Oh it was a dream c“Is Allura here yet?” yelled a voice from amongst the Panic Crew. I winced as recognition dawned on me.
“Right here,” I spoke again, this time with much less enthusiasm.
“Why are you late? And why did you not inform me of your presence?” my boss inquired angrily.
“Because we couldn’t find you to tell you she had arrived,” answered Melissa simply. Thank the lord for good friends like other actors.
“Is this true, Allura?” asked Gwen, directing it at me. She knew a lot of times Melissa or Jack would cover for me, and a lot of times I was inclined to tell what really happened.
“Yeah, I’m sorry Gwen,” I said apologetically. “I’ve been here for….” I checked my watch, it was nine eleven. “About fifteen minutes.” I smiled at Gwen.
“I. Am. Here!” oh god. It was her.
Henry, Melissa, Jack, and I turned to the door just in time to see Derby Dinner’s star performer, the darling Diana. Gag me, please. At twenty three she was a size twelve with a chest that seemed like it would make her fall over at any possible moment, but then she would bounce back up again.
“I. Will. Gag!” I muttered, annunciating each word like Diana had.
Melissa groaned, Jack rolled his eyes, Henry shook his head, and I snorted into my hand. Gwen plastered a smile on her face and then another man came up.
“Is this your star actress? The one you said would be good for the Bride?” he asked in an accented voice.
To hell with this, all I wanted was to see Brendon Urie. But that’s when a crew member brought out the dress.
“Oh….my…..god…..” Melissa breathed as we all saw the dress. It was probably a size eight, and it wasn’t made for Diana, of that I was sure.
“This should be good,” I chuckled, leaning back against Melissa’s knee. I folded my arms and watched the proceedings.
“Is this what I will be wearing?” asked Diana in her fake British accent. Her grammar was atrocious, and her voice made me want to curl up and die. .
“No, that’s what the groom will be wearing,” I snickered and all four of the people looked at me. Simply shrugging, I smirked and watched.
“Yes, it is,” said the boss of the crew, he was surveying Diana with a dismayed look on his face.
“Then I shall go change,” snapped Diana, sticking her fake nose in the air. She grabbed the dress and went into the dressing room.
Then the Crew boss turned to my boss and asked, “Do you possibly have a spare actor I could use as a runner and errand boy?”
Turning, Gwen surveyed the four of us lazy good for nothings on the bleachers. “Allura,” she snapped, and I glanced over at her. “Do whatever he says,” she said with a bossy air about her. Then she walked off, maybe to help Darling Diana into the dress that was two million sizes too small.
“You. Girl,” the man was short, about my height and had black hair. He didn’t even glance at me as he walked over to a rack and grabbed four things: a red coat, a bowtie, a hat, and a stick thing. You know, like they use in broad way. The one that was black with white ends. He laid the coat in my arms and the stick over that. After seeing my hands were a bit full, he put the bowtie around my neck. The hate he sat on my head, even though it fell halfway down my nose. “Dressing room two, and stay there and do anything they tell you to,” he said. “Chop Chop.”
Was this Brendon’s outfit? WOW! Nodding I turned on my heel and walked to the specified dressing room.
At the wooden door I knocked quietly and waited. A moment before I was going to knock again a voice called, “Comeome true! I shoved the door open with my shoulder, not really able to see anything.
“Hey Brendon, your clothes walked in here by themselves!” joked a voice from my right. I think it may have been John.
“Yeah-is that a girl?” asked another voice. The hat was lifted from my head and I was suddenly staring at the face of one very hot twenty year old named Brendon Urie. And a vey shirtless Brendon Urie.
“I’m so sorry,” he apologized, glancing around. “I err, didn’t think Brad would send a girl in here. Do you work for this place?”
“I’m an actor,” I replied. “And where do you want this stuff?” I moved my arms a little bit. “Oh, and your Crew guy with the funny hair told me to stay here and do whatever you needed.”
“Just uh…put it over on the chair,” said Brendon. “And since you’ve been out there tell me, has the Bride arrived yet?”
Biting my lip, I put the stick and the jacket across the wooden chair. “Bride,” I choked out. “Yeah, yeah she has.” I dissolved into a small fit of giggles. “But don’t be surprised if they have a substitute,” I added.
“Why?” asked Spencer.
“Umm…it seems the dress your crew provided, well I don’t think it will fit her very well,” my mouth twitched in a smirk. I saw Brendon was still holding the hat so I asked, “Want me to hold that for you?”
“Hmm? Oh, this?” he looked at the hat, glancing down from where he had previously been staring at me like he’d never seen a girl before. “Yeah. Thanks.” He put the hat back on my head. Well. That was productive. I could barely see again.
“Awww, Brendon! Look, all she can see is the inside of your hat!” joked another person. I heard footsteps and somebody tilted the hate back so I could see. It was Brendon again.
“Sorry,” he muttered apologetically. Then to the room, “Hey, which one of you numbskulls took my white shirt?” a shirt was thrown at him and it hit him in the face. “And the gloves,” he sighed. He caught those and turned to me. “Can you hold these, just put them on or something so none of the other parasites get their hands on them again.”
Shrugging, I did and it looked like I was cat in the hat now or something. “I feel in touch with me inner Doctor Seuss,” I muttered to no one in particular.
This yielded more than a few laughs from the room, and someone walked over to me, beaming. I realized it was Ryan Ross. Alas, another dream come true. Unfortunately, this one had a shirt on. “You can’t be that in touch without this,” he grabbed the stick cane thing and handed it to me, and then turned to Brendon. “Give me your shirt,” he ordered. When Brendon did so grudgingly, Ryan gave it to me and told me to put it on. Then he laughed. “Now you’re in touch!”
I looked at myself in the mirror and snorted-right before I heard a scream from outside.
“What the-?” exclaimed Brendon and Ryan, but I just laughed.
“Oh this should be good,” I said, opening the door. Diana was out there. And she had tried to put the dress on. Wow.
Quickly I stifled a laugh, but just barely. The other Panic members came over as well to see what the problem was.
“I cannot wear this!” screamed Diana in her faux accent. “Do you not recognize that?”
“Recognize is the wrong verb for what you’re trying to get across. I would be asking them to simply give you a garbage bag,” I muttered to no one in particular.
“I’m sorry Darling,” said Brad. He looked as if he was trying to keep his eyes off Diana’s bust, which was all but falling out of the dress. “But that’s the only size we have.” He turned to the other four actors. “Anyone here a size six?” he asked hopefully.
“Rory is,” said Henry, Jack, and Melissa at the same time.
“Who is that?” asked Brad. The traitors all pointed at me.
“Errand girl!” snapped Brad, glancing in my direction. “Come over here and let me take a look at you.”
Sighing, I did so, taking off the hat and shaking my head to get my thick hair to at least lay somewhat straight. In its ponytail.
“Well….who’s shirt is that black one. Yours?” he asked, checking the size.
“It’s mine,” called Brendon, still shirtless, as he walked over to where Brad was still circling me like a puppy for inspection.
“Hmm. I guess she’ll do.” He turned back to Diana and Gwen. “I’m sorry, but we really do need someone who can fit the dress,” he told her in a nice way.
Diana nearly screamed with indignity, she glared at me and started shouting about uppity girls thinking they could usurp her roles.
Rolling my eyes, I shook my head.
“You. What was your name…Lyra,” he said, turning once more to me.
“Allura,” I corrected, glaring dully at him.
“Sure whatever. Go back to the band and help them like I told you to before. I will call when the dress is…errr….ready,” he eyed so said dress with caution, probably wondering if it would still be in one piece when Diana was through.
“Sure,” I shrugged, turning back around and following Brendon back to the dressing room and putting the hat back on my head.
“I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything so terrible in my life,” joked Ryan once the door was closed, he shuddered, but then looked at me. “Oh, I’m sorry. I guess she could be your friend-“
I cut him off, “No, please. Make fun of her, I do that on a daily basis.” I noticed Brendon had a white shirt on now, but was fumbling with the buttons. They were the kind you actually had to put one of the decorative buttons on first, and then get everything else done. It was also a woman thing. After a minute or so of watching this go on, I asked, “Would you like some help with those?”
Glancing up, Brendon blinked, “uh, sure,” he replied awkwardly. “I think it may be messed up….though….” he trailed off as I grabbed the box of fake buttons and attached one to his shirt, while still wearing his gloves. I quickly got the rest in, then made a magic motion with my hands.
“Alakazam!” I said, wiggling my fingers at it. Then I smiled lopsidedly up at Brendon and continued, “Try it now.” He did. And they went in much easier.
“Lyria dear!” called a voice from outside.
“It’s Allura damn it,” I muttered under my breath. “See you later,” I said half heartedly to Panic at the Disco. After taking all of Brendon stuff off, I went outside to see what I would have to do now.
In the main room, Brad was out there, looking expectant. When I crept out he positively beamed and clapped his hands together. “Lyra!” he exclaimed, striding over to me.
“Allura,” I corrected, smiling. My hands I had clasped behind me, and I was ringing them nervously.
“The dress is ready for you,” Brad said, leading me towards another dressing room. Before I could make a squeak of protest however, he had shoved me in and closed the door.
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