Captain Oats would be proud
Kidrobot hoodies and neverending supplies of pop rocks will be awarded to the following:
rainydaykid13 - to me, reviews are never redundant. smiling never gets old, yo!
Lizzard - my sister bought a copy of viva la cobra on saturday. i'm pretty much in love with "the world has its shine." gabe + love song = OMFG amazing.
glindapsawyer - haha. i don't think you'll be disappointed with where i'm taking this fic.
SugarPlumFaerie - i'm really glad that people took note of the beef joke. it's one of the most genius lines i've written.
releasethepants - sun chips and frappuccinos? you're now on my list of favorite people. on my profile, look under "spiffy kids." =P
kittkattbar - curveballs will occur shortly. be afraid. lol.
medicatedlives - lmao. i can only imagine how insane the cobra bus actually is.
pyrotechnist - glad you liked 'here is your verse.' i'm pretty much making this fic up as i go--pairings in my head are anything but set in stone. but as stated earlier, i don't think you'll be disappointed with what i have in store.
--delilah - oh yes. love issues galore. just you wait. ;)
astrozombie28 - bill kaulitz hair? sweet! btw: i really like your ramblings.
dflip07 - stop doing homework. you're making me look bad.
21: “ c o o l ” b y g w e n s t e f a n i ’ s s t a n d a r d s
Upon opening my eyes, a bright light blinded me. Shielding my face, I turned onto my other side. As my eyes adjusted to the light, a cobra slithered past my face. I scrambled to my feet and took notice of my surroundings. Sand dunes stretched for miles in all directions.
I don’t know how the fuck it happened, but I had landed myself in the middle of a desert.
Squinting at the horizon, I could see figures slowly approaching. After a few minutes of watching, I realized that it was Patrick. He was playing Grand Theft Autumn on the trumpet. While riding a camel.
“What the hell?” I thought out loud.
Patrick continued to play while the camel stopped in front of me.
“It’s about time that you joined the party,” it said.
Confused and freaked out, I backed up a few steps.
“Weird, isn’t it?” someone asked. Looking down, I saw Hemmy sitting next to me.
“Hemmy? What the fuck is going on?”
“It’s a long story,” he said. “But you haven’t seen anything yet.”
A whirring noise from behind caught my attention.
Turning around I saw that Andy and Joe were dressed in brown cloaks, in the middle of what looked like a really intense light saber battle.
“There’s more,” Hemmy said. “Look over there.”
I followed his gaze and noticed Dirty off to the side. He was sitting in an armchair, smoking a pipe as Sophie gave him a lap dance.
“Like what you see, Wentz?” Dirty asked.
“I said we’re at the venue. Wake up.”
Opening my eyes, I saw Patrick standing over me.
“We’re at the venue,” he repeated.
“Oh, okay,” I said, rubbing my eyes.
I slowly got out of bed, absentmindedly humming a song that Patrick and I were working on. After putting on a pair of jeans, I looked around for a shirt. Seeing nothing clean, I grabbed something from a pile of clothes at the foot of the bunk and slipped it over my head.
Hemmy followed as I made my way toward the front of the bus, collar tags jingling as he walked.
“Sleeping beauty finally awakens,” Andy commented.
“Hey, that’s my shirt,” Sophie said.
I looked down and saw that she was right.
“Yeah, but I look better in it.”
“Please. You wish you had the boobs to fill it out.”
“Oooh, burn!” Joe added.
Taking a seat at the table, I pouted.
“You guys are supposed to be on my side.”
“But Soap made us breakfast,” Patrick said, pointing to his plate.
“How do you know it’s safe to eat?”
“We tested it on Dirty.”
Sophie stuck her tongue out at me while I poured myself a bowl of cereal. Seeing as we were already at the venue, I devoured my food.
“Really attractive, Pete,” she commented as I finished the last few bites. Rolling my eyes, I slurped up the last of the milk and wiped my mouth with the back of my hand.
Andy and Patrick and Joe were the first off the bus, followed by Dirty and Sophie, then I trailed behind with Hemmingway.
“Hey, are those my jeans?” I asked, recognizing the stitching on the back pockets.
“Yeah, but I look better in them,” she said in a mocking tone.
“You don’t have the dick to fill them out.”
“Like you do?” she sarcastically said.
“Damn, double burn!” Joe said, looking back.
I flipped him off and Sophie laughed as he gave her a high five.
Making our way to the venue, I couldn’t help but notice the awkward space between Andy and I. Joe, Patrick, Pete and even Dirty picked up on it. In their true meddling fashion, Dirty and Pete pushed me forward, causing me to trip into him.
“Woah, you okay?” he asked, catching me.
“Yeah, thanks.” As I continued walking, I could feel the heat rising up to my cheeks. Looking over my shoulder, I glared at the two conspirators behind me.
When we got to the dressing room, the guys, yet again, found a way to screw me over.
“I need to take care of that guitar…thing,” Patrick said, awkwardly gesticulating. “What about you, Joe?”
“Nah, my guitar’s fine,” he said, oblivious to the huge hint that was dropped. Trick tilted his head slightly and made one of those come-on-just-play-along-with-it faces. “…Uhh, now that I think about it, it was sounding a little off.”
They walked off, leaving me with Andy, Pete, and Dirty. We sat around on the couches for a bit, but Hemmingway started barking and circled Pete’s feet, indicating that he needed to take a dump.
“Aw come on, Hem.” The dog whimpered and looked up at him. “Alright, I’ll get the pooper scooper.” Pete got up and followed Hemmingway as he scampered out the door.
“I’ll supervise!” Dirty added, following the two.
Andy and I looked at each other, then looked at the floor.
With all the tumbleweeds that rolled between us, I felt trapped in a really bad Western, minus Clint Eastwood.
Needing to break the awkward silence that had filled the dressing room, I looked for an excuse to say something.
“Soap, could you pass me those drumsticks?” I asked.
“Uh, sure.” She handed the bag to me, then awkwardness ensued once again.
“So… This whole ‘still friends’ thing is easier said than done,” I commented.
“Just think ‘cool’.”
“You know. The Gwen Stefani song. If she and Tony could pull it off, I think we can too,” she said, offering me a smile.
“Only you would find an analogy between us and No Doubt,” I said, resting my elbows on my lap.
“Only you would actually get my reference.” She chuckled and playfully pushed at my shoulder. I let out a laugh.
Maybe this won’t be so difficult after all...
“I think we’ve given them enough time to get over that whole awkward-silence thing,” I said, walking toward the dressing room.
“You know, for a singer, you’re not being very eloquent at the moment,” Joe commented.
I laughed in agreement. “That’s why Pete writes the lyrics.”
“Our noses grazed. And it was like the most sexually charged nose-graze in the history of nose grazes. It's essentially nose-humping, is what it is.”
“If he touches you any place weird, neigh as loud as you can.”
Upon hearing their conversation, Joe and I looked at each other in confusion. Curious to what was going on, I carefully opened the door.
“A triangle’s not a friendly shape… It’s a point, it has sharp edges…triangles hurt people,” Soap said. At this, Andy started cracking up. Joe and I were still thoroughly lost.
“What are you guys doing?” I asked.
“Feeding kangaroos. Can’t ya tell?” Now it was Sophie’s turn to burst into laughter.
After taking a few deep breaths, she was able to compose herself.
“We were playing Seth Says.”
“Seth Cohen. From The OC. We were seeing who could come up with the best quotes, then Andy switched it up and used one from the Simple Plan DVD,” she explained. “I didn’t even know that you watched it,” she said, turning to Andy.
“Please, we were all there when you went through your Simple Plan phase. If I recall correctly, you were planning on marrying David Desrosiers.”
“Ha, I remember that!” Joe said, laughing.
“Shut up,” she said, throwing a cushion at him. “I couldn’t help it. French-Canadian boys are so… French-Canadian.”
“You’re such a dork.”
“Canadians, eh?” Pete asked, joining the conversation.
“I went to Canada once,” Dirty said. “Flirted with one of those Mounties.”
“There are women Mounties?” Joe asked.
“Yeah, but the one I was talking to was a dude.”
“Long story short: you’re not supposed to take a piss in Niagara Falls.”
Now that things are COMPLETELY resolved with Andy, Soap is free to move on to another love interest. Question is, who will it be? Gabe? Joe? Or maybe Brendon?
As usual, REVIEW and or AIM me @ Disast3rous.
I like conversing with you guys even more than I like writing.