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Tastes Like Chicken

by tochira 0 Reviews

An interlude over (stolen) dinner.

Category: Slayers - Rating: PG - Genres: Humor - Characters:  - Published: 2007/09/09 - Updated: 2007/09/09 - 509 words - Complete

Zelgadiss stared in mute fascination. He'd never seen anything like it before. And that was saying something; he'd seen some pretty weird and disgusting shit. He snuck a glance at Amelia, sitting on his left. Her expression was equal parts revulsion and awe. Yeah, that about summed it up.

"So, Miss Lina..."

gulpswallowsmack "Yeff Ahmewya?" Lina didn't pause to breathe, or even look up at her. Amelia pressed on.

"What exactly are we eating?" She had finished her portion, and been violently denied seconds.

Gourry chimed in, happy he could provide the (correct) answer for once. "Suuza roast! It's really rare and expensive, but those bandits had just grabbed a whole bird from some rich guy! Pretty cool, huh? HEY, Lina, that was my drumstick!"

"Uu sfnoove, uu wuuve, vewwyfifth!" [1] CHOMP

Amelia twitched. "Drumstick? But that thing's almost as big as me!" She looked over at Zelgadiss, hoping for some kind of intelligible explanation.

"Suuza are birds. Very rare, large birds," he clarified. "Their eggs are more valuable than their flesh, so hunters don't usually kill the birds, just steal the occasional egg. That's why it's so hard to find places that can serve the meat."

Amelia sniffed. "It was good, but it smells just like fried chicken to me-- OW! What was that for?!" She rubbed her arm and glared at Lina, who gave the impression of having never looked up from her meal. They knew better.

Gulp The last shred of meat finally vanished. "It's not chicken, you brainless booby-- Suuza has a much sweeter flavor and the meat is extremely tender, no matter how it's cooked!" Lina gnawed absently on the giant thighbone she'd swiped from Gourry. "The bones make nice spell-daggers, too, if you use white magic. Damn, but that was tasty." She leaned back against the log Gourry was sitting on, burping contentedly.

Amelia poked at the bulging sack that rested between them on the ground. "So what do Suuza birds look like? I've never heard of them before."

"They're deep red, with long legs and long necks. Very loud, screeching voices. Lots of decorative, useless feathers. Actually, they do look kind of like giant chickens..." Zelgadiss glared at Lina, who'd kicked him indignantly and stubbed her toe. "Well, they DO. Why do you care, anyway?"

Gourry grinned suddenly and Zelgadiss just knew what was coming next. "Maybe she feels insecure because they're the same color as her hair... na, Lina? Do you think you look like a giant chicken?"

"You brainless sea urchin! FIREBALL!"

"Ow, hey, you know that's what you were thinking!" FWACK "OW! Quit swinging that thing at me! I thought you said they were for knives, not clubs!"

Yep. He'd seen it coming, all right. Zelgadiss rolled his eyes and just hoped Lina didn't vaporize the bones by accident. He really did want a good dagger or three for himself.

Watching the mayhem from her (relatively) safe perch at his side, Amelia whispered, "They do sound similar to Miss Lina."

Zelgadiss bit back a grin.


[1] "You snooze, you lose, jellyfish!"
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