Categories > Books > Harry Potter > The Power

chapter 23

by DarthBill 9 Reviews

chapter 23

Category: Harry Potter - Rating: PG-13 - Genres: Fantasy - Characters: Harry - Warnings: [V] - Published: 2007/10/15 - Updated: 2007/10/15 - 2216 words - Complete

Reviews

  • The Power

    (#) Infin1x 2007-10-26 05:39:55 AM

    First I have to say I really like this story. Now I have to give the criticism the first couple of chapters, probably all of them up to hogwarts, felt like they were badly parphrased from the book with minimal changes. It would go from following the book almost word for word and then skip whole chunks, it just didn't flow at all.

    Second your main character shares very little with canon Harry Potter besides the name, which while normally a very bad thing I did enjoy the lack of the indecisive slightly emo boy of the books but he is missing one of the better qualities of HP, the kindness and humbleness along with the saving people thing that was so endearing of the character. Your Harry Potter felt more like what I would imagine James Potter would be like crossed with the bookishness of Remus along with a nifty power.

    Still the later chapters were very interesting and I really hope you continue this. I really want to see your take on the rest of the series.

    Author's response

    Not to be rude, but all those things that you say you don't like about my character are my favorite parts of him, so too bad.

    I know that the story is too close to canon, but oh, well. I am not very creative, it seems.
  • The Power

    (#) pfeil 2007-11-25 07:51:41 PM

    What's up with Hermione's comment about safety nets?

    And he seems like the kind of guy that'd go for a harem, is often fun. Hermione, Luna, a veela bond with Gabrielle, ...

    Author's response

    Hermione was saying that Harry is the guy that she will keep around incase no one else meets her standards. Harry's rubbing off on her a little.

    And of course Harry is the type of guy to like harems. The only problem is that none of the girls are.
  • The Power

    (#) koppe 2007-12-17 09:32:09 AM

    Great story so far... Loved that Hermione became "1st Friend", but would've liked for Ron to play a bigger role too.

    I was hoping for a harem-story for a while, but I guess it won't include Ginny -- too bad (if you could work Ginny back in, that would be great)... guess it could include Hermione and Luna -- and perhaps Fleur. Hope Harry really is successful and get Fleur to teach him about sex (and then maybe Hermione allows Harry to teach it to her).

    Speaking of Veelas... will Harry rescue Gabrielle? Will there be something there that will blossom into something more later on?

    I hope we'll see more of Hermione's family, and that some sort of truce can be reach with Hermione's sister. Is she too a witch? Cold she develop feelings for Harry?

    I really would like to see how Harry-noticing-girls-everywhere will pan out...

    +++

    The story is well written, and I mostly like what you've done to the characters and over all storyline.

    Keep up the great work, and please update soon.

    Author's response

    Great story so far... Loved that Hermione became "1st Friend", but would've liked for Ron to play a bigger role too.

    I was hoping for a harem-story for a while, but I guess it won't include Ginny -- too bad (if you could work Ginny back in, that would be great)... guess it could include Hermione and Luna -- and perhaps Fleur. Hope Harry really is successful and get Fleur to teach him about sex (and then maybe Hermione allows Harry to teach it to her).

    Speaking of Veelas... will Harry rescue Gabrielle? Will there be something there that will blossom into something more later on?

    I hope we'll see more of Hermione's family, and that some sort of truce can be reach with Hermione's sister. Is she too a witch? Cold she develop feelings for Harry?

    I really would like to see how Harry-noticing-girls-everywhere will pan out...

    +++

    The story is well written, and I mostly like what you've done to the characters and over all storyline.

    Keep up the great work, and please update soon.

    _______
    Wow.

    Okay, first; Gabrielle is like nine years old, dude.

    Second, no. Harry will not make up with Herm's sister. She's a bitch, and Harry likes to laugh at her.

    Also, ... NO HAREMS! I am seriously getting tired of saying that. I you ever find an actual girl who will consend to be in a harem with you, then I will watch as Armaggedon destroys our planet.

    This is a Harry/Multi story, but not at the same time. Harry is a player.

    Thanks for the review.
  • The Power

    (#) D14852001neko 2007-12-18 03:10:03 PM

    I was laughing so hard with the "I'll go Old Testament on your ass!" for it was a line that I actually used on a Priest (I am an atheist, and I had to be in the church because we were graduating, things escalated and I ended up fighting the Priest and then getting expelled from the church).

    And I have to admit, after the 20th chapters, your humor pent up so high that it made the story one of my favorites, its bloody awesome!

    I wonder tho... Will Harry get laid with Fleur?

    Cheers mate! Keep up this awesome piece of work and I beg of you to update ASAP!

    Author's response

    I really haven't decided yet if Harry will bag Fleur.

    Thanks for the review.
  • The Power

    (#) EluSurion 2008-01-02 11:43:16 PM

    oh my god...

    i soooo pissed my dad off reading your story..(7 hours ago, 1 in the morning) i couldnt stop laughing after harry potter the grey was introduced, and i almost couldnt stop myself when he would go 'old testament on your ass!'

    After that my father almost kicked me into bed. Even when i said the story was allready over.

    Anyway. This story is great, even when i often cant read a sentence(probably me, dont worry), its problably one of the best i've read so far. hope u can update a lot faster then most writers, cuz if takes u a month for each chapter, we wont be done by the end of year.

    Keep up the good work pls.

    Author's response

    I'm afraid that I really don't update as fast as I should.

    Sorry.

    Thanks for the review.
  • The Power

    (#) GreyShadow 2008-01-18 06:24:12 PM

    very good, would like for you to continue on with it
  • The Power

    (#) IceAlkhuan 2008-04-28 06:28:10 PM

    I LOOOOOVE IT PLEASE UPDATE IMMEDIETLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • The Power

    (#) D14852001neko 2008-05-27 04:57:07 PM

    Wow... almost 6 months since I review'd this story, and no updates! Are you ok mate?
  • The Power

    (#) TxA_GunFighter 2009-03-06 07:16:28 AM

    Good chapter,

    gunny

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