Categories > Celebrities > Guns n' Roses

The Flamingo Story

by 80shairmetal 5 Reviews

A funny story, i put it under GNR but there's other bands in it, Motley Crue, Poison...

Category: Guns n' Roses - Rating: PG-13 - Genres: Humor - Characters:  - Published: 2007/08/28 - Updated: 2007/08/28 - 3098 words - Complete

Where should I start? Perhaps it would be best to start with Izzy, poor lil Izzy and his run in with Motley Crue. Izzy has been unconscious for awhile now, but when he wakes up he will not be happy to find that he is locked in a closet on the second floor of the Sheraton Hotel. You see it all started when he spotted Vince Neil and Nikki Sixx in the liquor store he had wandered into looking for the other members of his band. Since the liquor store was right next to the hotel they were staying in, he had hoped they would be there. No such luck. As soon as he saw Nikki and Vince, he had turned and walked out. He didn’t notice he was being followed until he reached the side door to the hotel in the alley. (It was closer to his room and besides, rock stars don’t use the main entrance). There he was greeted by the famous Tommy Lee. Izzy turned around only to face Nikki and Vince, Vince was drunk. Nikki was even drunker than you could imagine. And Tommy just liked causing trouble.
“Well, well, well, if it isn’t Izzy Stradlin.” Tommy chuckled.
“Tommy.” Izzy acknowledged.
“Why don’t we have a little talk huh?” Tommy proposed with a sly smile on his face.
“Um, actually, I have to do something right now…” Izzy said glancing around nervously.
“Ha ha! Look at Izzy Straaaaadlin, he’s scaaaaared!” Nikki slurred spilling the rest of his beer on the ground, “Aww, shit man.”
At that moment Izzy flung open the door and started running up the stairs. When he got to the second floor he got off, he ran down the hallway screaming and flailing around. He found a broom closet and decided to hide in it. It was right after he closed the door he realized he locked himself in. He began pounding on the door,
“LET ME OUT!!!!”
The door opened and there he was face to face with Vince Neil. Vince punched him square on the side of his head. Izzy fell back into a pile of brooms among other things, and Tommy closed the door, and everything went black in Izzy’s world. They walked out of the hotel, Vince tending to his hurt hand, Tommy was busy making sure Nikki didn’t pass out, and Nikki was laughing drunkly.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
On the other side of town, Duff was showing Slash the best way to hot wire a car.
“So then, you have to cut the blue wire down here ok Slash? Slash?” The bassist/car theft stood up and looked around for the guitarist. Suddenly there was a screeching of tires, Duff looked over just in time to see Slash dive out of the way of a car. The car swerved, hit the sidewalk, and crashed into a nearby liquor shop, glass shattered everywhere. Duff gasped, Slash came over to him and with a sheepish grin he took a bottle of JD out of his jacket.
“Sorry man, I was thirsty, and I was afraid I was gonna get caught stealing it so I ran out of the store.”
Duff looked at him open-mouthed, grabbed him, and they got into the car Duff had just stolen and sped away. As they were driving Duff glared at Slash and said,
“You can’t even steal a bottle of Jack Daniels and I was gonna let you steal a car?” Just then a voice from the floor of the backseat asked groggily,
“Huh? Where am I?”
Slash and Duff almost jumped a mile. Slash whirled around to face none other then…
“Sebastian Bach?”
“Umm, yea, any idea why you’re in my car?”
Slash and Duff looked at each other.
“Long story.” Slash told Bas.
“Well, shorten it for me.” Bas insisted climbing up to sit in the backseat.
“Umm…ok” Duff started, “Well, um, we kinda needed to get away from where we were because we really didn’t want to get charged with a stolen bottle of Jack Daniels, a stolen car, or cause of a collision.”
Sebastian blinked at them.
“Dude you need a place to crash? You could stay with us.” Slash told Sebastian.
“Well, I was staying with Poison but I don’t know where any of them are and I don’t have a key. That’s why I had to sleep in my car.”
“Oh, well, you’ll get your car back when we get back to our hotel ok?”
Sebastian blinked again, “Ok.”
So they went back to the hotel. They walked in, (I guess Izzy was wrong about the whole “rock stars don’t use the main entrance” thing). The three of them walked up to the second floor, passing by a closet with a still unconscious Izzy in it. When they reached their room they found Steven passed out in the hallway next to the door. Sebastian looked puzzled as Slash and Duff opened the door and dragged Steven into the hotel room as if it was a usual occurrence. When actually in fact it was.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Now the only member of Guns N’ Roses missing was the frontman of the band. He was locked in his depression of life over a drink. Lost in thought until Rikki Rockett came and sat beside him.
“Why so down Axl?”
“No reason.”
“Don’t give me that bullshit I’ve watched you sitting over here for a half an hour.”
“I don’t know, I just don’t know where my band is going you know? I mean, everybody says we’re the hottest shit around, but nobody wants to sign us.”
“I know what you mean. My band was sharing an apartment with Sebastian Bach, but we got kicked out. Bret stormed off, I haven’t seen Bas since yesterday, he doesn’t even know yet.”
“Well, you could crash with us tonight if you’d like.”
“Really? That would be…awesome thanks.”
“Not a problem.”
So they were about to leave as Axl tried to get off his bar stool, fell, and landed on the floor with a thud. Rikki couldn’t help it, he burst out laughing as Axl picked himself up and dusted himself off. At first he glared at Rikki in his fit of laughter, but then he smiled,
“You see the shit that happens to me? And I’m not even drunk!”
They both walked out of the bar laughing.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
So I bet you can guess where Bret had gone off to. It just so happened that he had found a room for his band on the second floor of the Sheraton. He was walking to his room when all of a sudden he heard banging from behind a broom closet.
“PLEASE HELP ME!! SOMEBODY HELP ME! MY HEAD HURTS I NEED AN ASPIRIN…and…and…IT’S DARK IN HERE!!!”
Bret stood puzzled looking at the door that the whiney voice had just come out of. He opened the door and was practically attacked by Izzy who threw his arms around him.
“Oh my god thank you Bret Michaels, you saved my life!”
“Umm…you’re welcome.” He said pulling himself free from Izzy’s grasp.
Just then Axl and Rikki came around the corner laughing. Rikki saw Bret.
“Bret! What are you doing here?”
“I got a room for the band here, have you seen Sebastian?”
Just then they heard the slurred, drunk out of his mind voice of Steven.
“I’ve seen him! He’s right here.” Steven said pointing to a nearby lamp. “There’s a party goin on in heeeeeeeere man, you don’t know WHAT you guys are missin, eh Sebastian,” he said attempting to lean on Sebastian (the lamp)’s shoulder, and of course, fell flat on his face. He rolled over laughing. Axl, Izzy, Bret and Rikki looked at each other. Just then a just as drunk Duff came out of the room. He looked over at Steven and said,
“Steven, what are you doing on the ground you stupid…”
At that moment, Duff’s eyes rolled into the back of his head and he collapsed unconscious on the floor. By then Steven was up off the floor and was using the wall to help him back in the hotel room, only to collapse again. Axl, Bret, and Rikki started trying to get Duff back into the room. Izzy had stepped into the disastrous room looking for an aspirin. Once Duff was safely on the bed, Axl, Bret, and Rikki began to observe the situation. The hotel room was crowded, as you can imagine, with Steven slumped against the wall, Duff passed out in the bed, Slash was in a chair, nobody could tell if he was aware to the situation. He was expressionless under all that hair. C.C. Deville and Bobby Dall were there too, along with Sebastian, who were all sitting around drinking. Bret looked at his band in dismay,
“Come on guys, let’s go back to our room.”
So C.C., Bobby, Rikki and Bret filed out of the hotel room. Bret looked back at Sebastian, who was now standing.
“Umm, can I have my car back Slash?”
“Ungh” Was all Slash had to say at the moment.
“Cool thanks you guys.” And he went after Poison to their hotel room down the hallway. Izzy had found some aspirin so he was feeling much better. He and Axl sat down on the unoccupied bed. The only sober ones looked around at their friends passed out all over the place. It was certainly one hell of a day.
In the middle of the night Slash woke up with a start. He was still a little out of it. He got up and walked to the door of the hotel room, tripping over Steven in the pitch black. He picked himself up off the floor, opened the door and stepped out into the hallway. He immediately screamed because of the bright light, he covered his face with his arms and turned to go back inside just as the door closed. He pulled and tugged at the handle but it was no use, he didn’t have a key. He banged on the door but everyone was out cold in there.
“EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!” Slash screamed.
He ran down the hallway until he got to Poison’s room. He banged on the door. Bret opened the door groggily,
“What the…?”
Slash pushed past him and flopped down on a bed and buried his head in the pillow Bret had previously been using. Bret stood puzzled as he heard Slash’s muffled cries of,
“The light! The liiiiiiight!”
Bret grabbed a pillow from the other side of the bed and fell asleep on the floor.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In the morning, Steven woke up clutching his head,
“Oooooh man, what a trip…”
After a minute or two of moaning and groaning from Steven, Duff woke up with a start,
“Whoa, what a sick dream huh Slash?”
He looked around but Slash was nowhere to be seen.
“AAAAAAAHHHH!!! OH MY GOD IT WASN’T A DREAM!!! IT CAME TRUUUUE!!!”
Duff jumped out of bed screaming, which woke everyone else up. Duff ran to the window and punched it as hard as he could. The glass shattered and Duff yelled out the window,
“SOMEBODY HELP! SLASH HAS BEEN KIDNAPPED BY A GIANT MAN EATING FLAMINGO!!!!!!”
Axl jumped up out of bed and went over to Duff to try to calm him down,
“Dude, dude, calm down man, I’m sure Slash is fine. I’m sure it was just a regular flamingo.”
Duff screamed, “AAAAAAAAAAHHHHH! I GOTTA SAVE HIM!!!”
Before anyone could stop him, or alert him that his hand was bleeding, Duff ran out of the hotel room, ran down the flight of stairs and out the door. Axl stuck his head out of the broken window to see Duff running down the sidewalk yelling and flailing his arms around. Axl turned to Izzy,
“Remind me not to say anything the next time he dreams about giant flamingos.”
Steven looked around,
“Dude aren’t those the pink ones?”
“I think so.”
“Ha ha! We should get Bret one!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Back in Poison’s room, Slash had woken up to screaming outside. He yawned, got up, stepped over Bret, went over and looked out the window, all he could see was the other side of the alley. Which was a brick wall.
“Lovely view,” He muttered to himself.
He looked over to see Rikki and Bobby asleep in a bed, C.C. was on the floor next to the other bed, and Sebastian was sleeping in a chair. Slash liked it in this room, even though it had a shitty view. But it had a good vibe. He settled himself under the window and fell back asleep.
Later, Sebastian woke up. He glanced around, saw Slash, shook his head and got up. He took a look around, he didn’t see Bret anywhere, but he just shrugged and walked out the door. He went up to the top floor of the hotel, which was eight stories up, and found the door to the roof. He went out on the roof and leaned over the guard wall. He took out a pack of cigarettes and was about to take one out when it slipped from his hand and began to fall. Sebastian dove after them. He fell over the wall in his quest to retrieve his cigarettes and would have certainly met his death had he not felt someone pulling him back from behind. Bret pulled Sebastian back up from the wall, Sebastian gave an impish smile and held up his pack of cigarettes.
“Got em.”
Bret laughed. Suddenly, they saw a guy, about their own age streak past them and dive over the wall. Bret and Sebastian looked at each other and ran to the edge where he had jumped. They looked over the wall to see the guy sprawled out on the sidewalk. Their eyes widened and they ran down the stairs to the lobby and out the door. They went down to where the guy was laying, now in a puddle of blood.
“Somebody call 911!”Sebastian yelled.
Soon an ambulance came and took the guy away, he had been lying face-down, but when the medics had turned him around they recognized him as the frontman of a local band.
“That’s the Sunset Strip huh?” Sebastian asked.
“Yup, you want a drink?” Bret asked.
Sebastian looked at his watch.
“It’s only 11:30!”
“It’s 5:00 somewhere!”
So they headed off to a club that would be open this early. As they crossed to the other side of town they spotted a liquor store they used to steal from. They noticed that the front window had been shattered.
“Whoa,” Sebastian said.
Just then the store owner came out.
“Hey!” He said spotting Bret, “You’re the kid that was with that punk who stole my Jack Daniels yesterday!”
Bret looked at him startled, “I wasn’t here yesterday!”
The guy glared at him. He went inside and picked up the telephone, Bret and Bas tore off down the street. They ran a few blocks and hid in an alley.
“I can’t believe he thought you looked like Duff!” Sebastian said out of breath.
“Duff was the one here??? Remind me to beat the shit out of him next time I see him. Just then Duff came around the corner of the alley. He ran up to them panting,
“Please help me, Slash has been kidnapped by a giant man eating FLAMINGO!”
“WHAT?!”
Duff nodded solemnly.
“Umm, ok Duff I’m not sure what you drank last night but Slash is in our room. Or he was when we left…”
Duff blinked, “oh…anyone want a drink?”
“That’s where we were headed, before the guy from the liquor store stopped us because he thought I looked like you!”
“EEK! Are they still looking for me?” Duff asked as they began to walk down the sidewalk to a club.
“Apparently.”
As they walked into the club Duff screamed because he saw a lady in pink and he insisted that at first glance she looked like a flamingo…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Izzy woke up to a loud snoring. He looked over at the wall Steven was asleep against, got up from the bed with a pillow, and walked over to Steven. He smacked Steven as hard as he could with the pillow, Steven woke up,
“Whoa…wha…what?” He asked sleepily.
All this had woken Axl up from the other bed. He got up and snuck up behind Izzy and smacked him with a pillow. Izzy spun around,
“What the hell?”
Axl doubled over in a fit of giggles. Steven grabbed his own pillow and they were deeply engaged in their fight when there was a knock at the door. Steven opened the door to see Rikki standing at the door.
“Hey guys have you seen…”
That was all he had time to say before he found a pillow in his face courtesy of Steven. Rikki grabbed the pillow out of Steven’s hands and raised it above his head, he was just about to pummel Steven when Axl came out of nowhere tackled Rikki to the ground. Izzy came out into the hallway with the rest of them and the three gunners began pillowing poor Rikki on the ground. Just then C.C. and Bobby came out of their room because of all the laughter in the hallway. They looked at the tangle of giggling rockers and C.C. said to Bobby,
“These people want to be in the biggest rock band in the world and their having a pillow fight.”
Bobby rolled his eyes. All of a sudden they heard a voice from behind them. They turned around to see Slash running down the hallway from Poison’s room with a pillow in his hands,
“CHAAAAAAAARGE!!!!!!!!”
Slash ran passed C.C. and Bobby causing them to end up on the floor and leaped into the pile of pillows and musicians. By the time Duff, Bret and Sebastian came around the corner coming back from the club, every pillow from Guns N Roses and Poison’s rooms were out in the hallway. Bret and Duff looked at each other as Sebastian yelled,
“Oh boy a pillow fight!” and he jumped into the mess.
Bret and Duff started laughing and ran to join the fun.
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