Title from "Tonight Tonight" - The Smashing Pumpkins
Gerard’s eyes didn’t change back to normal. Adam was worried and expressed it once they were lodged in another cruddy motel for the night.
“Gerard, this is technically suicide. You won’t even be able to find Ryan if you die.” He said.
“If I die, fine. If I go find Frank, he’ll kill me.” Gerard said.
“He’s not stronger than you. All you have to do is-”
“Yes, Adam, I fucking get it. But if I do do that. I’ll kill him.” Gerard said bitterly, looking to the side.
“You can’t die, Gerard. Not now. Frank needs you, the world needs you.”
“The world doesn’t need me. No one does. I’m not fucking superman or something..” Gerard gasped, gripping the sheets he was sitting on and grinding his teeth down as pain flooded his jaw and skull.
They slept in different beds. Gerard wouldn’t admit it, but he felt bad about sleeping with Adam. And vise versa. He wouldn’t act like it, but he still cared about Frank. Somehow.
The morning was dark and foggy. Gerard ignored it and wrapped his coat tighter around himself. Adam was slinking about in the alleys, paws scratching and fur bristling as he snuffled through the dumpsters.
“You’re disgusting.” Gerard called into the air.
He received a light howl in reply.
They were walking past a bookstore when suddenly the store behind them exploded in flame. Glass shattered and cut Gerard’s back, but he shoved Adam forward. He ran and Adam followed.
“Someone’s trying to kill you.” Adam said grimly, “Told you.”
There were bullets next. They tore through wood and caught Adam in the side. He yelped and suddenly was down on all fours, bolting past people to catch up with Gerard. Blood spilt from the wounds, tracking the cement.
Adam got a few more blocks before he started to slow down, panting heavily and whining as he limped along gingerly.
Gerard stopped and listened. He could tell the attackers weren’t moving at the time. He stopped as Adam howled lightly and collapsed tiredly on the sidewalk, dipping his head toward Gerard.
“Adam… Come on, buddy.” Gerard coaxed.
Adam whined again.
There was blood leaking steadily from his fur and people were staring, crowding around. Gerard picked the small animal up in his arms and started running again; the footsteps behind them were picking up.
He could smell Ryan. They had walked and walked through three states already. They were in Virginia.
They were halfway to Gerard’s destination, Gerard walking, when Adam reverted into a human in Gerard’s arms, breathing labored and blood soaking his clothing.
“Gerard…” he moaned, lifting an arm weakly to push at Gerard’s chest, “You have to stop… Look at yourself…’
Gerard ignored him.
Adam had good reason to be worried.
Gerard’s eyes weren’t just hollow black anymore, the black took up the whole of his eyes, whites and all. Sweat dripped from his hair and Adam could see the bruises spread from Gerard’s torso on his neck and jaw.
“Gerard. Stop.” He said.
“No… No, you’ll die… I can’t…” Gerard said.
“Gerard.” Adam interrupted, “Gerard, you’ll die if you don’t stop. Please.”
Gerard’s chest heaved and he set Adam down in the dark on a bench, leaning against the side and struggling for breath.
“Find Frank, Gerard. Go find him… and…” Adam trailed off.
“He’ll k-kill me, Adam.” Gerard said, “Look at me. I’m weaker than… y-you.”
Adam shook his head. He sat up and pulled off his jacket and shirt, tanned skin dark in the night air. He shivered.
Gerard could see the bullet wounds marring his ribcage and chest.
Adam squeezed his eyes shut and gasped, his muscles clenching.
The tissue lining the holes was shifting, edges pulling in and molding together roughly.
“There. All better.” Adam tried.
“No you’re not.” Gerard said, “That’s not good enough.”
Adam ignored him and stood, flinching.
He put his clothes back on and Gerard frowned, but let Adam steady him as they walked.
“I won’t let him kill you. I may not be strong, but he’s dazed right now. Make him remember, Gerard. Make yourself remember.” Adam said.
Gerard looked at him quizzically, but got no answer.
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