(#) whatareyouevensaying 2007-10-30 12:02:50 PMinsert snarky comment from Snape about attention seeking brats here
Excellent update. I like the restraint you showed with the smut, as well as Hermione's jealous reaction. Looking forward to more.
Author's responseI always feel silly attempting to write a sex scene, but they are an important part of the story...
The various multiship fics that have hermione alright with another girl always strike me as flawed. Not the way she is likely to have been raised...
(#) PerfesserN 2007-10-30 03:10:01 PMI agree with "T," great setup. I can hardly wait for the confrontations with the White Bumblebee, and selectively assorted Weasels.
Any confrontation with Malfoy will be like Bambi vs. Godzilla.
Nice job working through the polyamory issue - I agree, Hermione (Church of England upbringing) would have "sharing" issues. Putting her in sync with her sister-wife was brilliant.
Write on, write on!
Author's responseActually a certain greasy bat takes the first hit...
Other than making hime wet his pants, I don't know if I'm doing all that much with Malfoy... Maybe I'll let Daphne abuse him some, she needs a hobby.
I was going to gloss over the likely hood of Hermione emotionally accepting another woman in Harry's bed (staying completely away from the patented 'sure to get you kicked where it hurts' question of the two of them in the same bed just like just about every other multi ship fic does, but I wanted the ritual, so that I could have the girls privy to the Greek Chorus in Harry's head the telepathy angle isn't going to be used much. They can talk to him, but not each other, though each can hear what the other says to Harry. He can't talk to either of them telepathically (though his dreams and greek chorus comes through), he can sense their emotional states, they cannot sense his or each others.
- Very nice setup, I have to agree. I like the development of the threesome but I loved the Ernie and Justin interaction at the club. It was nice to see the other students acting as adults for a change and using their own minds.
Author's responseThanks. I'm trying to bring in more than the core cast. It amazes me how insulated this school is both in canon and in fics, I mean they constantly have references to not knowing someone who is in their own year (hell, I've done it my self in this fic, but my reasoning (Daphne the perfect unobtainable Ice Princess of Slytherin at least is a person that a basically shy kid like Harry would never approach) My class in High school had 483 people in it, I could (at the time) put names to faces for a majority of my class. Harry's year at Hogswarts is fewer than 50 people, and there are class mates he doesn't know? WTF?
(#) Geovanni_Luciano 2007-10-30 07:54:58 PMExcellent set up. Unfortunately I would have had Harry do a little more before dropping the wives bit. Where to now? Dumbledore will aspire to separate the three only to have to give into a marital suite for the three. Ron and Ginny will blow their tops only to be put into place, the hospital wing preferably. Enter Molly Weasley with a head of steam to address Harry and his SCARLET wive's club, to be put into her place but the aforementioned wives. Snape with his usual witty comments will be ignored or disregarded or perhaps put back to test from the Slytherin wife. Snape will eventually begrudgingly take points from Slytherin for her wanton blood traitor betrayal.
Update soon, I look forward to what you write next.
Author's responseBut it made such a nice Cliffhanger...
- Ohh, nice developments throughout and a delightful read. The shopping, dining, and dancing expedition was quite amusing and 'twas interesting to see Daphne's reaction to being introduced to new dining; I suspect they're going to do a fair bit of sampling of different cuisines. It would be amusing at some point for them to get a really bad meal and Harry commenting that -he- could do a better job; of course his bluff gets called and his experiences with the Dursley's actually help him for a change.
The private scenes were nice and believeable on both Daphyn's and Hermione's parts and I love the way they both agreed to the bonding. I suspect one aspect we've yet to really see is that they'll be able to build up Harry's self-confidence through the bonds; esp. after they hear that Greek Chorus a few times. I doubt we'll see both in his bed at the same time, at least for the foreseeable future as none of them really seem wired that way.
The newspaper articles were nicely done and such a contrast 'tween the two papers. -chuckle- Someone tell me, please, why the "/Quibbler/" is considered the more sensationalistic one. The responses of Molly and Ginny were rather amusing and it's going to be fun watching them deal, or attempt to deal with the new reality. I daresay that Ron is the one going to recieve the most physical hurt, though I suspect that if Ginny tries anything, she's going to find out, big time, just how dangerous this new trio is. I suspect, though, that it's primarily going to be emotional punishment for her as she sees her shot at Harry totally gone with the two marriages.
The return to Hogwarts was nicely done and that was such an deliciously evil way to end it. I loved the sudden shock on Dumbles' when he realizes just -what- Harry's done to escape his control. What should be colorful in the next chapter is watching the various reactions and seeing who gets smacked down first. I rather suspect that Draco's going to be real unhappy for a lot of reasons and totally impotent to do anything about it. If I had to hazard a guess, I'd suspect that Dumbles will be the first trial, likely followed by Snape
Author's responseI wanted the pair with the 'normal' upbringing (what ever that means) to introduce Daphne to 'the real world', just my little swipe at magical seggregation. There is nothing more enlightening about a culture than it's food. I don't know if Harry is going to do all that much cooking, maybe for the christmass break...
The bulk of the 'adult' fics have characters that sound (to me) like what ever girl in bed with Harry is a horny teenage boy. Probably mostly because they are written by horny teenaged boys. Nothing wrong with that, I was one once. I've never in my 56 years met a woman who was. I try to build a bit of realism into the story, even one as far fetched at this one. That being said, the only reason I included the telepathy in their bonding is I wanted the girls to be subjected to the Greek Chorus in Harry's head... just a litle joke on my part.
Re: the Newspapers... To my mind it isn't a HP fic without the papers. I just wish that JKR had allowed the Quibbler to maintain it's whimsy through the last book...
I don't forsee physical violence done to Ron or Ginny, unless of course Ron is stupid enough to lay hands on Hermione, then it's even money which of the new trio makes the filet 'o Ron... This isn't to say that there won't be abuse.
I've got something planned for Draco, but it isn't from Harry... I've got something planned for Neville too. Neville is going to be a very angry young man.
As I see it, Dumbles is going to attemtp to reassert control. Snape on the other hand is going to be his usual asshole self, and find out that Harry is the wrong guy to try his crap on...
Thanks for the review, as usual your points make me think about what I'm doing... and make changes. But I don't share credit. Mine! all Mine!
- Great chapter, this is a wonderful setup for the confrontation to come.
I really like how you have shown both girls to be uncomfortable with even the idea of this being a threesome relationship in the bedroom. Both ladies based on their upbringings, that you have shown, would tend to be very conservative in their sexual practices if given their own choice. While horny guys might like to dream and write about it, the Harry that is shown would probably not even think about it as sheltered as his exposure has been much less act on it.
Hermione's jealous response to Harry and Daphne's wedding night is exactly right for a women who has gone through everything that she has experienced and who has attached so much emotional energy in Harry. I think that the sister/wife bond with Daphne will also be very good for her in both the short and long term.
I'm looking forward to seeing what smackdowns will be coming for Ron, Ginny, Snape, Tonks, Molly, and Dumbledore as this story continues. I'm sure that some will be verbal and emotional,while others will be legal or physical as the situation permits and warrants.
I'll be looking forward to more of this story soon I hope.
Author's responseThank you.
In my 56 years I've never met a woman who happily jumps into the group sex that so many of these multi-ship fics show. While these stories are fantasies, there's no reason to be silly about it.
I did the jealousy because it seemed real (and looking over the chapter, I wish I had let the jealousy run a little longer so that Daphne's could flare as well.) and because I needed to motivate them to the ritual, I wanted the ritual so that I could clue the girls into Harry's Greek Chorus. I wanted to let them know about the voices in Harry's head because I just know that the Hermione in MY head will raise holy hell about his fantasies.
Snape will get his first. Ron will follow closely with his (first) serving of pain.
- "I've got something planned for Neville too. Neville is going to be a very angry young man."
Hmm, is Dumbles going to try and get back at him for supporting Harry, or going to try and use him since he can't control Harry anymore (games, perhaps, with Ginny Weaseley since she can't have Harry anymore)? Or is this related to Neville's magic also being blocked by Dumbles? Or just osme abysmal bit of stupidity of Dumbles'/Ron's part? In any of these cases, I can see the newer, rather more confident, Neville getting rather angry and allying fully, along with his lady, with the New Trio. This will not bode well for a lot of folk.
Of course, it's going to be -real- "educational" to see Tom's reaction to all this, esp. since Harry's handled the same situation with far less violence than he did.
Author's responseI could tell you why, but that would spoil it... Let it suffice to say that anyone who has ever given Neville crap, will regret it...
I'm planning Tom's back story in the next couple of chapters... From his POV of course, and Tom's the type to view himself in a flattering light...
- Oh, BTW, I loved the bit on the train between Neville et al. and Malfoy. If Draco thought his usual targets were difficult to deal with, ...
If this is an indication of the way the year is going to go, I -almost- feel sorry for "poor" Snivellus, he's going to have to cope with an angry/petulant Draco all year. I wonder if he can arrange a trade with Minerva just for a change of pace, he gets the Weaseleys (they -are- purebloods after all) and she gets Draco; I'll admit, though, that I'm not sure who'll get the better deal there. :D
Author's responseThe Train scene is almost obligatory, but this one was fun to write.
Snape won't have to worry about Draco all year... And When Minerva finds out what the Weasleys have done, they might find themselves having a problem or two with their head of house...