A day to remember...
"Um no, sorry", it was Cole's voice, "It's Cole".
"Hey Cole", I tried to squeal with happiness.
"Um, I just called to wish you a very happy birthday", he sounded awkward.
"Thank you so much!", I hoped I sounded truthful cause all I wanted to do was to free the line in case Gerard calls.
"Um yeah, have a sweet evening and a wonderful year and many more to come, honey"
I smiled, he was really sweet, I wondered how he got my number but then remembered he was actually Haley's friend, "Thank you Cole, it means a lot to me"
"Really?", he sounded cheerful all of the sudden.
"Off course. Thank you so much for calling, it really made my day", I lied like a mean bitch, I really didn't care that much about him calling but I couldn't say that to him, could I.
"Well have a lovely time and I'll talk to you soon".
"Can't wait", I hung up, hoping he didn't hear the indifference in my voice.
I looked around the room at the people who gathered around my birthday cake courtesy of Donna Way, Amy and James were there, Billy and Lynn went all lovey dovey on our asses, Janet were interfering Franks 89485th attempt to lick the chocolate icing, Spencer was sneaking shy glances at his brother's wife, Mikey, Ray and Bob were talking quietly and Ali examined my present pile in hope to see what was inside the colorful boxes.
What was wrong with this picture? Gerard wasn't there!
Mikey was the last person to talk to him, he promised to be here within 30 minutes, however, that was about 4 hours ago.
I tried to laugh and entertain my guests but panic and alarm choke me, I finally retired to stare out of the window, I was becoming an emotional wreck, worried one minute, pissed the next, worried sick one second, raging the next.
How could he do this to me?? Especially after he promised it would be a day to remember!
He knew how crappy I would feel if he wasn’t there yet he didn't bother to show up.
But what if something terrible happened, what if he's in some hospital bed fighting for his life while I was thinking the shit of him, again panic flushed over me, I bit my nails while staring out to the darkness of the street.
He better be OK so I can kick his ass.
"Don't worry Skyler, he probably just stuck in traffic", mikey hugged me from behind and rested his head on my shoulder.
"It would make me feel so much better if he actually took the van", I rested my head on his, with the hint of a smile on my face.
"He's probably having trouble picking out your present, you know how he leaves everything to the last minute", I don't know who he was trying to convince, me or himself but I didn't say anything.
My hand shot for the cell phone, I pressed the redial button and listen to Gerard asking to leave a message for the 47738th time that evening, I left another message, a short one this time, just asking him to call me back.
I sighed and hung up.
Mikey and I stood like that, staring out of the window, hoping to see Gerard coming around the corner, for a while.
"What said the chicken to the prep?", Frank tried to control his drunken giggle.
People frowned and shrugged.
"I don't know", he laughed so hard the champagne spilled out of his glass.
We all giggled.
There was no sign of Gerard so I decided to turn to the old method of drink and forget.
At that exact second the door flung open and Gerard literally fell through it into the living room, we all stared at him silently while he climbed to his feet, brushed off his dirty jeans and looked up ,his unfocused eyes scanned the room and rested for a split moment on mine, my heart broke inside of me. For just a second I hoped something serious happened to him that prevented him to come back home instead of forgetting me in favor of booze.
"ooohh a party", he did a little strange dance and stumbled, grabbing his own painting on the wall to stabilize himself.
I recovered first and stepped forward and grabbed his arm.
"Oh baby happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you….", he paused and frowned like he forgot the words.
I pulled him through the living room to my room, well to our room and sat him on the bed, he fell backwards.
We didn't talk, I helped him take off his shoes and coat, he snuggled on the covers, I closed the curtain and dimmed the light, I couldn't face the people in the living room, I heard some whispers and figured they were talking about how dysfunctional we are, many of them didn't approve us, I can only imagine what they would say if they knew I actually married the idiot in the bed.
I sat on the edge of the bed with my back to him and tears streamed down my cheeks, I heard him sigh and then felt his hands snick around my shoulder, I pushed him away, which wasn't hard cause he was drunk.
"Come on", he tried to hug me again but only to meet my resistance, I managed to flung him on his back and felt powerful but at the same as miserable as it gets, "don't touch me".
"What's the fucking deal with you?!" , he hissed while scrambling back to a sitting position.
"I don't want you to touch me" , my voice was surprisingly calm.
"Fuck, all I did was being late to the stupid party", he moaned.
More tears streamed down, I swear I'm the human Niagara falls sometimes, I took a deep breath and tried to control my voice, "you were 6 hours late to my 22nd birthday party, and you came back drunk"
"So?", he gave me a look, "I met Ben, we lost track of time".
"I called you god knows how many times, all you had to fucking do is answer one of the fucking calls, fucking asshole", I threw self control to the wind and screamed at him, "why you keep doing this to me? The minute I start to relax and feel safe you go and pull this kinda shit".
He actually looked pissed off which drove me insane, he had no fucking right to be pissed, I'm the hurt one in this, "Oh so now I own you explanations where I'm and why? You're my wife not my prison guard, just put a fucking tracking chip on me!!!".
"So now I'm the evil wife?", I roared, he could push my buttons as well as my mother could only he didn't until now, "It's my birthday…", I sobbed, "And you promised…How could you", I collapsed on the edge of the bed again, crying into my hands, I was heartbroken and hurt beyond belief, I was so worried while he was knocking back booze with his shit for a friend, and worst of all he wasn't sorry.
I felt his hands creep on my shoulders again, for a split second I wanted to bury my face in his warm sweater but then I smelled booze and Ben on him and any thought of forgiveness flew out of my mind, "Stay away from me!!!"
I ran for the door, through the living room and into the kitchen, I flung myself on the chair and sobbed hard.
I felt Amy's hand on my hand, "What's wrong?".
It was kinda obvious what was wrong but I didn't say that after all, she meant well.
Mikey, Frank, Bob, Ray, and Ali followed me into the kitchen as well, they all looked concern but Mikey's reaction annoyed me the most, mainly cause I knew what he was thinking, on the outside he was just wearing his worried mask but his eyes were telling a different story ,he was smug, he was saying 'I told you, you don't fit but you had to do it anyway so now you deal with it'.
I glared at him so he put on his surprised mask; I wasn't too fond of the Way brothers at the moment.
Than the other Way member stumbled into the kitchen, Amy stood up between me and him; he scanned her, looking bewildered, "Move the fuck away"
"No", she moved closer to him.
"This is between me and her, it's none of your motherfucking business", he hissed.
"You don't deserve her", she looked threatening.
"I don't give shit what you think, go away", he lost his temper and raised his voice.
"One more word in that tone and I'll snap you up like a cheap cane", James appeared in the doorway.
I felt sorry for Gerard; everyone seemed to gang up on him even the guys didn't look sympathetic.
"Get the fuck out of my kitchen. Skyler is my fucking w…girlfriend and it's our business", he yelled some more.
"Shut the fuck up", Ali sounded annoyed.
"No one asked you, bitch" ,Gerard turned to face her.
Ray stepped up, "Gerard, stop it".
I saw Ray and Ali exchange looks, maybe they still liked each other after all.
"All of you, get the fuck out", he screamed, waving his fists in the air.
I stood up slowly, "It's OK guys, let us talk".
Everyone exchanged looks and stood silent for a while, "Really it's OK", I reassured them.
"I don't believe you", Ali murmured and exited the kitchen, soon the rest followed her lead, murmuring and shaking their heads.
They don't understand.
When they left I let Gerard hug me but I didn't hugged him back.
"I'm sorry, OK?", he kissed my forehead.
"I would never do it again, I promise", but his breathe told me otherwise, "don't make promises you can't keep".
"I mean it, I swear", he cradled me in his arms, but all I wanted is to crawl somewhere and die.
"I don't believe you and I don't trust you, how about that?", I narrowed my eyes and placed my hands on my hips.
He looked hurt, his hazel eyes screamed in pain, "I know".
"Then what do I do?", I felt a strange feeling of satisfaction, "You hurt me all the time".
"If you want a divorce, I'll let you go", for the second time in 9 years I saw tears form in his eyes, "It would kill me but you'll be free"
I couldn't help myself and hugged him tight.
What a girl to do when she's in love with a motherfucker?