A/N: I own none of this. Honest. Nope, not me. Also none of the other characters who appear. Everything and everyone belongs to someone else. Thus is the story of my life.
A/N2: Ok, I wasn't going to do this particular set of cameos either, but so many people have asked for it, here it comes.
Harry Potter and the Trademark Dispute.
Chapter 10 - Hermione Gets Spanked
Three Hours Later:
"That was amazing" marveled Daphne Greengrass. "you're alucky girl."
"Glad you liked it." Hermione smiled. "I believe we agreed to 50 Galleons, each."
"Well worth it." Said Pansy as she paid. "Only one complaint. It's hard to get into the "Female Death Eaters torture the Chosen One" game when he keeps yelling "Yippee!", "Woo Hoo!" and "Best Girlfriend Ever!". Ask him to work on that."
"What have we learned?"
Hermione was deeply embarrassed. Who would have thought that Harry would react badly to discovering his new playmates were paying for the privilege? "Harry Potter is no one's whore, and he isn't going to risk his amateur status in his favorite sport just to keep me in hats with big feathers."
"and?" Harry was quite enjoying this.
"I am not always right."
"Hermione," Harry said sternly. "We are not here to discuss what you were not, we are discussing what you were."
She hung her head. "I was wro... wro... wro... Look, there isn't all that much research available on the subject of gigolos, I looked and looked. Then you seemed to enjoy it, and it wasn't all that much money..."
"Hermione. It's been 2 months. Iknow I haven't had anyone in that time, but Several of the girls have been suggesting a 'party' and frankly it's starting to look inviting. I suppose you could always go with Ron for a while..."
"Ok, I was wrong. I admit it, Iwas wrong!"
"Now was that so hard? I assume you've repaid everything you collected?"
"Yes Harry. I've paid it all back."She looked at him with heavily lidded eyes. "I've been a very bad girl. Are you going to punish me?"
"hmm. It wouldn't make much sense to give you the spanking you deserve for being so naughty through that heavy robe..."
Susan Bones and Hannah Abbott were walking by the Room of Requirements when Hermione's scream rang out.
"BEST BOYFRIEND EVER!"
Susan looked envious. "You know, Ithink she does that on purpose."
"Damned braggart." Hannah agreed.
Spring had come early to Hogwarts, they were having a wonderful spell of weather for March. Warm enough to abandon the cloaks and depend on jumpers, dry enough that the grass was available for sitting on in the sunshine.
Harry and Hermione were enjoying apleasant Saturday afternoon by the lake, when an ungodly amount of noise came from the general direction of the castle. There hovering 30 feet off the ground was a large black Muggle Jet. This wasn't supposed to be possible. The Jet's landing gear extended, and the huge machine settled on the ground. Predictably, the purebloods were going spare.
"Oh Hell, what now?"
"You've got 15 minutes to get rid of them Potter. I've got needs you know."
Harry smiled. Cut her off for 2months and she was horny as a brass section. Life was good. He walked over to the jet, as it extended a stairway to the ground, and possibly the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen walked down the stairs and smiled at him. Tall with flowing Red Hair, green eyes that bored into his soul. She wore a flowing green dress with a scarf around her neck.
"Hello Harry Potter."
"This the kid Jean?" She evidently had a companion who had come down the stairs without Harry noticing. Tall dressed in black leather with odd red hued glasses.
"Yes Scot, this is Harry Potter."
"Come on kid, the League of Heroes wants you, time to suck it up and do your duty."
"Duty to who Mr. I'm so cool I wear sun glasses when it isn't all that sunny?" asked Hermione transposing herself between Harry and this 'Jean' woman.
"Duty to humanity little girl. The kid's needed, so he goes."
"What is the meaning of this Potter?" Snape was feeling better and decided that if something happened within 300 miles of Hogwarts it was Harry's fault. "What have you brought these filthy Muggles here for?"
"I didn't bring them Professor, they brought themselves."
"Filthy Muggle? The red head's eyes suddenly started flaring a green fire, her hair crackling with static electricity. "What do you mean by that 'professor'?" she levitated the struggling man to her. "Lets see what you're thinking about, shall we?"
"Stupid Muggle Filth! I am amaster Occumens!"
"How cute, magical defenses against magical mind reading. I'm not magical little man. I'm a psi. Your defenses are NOTHING."
Snapes mind opened to her. "You slimy bastard. How could you treat children like that? Power? You think he has power? Let me show you power you pathetic little worm."
She opened his mind to the universe. She showed him what power was. She showed him a full size three dimensional map of the universe with a tiny arrow point to him labeled 'you are here'. A strong mind could handle that level of perspective.
Snape didn't have a strong mind.
"EEP!" Snape said intelligently.
He was once again in the fetal position, sucking his thumb and whimpering.
Harry saved that image to laugh at later, now he was busy.
"Wait. You're Jean Grey aren't you?"
"Yes I am."
"Haven't you died like 3 times?"
"Well, sort of, not really, well.... Yes."
"In fact, aren't you currently dead? Didn't Magneto fry your brain with a magnetic pulse?"
"That sounds familiar."
"If she's Jean Grey, then you're Scott Summers."
"And haven't you died like 3 times as well?"
"And didn't you just die when the shuttle you were piloting broke up in orbit and dumped you into vacuum?"
"Well you two dead people go back to your bosses and tell them that Harry Potter said he doesn't listen to pushy ghosts. Don't make us go get the Bloody Baron!"
"Alright, alright. Pushy Witch."
The pair reboarded the jet and it lifted off vertically.
Hermione looked at him and lifted one eyebrow.
"Best Girlfriend Ever?"