fall out groceries.
Lightsabers and chicken sticks go out to:
you're the ones who keep me going.
10: t o f u x c o r e
"Guys, me and Soap are going out," I said, slipping on my shoes. "Ran out of tofu, so pick some up while we're gone."
"Uh huh. Yeah," Pete said, entranced by the TV screen. He and Joe were in a heated battle of DanceDanceRevolution. If you ask me, it looked like a pair of hyperactive monkeys were trying to mosh.
I slipped my hand into Sophie's and headed off the bus.
"Hey Trick, could you grab me a bag of Doritos?" Joe asked, jumping around in front of the television. After 2 hours, he and Pete were still playing DDR.
I peeled myself off the couch and made my way toward the kitchen.
"Joe, we're out of food," I said, opening the pantry.
"What do you mean, 'out of food'? Like, out of the good stuff?"
"No, I mean 'out of food,' as in out of food. There's nothing left."
"You lie. There's gotta be something," he said, pausing the game.
"Oh, here's something." I picked up a can of beets and threw it towards him.
"What the fuck is a beet ?"
"It's a vegetable. Tastes pretty good."
Holding back laughter, Pete handed him a can opener. We sat back as Joe peeled back the top of the can. He grabbed a spoon and dug in.
"Ew, gross!" he said, spitting them out. "What the hell, Patrick?!"
Pete gave me a high five as Joe threw the can into the garbage.
"Looks like we need to go grocery shopping."
Within 15 minutes of arriving at Jewel, we had a cartful of junk food. Approaching the cereal aisle, "This Ain't A Scene" started playing over the store's speakers.
"Ay bay bay, let it play, that's mah song, turn it up!" Pete sang, excitedly.
"Who you think you are, walkin' all up in here singin' that Hurricane Chris?" asked a man in the aisle. He looked like Samuel L. Jackson, but even more intimidating.
"Umm... I'm Pete Wentz... From Fall Out Boy," he said, nervously. "...I wrote this song."
"This ain't a scene, it's a god damned arms race...
"Fall Out Boy?" he asked. "Wait, you guys worked with Kanye for the remix... and that one song with Timbaland."
"Yeah," Pete said, relieved. It looked like a ton of bricks was lifted from his shoulders.
"Aww, you my boy," the guy said, pulling Pete into a handshake-half-hug-shoulder-pat. "My kids love you guys."
He opened his wallet and pulled out a hundred dollar bill.
"Would you guys mind signing this for me?" he asked.
"Oh, no problem," Pete said taking the money and pulling a sharpie out of his pocket. After signing it, he passed it to Joe, who then passed it to me. I signed it, then handed it back to the guy.
"Thanks. I really appreciate it." he tucked the money back into his pocket and grabbed a box of Count Chocula before heading toward the frozen foods.
"Wow. Just... Wow," Joe said.
"When he called you out, the look on your face was priceless."
"I'm glad he was a fan," Pete said. "I t thought he was gonna kick my ass."
Pete grabbed some cereal and tossed it into the cart. Then he zoomed down the aisle, almost crashing into a display of tofu boxes.
"Oh yeah, Andy said to get some tofu," I remembered out loud.
"Which kind?" Pete asked, examining the boxes. "There's soft, firm and extra firm."
"Soft." I took a box and dropped it into the cart.
"What makes you so sure?" Joe asked.
"Well, Andy likes to cuddle. And he has soft skin."
"What the hell? We should get firm," he said, waving a box in front of me. "He has a firm mattress."
"You guys are both wrong," Pete commented. "We should get extra firm because he has an extra firm handshake."
Soap and Andy greeted us as we carried the groceries onto the bus.
"Didja pick up tofu?" Andy asked as we made our way toward the kitchen.
"Yeah," Joe said, handing him the bag.
"Sweet." He took the bag and pulled out the box of extra firm.
"We didn't know which one you wanted, so we got one of each."
"Extra firm?" He asked, puzzled. "This is the hardcore stuff. Lemme guess. Pete picked it out, right?"
Joe and I laughed as Pete looked down, feigning shame.
"Firm," Andy said, picking up another box.
"Ooh, that's my box!" Joe said.
"C'mon, I thought you knew me." He sighed, setting the box aside.
"Soft. Now here's the stuff."
"I told you guys he liked to cuddle!" I exclaimed.
Andy looked at me as if I'd grown a second head. "What?!"
"I'm not gonna ask..." Sophie said, chuckling.
Taking all three boxes, he walked over to the pantry and helped us restock it's shelves.
"Wait a second," he said, puzzled. "Where are my beets?"
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