Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance
Shh...you're beautiful just the way you are
9 Reviewsrated for mild violence. just a crappy little one-shot. i got the title from an mcr shirt that i absolutely love. uhm yeah. read rate review? should i write more?
I wish being fifteen was easier than adults made it seem. Don't rush to grow up, enjoy being a kid, my mom always says. Worst advice that was ever given to me. In the adult world, not always but more often than not, I'm sure its more acceptable to be gay. All I want is some that gets it, and I'm not gonna find that in a girl.
The worst part of it all is growing in an open household. Since I was about ten, I've known. My brother said he always knew. My mom was proud. My dad, is fine with it, but it's not something you bring up at dinner time conversation or anything. Me and my brother always talked about it and I stupidly, starting at a new school, figured everyone would feel the same way as my family.
Man was I sorely mistaken.
I get beat up constantly, and I'm starting to run out of stories about my fake clumsiness to tell to my dad. I've heard all the names and jokes way too many times. Truth be told, the guys at school need some new material.
I had to fuck it up worse when I decided to pick a particular boy to lust over. He's an outcast, like me, but I have no clue why. He doesn't get names and insults thrown at him, like me. I came to the conclusion that he chooses to exclude himself. He is a beautiful, shy, quiet creature. I've never talked to him, too scared I'll get something thrown at me, like I did the first time I even attempted to walk in his general direction in the cafeteria.
As I walked to school slowly that day I told myself today would be the day I talked to him. I told myself that everyday. That day has yet to come.
"Mikey?!" I heard from behind me, "Wait up!"
Fuck, I thought, It's one of those dumb jocks from school. Time to find a new route.
I didn't wait and kept walking.
They caught up anyway and started walking beside me. It wasn't a dumb jock, and far from it. It was the beautiful, so-far-nameless boy. How'd he know my name? I felt my heart stop beating in my chest.
He smiled at me, slightly winded. I noticed he was wearing one of those long-john material shirts like I wore to bed. I would have never thought to wear it to school, but it worked for him. It was slightly tight, and it kind of clung to his (lovely) muscles. I wanted so badly to look over into those dark green eyes, his dark hair falling into them. Sometimes he shook it away, sometimes he didn't. It depended what he was doing. I quickly glanced over, but not nearly as long as I wanted to.
"I'm Frank, by the way. You don't know me, but I know you."
I didn't look at him, sure I would probably drop-dead if I did. I just nodded stiffly.
"I notice those toads pick on you at school. Why do you let them do that?"
I shrugged and readjusted my backpack on my shoulders.
"Are you mute?" I finally did look over, and our eyes met. I felt my head get light. I could have fallen over. I immediately looked away and shook my head. That was dumb. I could have said no, to prove it. Way to make a first impression Mikey. At least you made eye contact so he won't think you're blind too!
This made him laugh though, it was like nothing I had ever heard. A beautiful laugh. Simply beautiful.
"Can you say anything?" he asked, nudging me with his elbow. Even the slight touch made my head feel like it was filled with air again. The same as the time I stole a puff of one of my brother's cigarettes. You feel...like you just have to sit down.
"A-any..thing?" I squeaked out, in an attempt to be witty.
He smiled, the smile almost more beautiful than his laugh. Definitely not perfect..perfect for him.
"What do you have first class?" he asked.
I racked my brain for an answer. Why couldn't I think? It was all his fault. Biology? No.. It was a science but not... "Physics!" I blurted out.
"I'm glad you're so enthused."
I smiled, but it quickly feel from my face as the school came into view.
"Hey, Mikey, trust me on this one. They don't fuck with me. Stick around me, and you'll be just fine. I got your back." He said, patting my shoulder. I felt the cigarette rush again. Though I appreciated his sentiment, I had to wonder if there was a catch. People in this school weren't known for doing things for nothing.
"W-why?" I stuttered.
He looked at me sideways. "Hmm?"
"Why do you 'have my back'?" I asked.
"Because... well... before you came to the school, they used to pick on me. I bottled it all up and...used a destructive outlet," I wanted to ask what that meant...but I refrained. "It didn't work like I'd thought and I snapped on their asses. I put one the in the fucking hospital. Fuck, I was suspended for a month. But they got the message. They haven't even looked in my direction since."
"Oh,"
"You gotta stick up for the little guy! Y'know?" I said, putting his hand on my shoulder and shaking me slightly. If he didn't stop soon I was sure I'd lose all consciousness.
"Yeah, I guess," I choked out.
"I know we don't have classes together but, you can meet me in the cafeteria at lunch. I know at least an hour a day without them helps even if it's just a little."
I stared straight forward at the hell I like to call school waiting ahead for me. "I'm sure it will."
Classes weren't so bad, I mean, the teacher never said anything about what they were saying, just the fact that they were talking made her tell them to shut up; which helped. It didn't really matter anyway. All their stupid remarks were blocked out because all I could think about was Frank. The way I felt when he put his hand on my shoulder...
"Micheal!"
I snapped out of my daze. "Huh?"
"Well...what is the formula for velocity?" My teacher said, squinting at me.
"Uh..." I had no clue whatsoever what we had been discussing through that whole class. Nothing at all came to mind.
She shook her head, "I expected more from my star student."
I slumped back into my chair as an eruption of snickers spread through the whole class. So I had straight A's. Big deal. It didn't mean she had to announce it to the whole world and add another item to the list of things to bug Mikey about.
After I suffered through Physics I got to go to music. Which I liked. I was learning bass guitar. I know it sounds stupid...but that is something I could really consider doing for the rest of my life. I love making music. I don't write much, that's more my brothers forte. But just.. making sound. It's hard to explain.
I picked up a piece of music paper and started writing down some tabs. Nothing fancy, but I was sure my brother would like to hear them when I got home.
The bell rang unexpectedly. The best class of the day and it always seemed to end so quickly.
I got a sudden shock of anxiety and I thought of worst case scenarios. You know me, Mr. Pessimistic. Maybe Frank and everyone were plotting against me. They picked the best looking guy in school and decided to have him pose as an outcast when really, he was working with them. It was all just an elaborate plan to make Mikey humiliated to his fullest extent..
I had to stop reading so many comics and watching so much tv. It was starting to get to me.
I walked slowly down the hall to the cafeteria. On the way, Jared, my mortal enemy walked up to me, "Hey Milky Way," he said stopping me. What a dumbass. Yes sir! YOU are the first person in the entire world who made that connection. Kudos, your mom must be proud.
I tried to walk around him but he stopped me with a shove.
"Hey I'm talking to you faggot. Listen when I'm talking to you," he said, staring at me with his red-rimmed eyes. All the "cool" people in my school did drugs because evidently, it's "cool" to be a babbling airheaded bully who kills the few brain cells he has left with a couple good hits of weed at lunch.
I sighed and just waited for it. The kick. The jab. The shove.
He picked c. today and basically threw me into the lockers causing my head to crack against the metal and knock my glasses off my face. That would hurt in the morning. I scrambled to pick them up before they got stepped on. I didn't cry...until I ducked into the bathroom. I gripped the side of the counter and stared hard and my reflection in the mirror. Tears falling down my cheeks. I wanted this to end.
I heard yelling outside the bathroom door that sounded like it was the product of a large crowd. I pushed open the door and peeked out. Two toadies were trying to pull Frank off of Jared and as I had guessed a crowd was cheering them on. Frank never took a hit. When the toadies finally got him off he whipped around and stared at them. They actually took a step back. I looked down at Jared, his eye was bruised, his lip was cut and bleeding as was his nose. A thing of beauty.
Frank spotted me watching and ran into the bathroom, "We have to go," he said, pulling me out into the hallway.
"Go where?" I asked, following him willingly anyway. We stepped over Jared who was still lying on the ground moaning. I looked back at him and smirked as we walked away.
Frank didn't answer my question and lead me outside. We walked to the middle of the field and sat under a tree. We said nothing. He lit up a cigarette. I wanted to protest, and tell him it was against the rules and wasn't smart since he was probably already on the verge of suspension. But I didn't.
"Thank you," I whispered instead.
He looked over at me. There was a strange hurt in his eyes, "Yeah.."
"Wh...what's wrong?" I stuttered out, only slightly louder than I had spoken before.
"Hmm? Nothing...just...no, nothing."
I reached over and actually touched his arm. What about today had made me so bold? "You can tell me you know,"
He looked shocked to hear this; he opened his mouth to speak but was cut off by the bell.
I got up and dusted the grass off my pants.
He gave me a weird look, "The fuck are you doing? I'm not going back in there."
I returned the weird look, "Why not?"
"I'm skipping. Leary would have my ass on a platter if I went back." he scoffed, and stood up, "Come with me, we can go to the mall or something. Anywhere but here."
I had never skipped a class in my entire existence. I still blame it on that god forsaken puppy face of his.
I convinced Frank that the mall was a bad idea. God knows where my mother goes during the day. Instead we went to the playground I remember playing in as a child. Now it was just a decrepit pile of rusted metal, home to drug deals and murders. To Frank it was better than school though.
We sat down on a bench that still happened to be sturdy. I gripped the side of the bench, paranoid about the things that went on here.
He looked over at me, "You okay?"
"Yeah... are you?" I asked, relaxing a little.
He thought about this simple question very hard. "I... don't know. I'm okay I guess."
I looked at him sideways, "What's wrong?"
He opened his mouth, but nothing came out. He closed it....then opened it again, in an attempt to say something. "I need your advice."
What could anyone possibly want to ask me about? "Mhm,"
"Well, see... I like this person... and I don't know if they like me back and everything about it is so awkward... I don't know...it's hard to explain,"
I shook my head, "I'm not the kind of person to ask about this stuff. I know nothing about girls."
He glanced at me, then looked away. A slight bit of humility was in his face. "I never...said..."
"Never said what?" I asked. Just come out and say it boy!
He shifted around in his seat uncomfortably. "I never said that it was a girl..."
Oh, WONDERFUL! I thought, He's actually gay, and he likes another boy. "Oh, well...I'm in the same boat Frank and--"
"You are!?"
I nodded, "And you just have to...go for it. I mean, not like I'd know or anything. I've never--"
I was cut off as was my breath, as his lips crashed against mine. It took me a few seconds to actually realize that he was kissing me. He was kissing me! It took me another few to kiss back. I could have passed out-- no I could have died at that moment and been completely content.
He pulled away and looked into my eyes. "I'm sorry I--"
"Don't be,"
The worst part of it all is growing in an open household. Since I was about ten, I've known. My brother said he always knew. My mom was proud. My dad, is fine with it, but it's not something you bring up at dinner time conversation or anything. Me and my brother always talked about it and I stupidly, starting at a new school, figured everyone would feel the same way as my family.
Man was I sorely mistaken.
I get beat up constantly, and I'm starting to run out of stories about my fake clumsiness to tell to my dad. I've heard all the names and jokes way too many times. Truth be told, the guys at school need some new material.
I had to fuck it up worse when I decided to pick a particular boy to lust over. He's an outcast, like me, but I have no clue why. He doesn't get names and insults thrown at him, like me. I came to the conclusion that he chooses to exclude himself. He is a beautiful, shy, quiet creature. I've never talked to him, too scared I'll get something thrown at me, like I did the first time I even attempted to walk in his general direction in the cafeteria.
As I walked to school slowly that day I told myself today would be the day I talked to him. I told myself that everyday. That day has yet to come.
"Mikey?!" I heard from behind me, "Wait up!"
Fuck, I thought, It's one of those dumb jocks from school. Time to find a new route.
I didn't wait and kept walking.
They caught up anyway and started walking beside me. It wasn't a dumb jock, and far from it. It was the beautiful, so-far-nameless boy. How'd he know my name? I felt my heart stop beating in my chest.
He smiled at me, slightly winded. I noticed he was wearing one of those long-john material shirts like I wore to bed. I would have never thought to wear it to school, but it worked for him. It was slightly tight, and it kind of clung to his (lovely) muscles. I wanted so badly to look over into those dark green eyes, his dark hair falling into them. Sometimes he shook it away, sometimes he didn't. It depended what he was doing. I quickly glanced over, but not nearly as long as I wanted to.
"I'm Frank, by the way. You don't know me, but I know you."
I didn't look at him, sure I would probably drop-dead if I did. I just nodded stiffly.
"I notice those toads pick on you at school. Why do you let them do that?"
I shrugged and readjusted my backpack on my shoulders.
"Are you mute?" I finally did look over, and our eyes met. I felt my head get light. I could have fallen over. I immediately looked away and shook my head. That was dumb. I could have said no, to prove it. Way to make a first impression Mikey. At least you made eye contact so he won't think you're blind too!
This made him laugh though, it was like nothing I had ever heard. A beautiful laugh. Simply beautiful.
"Can you say anything?" he asked, nudging me with his elbow. Even the slight touch made my head feel like it was filled with air again. The same as the time I stole a puff of one of my brother's cigarettes. You feel...like you just have to sit down.
"A-any..thing?" I squeaked out, in an attempt to be witty.
He smiled, the smile almost more beautiful than his laugh. Definitely not perfect..perfect for him.
"What do you have first class?" he asked.
I racked my brain for an answer. Why couldn't I think? It was all his fault. Biology? No.. It was a science but not... "Physics!" I blurted out.
"I'm glad you're so enthused."
I smiled, but it quickly feel from my face as the school came into view.
"Hey, Mikey, trust me on this one. They don't fuck with me. Stick around me, and you'll be just fine. I got your back." He said, patting my shoulder. I felt the cigarette rush again. Though I appreciated his sentiment, I had to wonder if there was a catch. People in this school weren't known for doing things for nothing.
"W-why?" I stuttered.
He looked at me sideways. "Hmm?"
"Why do you 'have my back'?" I asked.
"Because... well... before you came to the school, they used to pick on me. I bottled it all up and...used a destructive outlet," I wanted to ask what that meant...but I refrained. "It didn't work like I'd thought and I snapped on their asses. I put one the in the fucking hospital. Fuck, I was suspended for a month. But they got the message. They haven't even looked in my direction since."
"Oh,"
"You gotta stick up for the little guy! Y'know?" I said, putting his hand on my shoulder and shaking me slightly. If he didn't stop soon I was sure I'd lose all consciousness.
"Yeah, I guess," I choked out.
"I know we don't have classes together but, you can meet me in the cafeteria at lunch. I know at least an hour a day without them helps even if it's just a little."
I stared straight forward at the hell I like to call school waiting ahead for me. "I'm sure it will."
Classes weren't so bad, I mean, the teacher never said anything about what they were saying, just the fact that they were talking made her tell them to shut up; which helped. It didn't really matter anyway. All their stupid remarks were blocked out because all I could think about was Frank. The way I felt when he put his hand on my shoulder...
"Micheal!"
I snapped out of my daze. "Huh?"
"Well...what is the formula for velocity?" My teacher said, squinting at me.
"Uh..." I had no clue whatsoever what we had been discussing through that whole class. Nothing at all came to mind.
She shook her head, "I expected more from my star student."
I slumped back into my chair as an eruption of snickers spread through the whole class. So I had straight A's. Big deal. It didn't mean she had to announce it to the whole world and add another item to the list of things to bug Mikey about.
After I suffered through Physics I got to go to music. Which I liked. I was learning bass guitar. I know it sounds stupid...but that is something I could really consider doing for the rest of my life. I love making music. I don't write much, that's more my brothers forte. But just.. making sound. It's hard to explain.
I picked up a piece of music paper and started writing down some tabs. Nothing fancy, but I was sure my brother would like to hear them when I got home.
The bell rang unexpectedly. The best class of the day and it always seemed to end so quickly.
I got a sudden shock of anxiety and I thought of worst case scenarios. You know me, Mr. Pessimistic. Maybe Frank and everyone were plotting against me. They picked the best looking guy in school and decided to have him pose as an outcast when really, he was working with them. It was all just an elaborate plan to make Mikey humiliated to his fullest extent..
I had to stop reading so many comics and watching so much tv. It was starting to get to me.
I walked slowly down the hall to the cafeteria. On the way, Jared, my mortal enemy walked up to me, "Hey Milky Way," he said stopping me. What a dumbass. Yes sir! YOU are the first person in the entire world who made that connection. Kudos, your mom must be proud.
I tried to walk around him but he stopped me with a shove.
"Hey I'm talking to you faggot. Listen when I'm talking to you," he said, staring at me with his red-rimmed eyes. All the "cool" people in my school did drugs because evidently, it's "cool" to be a babbling airheaded bully who kills the few brain cells he has left with a couple good hits of weed at lunch.
I sighed and just waited for it. The kick. The jab. The shove.
He picked c. today and basically threw me into the lockers causing my head to crack against the metal and knock my glasses off my face. That would hurt in the morning. I scrambled to pick them up before they got stepped on. I didn't cry...until I ducked into the bathroom. I gripped the side of the counter and stared hard and my reflection in the mirror. Tears falling down my cheeks. I wanted this to end.
I heard yelling outside the bathroom door that sounded like it was the product of a large crowd. I pushed open the door and peeked out. Two toadies were trying to pull Frank off of Jared and as I had guessed a crowd was cheering them on. Frank never took a hit. When the toadies finally got him off he whipped around and stared at them. They actually took a step back. I looked down at Jared, his eye was bruised, his lip was cut and bleeding as was his nose. A thing of beauty.
Frank spotted me watching and ran into the bathroom, "We have to go," he said, pulling me out into the hallway.
"Go where?" I asked, following him willingly anyway. We stepped over Jared who was still lying on the ground moaning. I looked back at him and smirked as we walked away.
Frank didn't answer my question and lead me outside. We walked to the middle of the field and sat under a tree. We said nothing. He lit up a cigarette. I wanted to protest, and tell him it was against the rules and wasn't smart since he was probably already on the verge of suspension. But I didn't.
"Thank you," I whispered instead.
He looked over at me. There was a strange hurt in his eyes, "Yeah.."
"Wh...what's wrong?" I stuttered out, only slightly louder than I had spoken before.
"Hmm? Nothing...just...no, nothing."
I reached over and actually touched his arm. What about today had made me so bold? "You can tell me you know,"
He looked shocked to hear this; he opened his mouth to speak but was cut off by the bell.
I got up and dusted the grass off my pants.
He gave me a weird look, "The fuck are you doing? I'm not going back in there."
I returned the weird look, "Why not?"
"I'm skipping. Leary would have my ass on a platter if I went back." he scoffed, and stood up, "Come with me, we can go to the mall or something. Anywhere but here."
I had never skipped a class in my entire existence. I still blame it on that god forsaken puppy face of his.
I convinced Frank that the mall was a bad idea. God knows where my mother goes during the day. Instead we went to the playground I remember playing in as a child. Now it was just a decrepit pile of rusted metal, home to drug deals and murders. To Frank it was better than school though.
We sat down on a bench that still happened to be sturdy. I gripped the side of the bench, paranoid about the things that went on here.
He looked over at me, "You okay?"
"Yeah... are you?" I asked, relaxing a little.
He thought about this simple question very hard. "I... don't know. I'm okay I guess."
I looked at him sideways, "What's wrong?"
He opened his mouth, but nothing came out. He closed it....then opened it again, in an attempt to say something. "I need your advice."
What could anyone possibly want to ask me about? "Mhm,"
"Well, see... I like this person... and I don't know if they like me back and everything about it is so awkward... I don't know...it's hard to explain,"
I shook my head, "I'm not the kind of person to ask about this stuff. I know nothing about girls."
He glanced at me, then looked away. A slight bit of humility was in his face. "I never...said..."
"Never said what?" I asked. Just come out and say it boy!
He shifted around in his seat uncomfortably. "I never said that it was a girl..."
Oh, WONDERFUL! I thought, He's actually gay, and he likes another boy. "Oh, well...I'm in the same boat Frank and--"
"You are!?"
I nodded, "And you just have to...go for it. I mean, not like I'd know or anything. I've never--"
I was cut off as was my breath, as his lips crashed against mine. It took me a few seconds to actually realize that he was kissing me. He was kissing me! It took me another few to kiss back. I could have passed out-- no I could have died at that moment and been completely content.
He pulled away and looked into my eyes. "I'm sorry I--"
"Don't be,"
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