"Shut up, I'm still half drunk", I elbowed him in the ribs.
"Yeah Yeah sure", he smirked.
"But where are we going to live?", I wondered.
"Well, Frank moved in with Janet and I'm sure Bob wouldn't mind switching places with you", he snicked his hands under my sweater, they were surprisingly warm.
"That place is too big for just us two", the wind blew the vail into Gerard's face and he was struggling with it without using his hands.
"We don't have time to look for a place, I'm leaving for the tour soon", he finally took one hand out of my sweater and brushed my crazy vail off his face.
"Than what's the point?", I shrugged, "We'll look for a place when you come back"
"You're kidding, right?", he spun me around so I could face him.
"What's the big deal?", I pouted, "You have a month until the motherfucking tour, I prefer spending it with my new husband than looking for a place all over the city, especially when we have a place".
"Because I want to live with my wife", he said slowly, like he's explaining something totally complex to a five year old. Or Frank.
"Come on, move unofficially with me and after you'll finish the tour, we'll find a nice place. It would be our engagement phase".
Gerard looked amused, "You can't turn the order, we're married. We skipped he engagement".
"It's kinda stupid keeping it a secret because we fear our own friends", I shook my head.
"If you please you can tell Mikey in the morning, pass the milk oh and by the way we got married last night. I just don't want to deal with the shit", Gerard was getting annoyed.
"I still can't believe he wasn't there, I would hate us if I was him", I poked the chips around the chip holder thingy.
"He'll pout a little but he'll understand", Gerard took a chip, dipped it in ketchup and stuck it in my mouth, "I mean, the only thing that'll change is us moving in together and it's not like he haven't seen it coming".
I chewed slowly, thinking this over, "You know, it's been quite a while since your gran passed, he was against it cause he thought you're using me to distract yourself..", I trailed off, saying it out loud was like admitting we betrayed Mikey.
"I officially don't want to hear any of this on my wedding night", Gerard tugged on my sweater.
I glanced at him, "We're on a fucking roof, eating fucking junk food, a wail and a suit blazer as out wedding clothes, it's not exactly your traditional wedding".
"So what? I'm happy", he shrugged, flashing me a smile, "Are you going to finish that burger?".
I handed him my half eaten burger, "So..um...You're going to drop me of at my place?".
He froze, "Drop you off at your place? What about the traditional fuck?".
"How romantic", I said sarcastically.
"We have reservation at the finest hotel New York can offer", he kissed my ear and neck gently.
"So, maybe not the finest but only cause they didn't have rooms available", he buried his head in my neck.
"I was wondering", I pulled away so I could see his eyes, I noticed he was still a little drunk, "How come you had the ring tonight?"
"I just forgot to take it out of my coat the last time", he laughed framing my face with his hand.
I cocked my eyebrow, waiting for the real answer.
"Fine", he breathed out, "I was carrying it ever since".
"Why?", I half frowned, half smiled.
"I don't know", he looked down.
"Gee", I insisted softly.
"I really don't know, I mean I was feeling so down these recent years it's not even funny, I was depressed so I drank and then I felt even more depressed so I drank some more and gran was always like a solid rock, I could tell her things I didn't tell anybody else", he noticed my look, "Don't take it personally but she is my gran. So when she died I just needed that ring with me".
"But now it's mine", I sent my fingers combing his ever messy hair.
"I know, it was always yours, it was yours for about 9 years now and gran knew it", he took my hands and kissed them.
"We are about to have a cheesy moment, aren't we?", I made a face.
"It's our wedding day after all", he shrugged.
"I always knew you would be here forever", I admitted, "I just knew".
He bit his lips, I immediately felt alarmed, "What?".
"Nothing", he gave me a my chemical romance front man smile.
"Gerard", I was waiting for an answer.
"promise not to go nuts?", he looked down again.
"I never go nuts", I glared at him, "I'm a reasonable grown female".
We giggled, "Yeah, OK maybe not exactly that but I'm cool".
"I was having thoughts about ending my life at some point in my life not so long ago", he looked like he's about to run for cover but I wasn't shocked. I knew he was suffering and thoughts of suicide weren't new to me, what hurt me most was that he was there.
People who think of suicide don't just think of it, they suffer hugely and it hurt me that I couldn't spare the pain from my Gerard.
"Why didn't you talk to me?", I squeezed him tight.
"How could I?", he sounded surprised, "I knew it would hurt you".
"What changed now?", I still held him.
"You're my wife, you're stuck with me", he said softly. I wasn't sure if he was joking or serious about it.
"Babe, you can always talk me, trust me and I'll be there", I rubbed his back, "But if you ever try something like that I will kill you!".
"So either way I'm dead?", he buried his cold nose in my shoulder.
"Pretty much, I'm serious I'll hunt you down and kill you if you ever try to kill yourself".
"OK", he simply said like I didn't have to do anything but ask.
"Promise?", I shook him slightly, "I don't ever want to lose you".
"I promise", he mumbled, "Well if you wanted honesty that's all you had to say I never want to let you down or have you go, I'm freezing my ass off".
"You're so lame!", I laughed, "Quoting your own fucking songs".
"At least I have songs", he said snottily.
"Whatever dude", I adopted my Mikey tone.
"All you need is glasses and short hair for me to feel I'm talking to Mikey sometimes", he shook his head as we made our way down the stairs to the street.
"I feel so guilty", I moaned.
"Shut up", he squeezed my hand, "Unless you have something really cheerful to say.
Too cheesy? Too uncheesy? Review me!!