Gerard ran off the stage in the middle of the show towards me. He quickly picked me up and threw me over his shoulder. “Gerard Arthur Way! Put me down right now!” All he did was laugh and give me a pat on the butt. As he got back on stage with me still on his shoulder the crowd screamed. He put me down on the stage next to him, I looked at him confused. He looked over at me then took the mic. “I want you to meet someone if you haven’t already! Her name is Heidi, she is my love, one of my best friends, and she keeps me together. This girl is the only girl that can put up with my bullshit and I love her for that. Give her a warm welcome Dallas!” The crowd screamed. At that moment everything slowed down; in the midst of the commotion I glanced over at Frank. For that one moment that we had eye contact I felt ashamed, but then another emotion came to the surface. Love. I quickly turned away wrapping my arms around Gerard’s waist going along with the charade. At one point I almost cried; cried because I felt lucky to have his love; cried because I knew I wasn’t worthy of his love. Gerard had crew bring out a stool on the stage so I could watch the rest of the show. Sitting there I could feel thousands of eyes boring holes in me.
After the show I sat quietly on the couch of the dressing room zipping and unzipping my jacket. The band was still in the arena meeting the fans; my head snapped up looking at the door. Frank stood there smiling, I looked at him then went back to playing with my zipper. He sat down next to me putting his arm around me, I scooted further away from him.
“What was with the look on stage? You looked really hurt, you’re aren’t playing along very well.” he scooted closer to me putting his arm around me again. I gave up and settled down next to him. “Its kind of hard to play along when you’re giving me googly eyes on stage. You aren’t playing along either.” He laughed. “Well looks like neither of us can play.” Suddenly I felt out of place. I whispered looking over at him . “Maybe we shouldn’t play this game.”
He smiled then kissed my softly on the lips. “We shouldn’t but we will. I love you Heidi.”
I sighed. I was slyly trying to get out of the game but it wasn’t working. “I love you too, Frank.” I scooted myself off the couch. “I should go find Gerard, before Bob gets suspicious.” Frank looked at me confused. “I’ll tell you about it later. I’ve got to go.” Just as I was walking toward the door he caught up with me. He put his hands on my shoulders. “When we get to the hotel, I want you to meet me in the lobby. When everyone is asleep.”
I smiled kissed him quickly and left the room.
In the room…
Gerard wanted to make love to me but I made up an excuse saying he needed to rest. I slowly got out of the bed and walked to the bathroom. Looking in the mirror I was looked the same. Same long blonde hair, same brown eyes, same freckles. Not the same inside. Only confused inside.
I pushed truths in the back of my head and got ready. I took my hair down from its clip and let it fan out around my face. I looked down at what I was wearing, I was going to change but I knew he wouldn’t care. Before I left the room I made sure Gerard was sleeping. I quickly fled to the elevator hoping no one would suddenly come out of their room. I pushed the button of the elevator repeatedly. To my surprise I made it home free.
Love love love…
I stepped off the elevator feeling nervous; but excited. Walking around the lobby I looked for Frank, I finally spotted him at a table with a box in hand. I smiled; I walked up behind him wrapping my arms around his neck letting my hair fan out over his face. Frank pulled me around and sat me on his lap. He kissed me on my nose.
My face lit up I looked down at the box in his hand. “What’s that?”
He laughed. “It for you, but you can’t open it until we talk.” I frowned. He wanted me down here to talk, haven’t we talked enough?
I sat down in the chair across from him waiting for him to speak. He ran his fingers through his hair slowly then looked at me. “Heidi, I know things have been crazy lately. Really crazy, but this is the happiest I’ve ever been. But I’m going to ask you do something for me.”
“Good. I want you to go home.”
My heart sank, go home? “Home?”
“Yes. I can tell you don’t know what you want.”
“I do. It’s you!” I felt like screaming it to the whole lobby.
“I want you to be sure. Go home for awhile away from Gerard and I , think it over then I will fly you out to Jersey when we’re on our break.”
“You want me to leave. I’ll leave. But you better keep it in your pants while I’m gone.”
He laughed hysterically. “Don’t worry. Things will be better when you get back.”
I nodded. We talked some more then he gave me the box. When I opened it I saw a necklace with a ring on it. The ring was incrusted with diamonds and rubies, inside the ring it was engraved.
“I’d die for our love.”
I knew he was serious and that’s what scared me. I put the necklace on quickly kissed him goodbye and took the elevator back to the room.
He’d die for our love?
Would I die for our love?
Would I die for Gerard’s love?
That’s what kills me….
Should I keep writing?
Thanks for reading.