"Ladies, let me hear you holler! If you ever see shitty ass rock dudes in shitty ass rock bands asking you to show them your tits for a backstage pass, I want you to spit right in their fuckin' fac...
I've got a few curious looks...But it's not like it took me by surprise, I mean if I ever saw a girl in a black marching band jacket, looking like a mess and hiding behind her menu thingy, having nervous flinches every time an MCR song is being played on the radio, I would've stared too.
I've got a couple of calls from Gerard but I chose to ignore them...I was tired and didn't want to talk to him...He'll tell me to give him back the jacket, I'm gonna refuse, he's gonna plead, I'll refuse some more...We'll end up fighting which is exactly what Liz would've liked so she could comfort him and hug him and tell him I'm not worth it...The mere thought of her hugging him sent shivers down my spine, evil bitch...Not that he would be pleased I took off like that with his jacket but he'll think it's some kind of game.
The hours slipped by slowly, even slower then I thought....About half an hour before the party I decided to go back.
I took the dark path back, the one where couples usually liked to have sex, but it was dark and gloomy and I doubt Gerard would be lurking there.
I crept silently up the hill, avoiding bushes and trees until I reached the check in point, you usually had to show your pass to a big guy but there wasn't a security guard there, just a few guys with a camera.
They looked kinda familiar, so I figured I wouldn't have trouble going in.
They spotted me and immediately huddled around the camera guy.
I didn't suspect anything, probably a film crew making a video about life on the road or a band documentary, these weren't rare around here.
I was about to pass them when one of them got in my way, "Not so fast, gorgeous"
I smirked but didn't say anything.
"You wanna get in?", a guy in a black hoodie joined his friend.
I nodded, amused. They must think I'm some groupie or something.
"No problem", he looked me over and smiled, "Under one condition"
"And what is that?", I crossed my hands on my chest.
"Flash your boobs for the camera", the one with the camera kinda waved the camera in my direction.
I chuckled, "As if", I reached into my pocket where I usually keep my back stage pass, "I work here. I have a pass".
But I didn't find my pass, not in my usual pass pocket, and not in my other pockets.
The guys noticed my bewildered face expression and were watching me with a smirk while I knelt on the ground and spilled everything I owned into the grass but no sign of the pass.
I sighed in desperation, there's no way the security guards were gonna let me in without the pass. Andy, the tour manager, repeated like 59849580 times that without a pass there's no entry even if you're the president in the flesh.
I remember smirking at that cause obviously they're gonna let in the president.
What do I do now? I looked over at the guys who formed a circle around me and began closing in on me.
I suddenly felt flushed and scared, and angry at myself for running away from Gerard and losing my pass.
That's when I must've lost it. I just had to let Liz get to me and pull stupid shit on Gee, that's my punishment.
The guy in the black hoodie crouched next to me as I was still sitting on the grass with all my possession scattered around me, "What's it gonna be, beautiful", I shivered as I felt his breathe on my face, "Just show us what we want to see and you can get in", he pushed the hair out of my face like Gerard did not so long ago but Gerard's touch was warm and this guy felt like a hunter about to shoot his pray, "For free!", he added like it's the best deal ever.
My eyes welled up with tears, I didn't want him so close, I didn't want any of them so fucking close.
I felt like I'm running out of air, they were all so fucking close.
I could feel their presence and breathe and it made my skin crawl.
"Hey what's going on", I breathed out when I heard Bruce's reassuring voice.
"Nothing", the guys cleared the camera and lined up behind me.
"Skyler?", Bruce exclaimed.
I lifted my face to him.
"What the fuck?", he rushed to me and helped me to my feet.
I was still shaking when I gathered all my stuff back into my pockets.
"What happened?", he put his arm around me when we started going deeper into the light and the venue.
I told him with tears with in my eyes.
He ended up taking me to the boy's bus, I was getting too emotional for him so I guess he figured that Gerard will know what to do with me. But Gerard wasn't there, I wouldn't be surprised if he still looked for me around the venue. Actually no body was there, he might have took them all for a jacket hunt or something, I mean I know how paranoid Mikey gets about something happening to the costumes.
But the illuminated bus and the familiarity of it all soothed me, I took a bottle of beer out of the fridge to help me calm myself down so I can deal with Gerard.
"So you're cool?", Bruce looked at me awkwardly, like he's relived I stopped falling apart.
"Yeah", I smiled, taking a deep breathe.
Suddenly Gerard, Ray, Frank, Bob and Mikey appeared in the doorway.
They startled both me and Bruce, Bruce and I exchanged looks and then I lowered my gaze to my hands, avoiding meeting Gerard's eyes.
"What's wrong?", Gerard picked on my sadness straight away but I just wouldn't meet his gaze and I couldn't really say anything cause I was scared my voice will betray me so I kept gulping my beer, trying to look casual.
"Oh babe don't worry, I'm not mad", he closed the distance between us and wrapped his arms around me.
"Well I am", Frank pouted, "You're playing hide and seek and won't tell me? I thought we were friends"
I smiled at him. Mikey shook his head and joined Bob on the sofa.
"What's wrong, baby?", Gerard tugged on the jacket like he wants to get it off me.
"Nothing", I muttered while taking it off.
"She's just upset about...", I shot Bruce a dirty look, I know I didn't specifically said but I figured he'd understand that I didn't want to tell Gerard.
"What? About what?", Gerard turned to me.
I shrugged, "Nothing".
"Tell me", he squeezed me.
So Bruce ended up telling them, by the end of his story Gerard was practically about to go and wipe the floor with that band.
"You can't do it", Bruce grabbed Gerard by the arm and dragged him back into the bus, he had to do the same with the others, he positioned himself in their way and spread his arms widely.
"Why not?", Gerard demanded, crossing his arms on his chest.
"Because imagine the headlines", Bruce explained.
Gerard threw his hands in the air, "Do I look like I give a flying fuck about the fucking headlines?"
"Gerard", Bruce laid his hand on Gerard's shoulder, "You can't go around punching people. Teenagers look up to you, you'll ruin this band's image".
"I don't fucking care!", Gerard looked like if he doesn't punch some faces right now he's gonna explode.
"Gerard", Bruce looked at the rest of the boys for support but they all were behind Gerard, looking forward to crack some skulls, "You're getting big, do you want to fuck it up now?"
"If it means protecting my wi..girlfriend then yeah", Gerard was about to walk past Bruce, he looked furious, kinda like he looked like the night he punched Billy.
"The record company will not be happy, Gerard", Gerard froze on his tracks with his fists clenched on either side of his body, "You know they want fans to think you're single. Just how you're gonna explain to the press why you were punching some guys?"
Gerard's shoulder dropped in defeat, "I'll say whatever".
"It's not Jersey, saying whatever won't cut it, Gerard", Bruce saw his victory over them.
One by one they backed a little and hung down their heads, I could tell they were torn but it wasn't enough for me! I wanted to see some blood!
"Look guys I get it, they put Skyler in an awful situation, if it was my wife I'd do the same but you're not in the position to hit people particularly not after preaching to peace and anti violence. Get them in some other way", Bruce led Gerard deeper into the bus, set him on the chair and poured him some juice, "People listen to you, use your fame to make sure no one ever listen to that band ever again, make them look bad not yourself"
Gerard thought that over his juice and turned his hazel eyes on me. I looked away and commanded myself not to cry.
Look happy and casual, Skyler, there's nothing he can do about it. He's a celebrity now, better deal with it.
Don't cry just don't cry...You're OK...We're OK...Everything is great...And if somebody asks, we're not together...I'm just a friend of the band, grew up with them, that's not a lie...
Gerard is just my good friend like Frankie and Ray and Mikey and Bob are, I didn't marry him...He's not my husband...Fucking lies...
How did everything become such a lie...But I gotta smile, smile Skyler...For Gerard's sake, gotta keep the front man happy...
I wanted out of there, the feeling of suffocation was back to choke me but I couldn't...I had to keep my happy face for Gerard and walking out might give him the wrong idea..
I looked up and he was still looking at me, like he's trying to read my mind, I smiled, he smiled faintly back.
I stood up and walked over to him, "So are you going to this party?".
He took my hand and squeezed it, "I'll make them pay, I promise".
I smiled, "Don't worry about it"